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Woo Hoo It's Wednesday... TFG:) Thank *&^%$#@ God

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
I think Wed. is starting to become my new fave day of the week at least lately for some reason... don't know why.  I feel good and have been smiling all day. Went to bed early and was good last night. People have been smiling at me too but I think that is because my shirt is partially see through. So this is a big week for me. First real 5k this weekend and as I expected I am woefully ill-prepared. Only got half way thru my training program once football/cheerleading started. I just don't have enough hours in the day as a single mom. No... that's not true... that is an excuse. I do have enough time, I am just too effing lazy and still clinging to my poor lifestyle habits which thrive on my lazy ass! I have made some changes though and I am going to make more I swear! How can I change into one of those people who gets up at 4:00 a.m. and runs around for a few miles before going to work??? Is there an app for that?

Anywho... I am still excited about the whole race experience and we get a really cool long sleeved t-shirt to boot. Maybe this can be the start of a new tradition or regular occurrence for me and my best gal pal Ms. B.

So here's what.... I'm thinking...Next week is Halloween and we all know that this marks the start of a potentially disastrous face stuffing holiday eating season for all of us fat-arses. I need to come up with a plan to get me through it. It has to be a weekly road map of diet and exercise so I don't  finish the year in another weight class. The good thing on the exercise front is that football & cheer leading are about over so no more activities for a little bit. I can finally resume my evening runs at a reasonable hour of the day/night. This also means that we get to come home every day and eat at home, together, in our kitchen. Here I can cook clean meals, the good stuff for my fam. So this is the start of the plan I am crafting... 3 runs a week, 5 days clean eating, 2 days a little cheating ( this will allow for those holiday party snacks that I so love). I am going to also make it my goal to blog about it, photograph it... my self, my food, my running shoes, whatev.  I am excited... I can do this.

On a slightly darker crappier note (but my above plan will help me deal with this too) ex-douche meat just will not let go so we may be forced to spend more low quality time together as his business usually snails along at this time of year. I am going to do my best to run more and wine less... but we shall see.

Pic to come of  Slightly see-through blouse... I don't give a shit... I like. God I need some botox:(

Update Update

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Ok, so I am committed to getting back here on a regular basis. I was doing so well for awhile and really enjoying spilling my guts and thinking out loud here in my little blog that no one reads. But it is cathartic like having a journal and  good to go back and see how I have been thinking feeling in recent times. But where to begin??? How about let's get the worst of the shit out of the way first... the dreaded divorce chronicles.

Let me just start by saying that I love men, I really, really do. But I have ended up with one of thee most sorry pathetic hateful excuses for a man on the planet. His sole existence revolves around meeting his own needs and trying to destroy what is left of my life. Ugh... I am so sick of being held hostage by this man. I had to postpone our last court date because he refuses to sign the papers. And the latest and greatest news is that he no longer is agreeing to stay elsewhere when he is in town. His plan is to stay at the house until the divorce is final which it never will be because he won't sign the paperwork. I am so sick of him. I would like to scream. So I am packing... again. Looks like we will be moving sooner rather than later. He is giving me no choice. I hate the man, he is a selfish bastard.

So that is the bad news. On other fronts everything else seems to be plugging right along. I have been grossly off the wagon on my quest toward fitness. Something about having to deal with douchebag on a daily basis just makes me angry and that makes me want to eat and sit around feeling sorry for myself. I am really mad at myself for caving. Gained a few lbs. back but not too much damage done. Trying to figure out the best plan to get back on track. I am really wanting to do 100 days of real food but it just seems so daunting. Need to quit smoking and drinking for good... it is just such a huge time waster for me and not to mention  killing any effort I put into doing something healthy and good for me!!! It is time to stop the insanity. My one biggest concern is that my best friend and I are horrible influences on each other. Every time one of gets on the wagon the other one pulls that person right off and down to the gutter. What do I do about this??? I love her to death but we are bad to the bone together. I think the truth is that we both have so much in our lives that we are just not happy with... so we slowly try to take ourselves out...Lol. boy this whole paragraph sounds like more bad news!!!

Goal for the week... I know it's Tuesday... should have done this Monday. Run twice instead of sitting home and drinking/eating/smoking. I can do this. My big 5k is on Saturday... my training program stalled at week 4... I am also really mad about that. But I can still pick it back up and finish. Going to sign up for another run to keep motivated.

Food goal... pick up the eat clean book again and start studying. Do some research into what it would take to do the 100 day challenge. If I think about where I was a hundred days ago... ugh... that was douche meat's birthday actually. Well, the point is a lot can change in 100 days... actually you can change your whole life in a lot shorter time than that. Hmmm... real food for thought. I'm thinkin again.

Ooopsie... Got a little off track here!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Oh my goodness, I can't believe I have been gone for so long. I miss spilling my guts here in my little blog that is apparently just for me. So where have I been... hmmm... back on the roller coaster of my crazy life for sure. Things have been pretty good overall. I still feel like I am failing miserably at accomplishing all of the things I am required to do on a daily basis... mostly because in fact, I am. But on the bright side... no one knows this but me and I don't give a shit if I have 6 loads of clean clothes on my bed waiting to be folded, hung, put away... I really don't. And I pretty much do every GD day, no matter how hard I try to get it done, the shit will just not put itself away!!! Lol.

In other news I joined a new online dating site...  and ooh child... it has been tons o' fun!!! I think I found my people. Seriously, this site is so much better than It's a much more fun and casual approach to internet dating. Perhaps a little too casual as there seems to be a lot of folks on it strictly looking for sex... all kinds of sex. Wow, there are some freaks out there people!!! I have had 2 dates thus far... one a complete waste of time with a 40 year old man that lives on his boat... a very tiny ski boat in a local marina.   I am assuming he showers every day in the marina bath house before he heads off to work in an auto parts store... oh so attractive. He likened his living situation to that of taking up residence in a walk-in closet and professed that it was something "everyone should do once". Ummmm... no thanks David... I'll let you try it first! Oh yeah and I bought my own drink...can you say LOSER!!!!!! Second date was with a 29 year old chef... who upon the conclusion of our lunch date on a Tuesday afternoon in broad daylight, proceeded to grab my hand and try to wrap it around his... well, you get the idea. Although I was extremely flattered that I could produce that effect over chips and salsa... it was not happening. So maybe this site is not perfect either, doubtful that any of them are but I am finally feeling like getting out there and seeing what the world has to offer, no matter how pathetic and horny they are. Another date this Saturday with a 33 year old who has a lot of tattoos. I am trying to keep an open mind and date people that may be completely opposite of me just for shits and giggles. As my best friend pointed out the other day... this might be the only chance I have again in my life to do this, to just be free and do whatever the hell I want with whomever the hell I want. Or on the other hand I could be single for the rest of my days to be slutting around with youngsters... who knows???? I guess the point is who really cares right now? I don't, I have been thru hell this past year and the hell continues... see next blog post... so I am trying to just have a little fun, a few stolen moments. Can ya blame me?