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Black Friday #backtatazzup Road Trippin Part Deux

on
Friday, November 29, 2013
My kids and their Cousins...

Wow... this week has absolutely flown by with my family in Michigan. This post is going to be short and sweet as we are getting back on the road in a few hours to head home. Well, to head to Lexington and then on to Atlanta tomorrow. Must be home in time for the Noles to kick off against the Gaytors at 3:30 tomorrow. It was a great week and I will share it all in a long re-cap post on Monday cause I took tons of pictures like a good blogger! There were so many great moments this week with loved ones but I guess the thing I am most excited about aside from those is my new tattoo! I have been waiting so long to get this done and it was extra special because it was a gift from my Mom and she went with me. Sooo here it is...


And I love it. It is exactly what I wanted.

So lets #backthatazzup with Whit and a little driving music from my future hubcap Mr. Robert Ritchie...

Roll on and catch ya on the flip side lovies<3


Why Blogging is Like Thanksgiving Dinner

on
Thursday, November 28, 2013


Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. It's all food and family and relaxing and hanging out but it's also creative genius with casseroles and pies and things crammed into birds made out of bread and nuts and herbs. It's different flavors and feelings that result in one big warm and fuzzy feeling... like blogging.

When I start thinking about a post or a big turkey day feast I kind of get a list together in my head of my initial thoughts on the subject.  I have to make a shopping list to create the most perfect and fabulous meal like ever and I have to bullett out some talking points for a decent post (sometimes). There are also the guests... who would I really most love to see at my table?...some family, some friends all coming together  watching football, eating, drinking  and just spending time together... you are never sure who is going to show up... kind of like your readers. So this meal is kind of like the blogging community. Even though we  don't really get  together very often it usually somehow all works smushed up on the same plate... like Thanksgiving dinner or sweet potatoes touching green beans.

My Bloggy Thanksgiving Analogy

Planning the Menu
 I think... whats in my head? on my mind? what sounds good?
Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Stuffing,/ Life, Sex, Divorce, Money, Fashion

Shopping
I Go to the store with a long list of fancy ingredients and wander the aisles/I Sit down at my laptop with all of my bullet points and stare at the screen ... with glass o' wine

Preparation
Washing, Slicing, Dicing, Mashing, Basting up that little butterball /Typing, Google Imaging, Gif-ing, Deleteing Re-Writing

Cooking
Get all that shit in the oven and wait./ Save and close and think about it for awhile.

Setting the Table
Put out the China and the Waterford, Grandma's Silver/Add in the perfect selfies/photos and crop just right... maybe with a sweet filter

Pouring the Wine
It needs to breathe a bit/ Link Up if it applies

Plating the Food
Arrange that grub so it looks purrrrdy with drizzles of thick gravy and glossy sauces/ Center Justify or Left or Right, Add  a nice pic Monkey Photo Collage

Serving the Meal
Ring that dinner bell and get out the way/ Click Publish and exhale

Unbutton the Pants
Push back from the table and discreetly explode/ Slob on the couch, ur done for today

Dessert
Slice a sliver of each pie and cover it with whipped cream/ Drink wine on the couch and catch up on all your other favorite blogs

The After Dinner Conversation
Shut up I'm watching football/ Wait for some adoration comments and promptly respond


Pack Ur Leftovers and Go Home
Scoop this and that onto paper plates and cover with loose foil that will keep popping off/ Think about what you forgot to add and how you could do it better next time.
(how stinking cute is this for my jar food obsession - leftovers)


Give Thanks
 for all of your loving peeps/bloggy friends.
The End.

Everyone have a blessed holiday! I am so so thankful for all of the blessings in my little slice of the universe.  I am off to stuff the pie hole and then embark on the journey back south on Friday.

LYLT,

Pure Michigan.... What You Need To Know

on
Wednesday, November 27, 2013

So in honor of my trip home to The Mitten I thought it would be a good time to give you some deetz on what makes this state so awesome!

We have produced some amazing music legends! Like the guy pictured above, Bob Ritchie aka Kid Rock. Whenever my Ava sees me staring at his picture she says "I don't like that guy" and I say "Too bad cause he's going to be your new Dad". Here are a few other MI favorites of mine...

Ted Nugent, Eminem & Bob Seger
They a lil cray cray but we love em:)

We have Pasties... and ya'll are probably like WTF is that???


Well, it's a delicious little pie filled with meat and veggies and potatoes covered in an amazing flaky crust. And rutabaga... gotta have rutabaga. Shut up it's good. And it's a MI thing, I am fairly certain that they don't make these anywhere else in the entire world and it's a damn shame I tell ya. It might possibly the best hangover comfort food ever. It's a pie filled with meat you can hold in your hand for God's sake!

We have dueling coney islands that are legendary....


And the food is legendary too... seriously like the best hot dogs ever.


We have lakes that look like oceans, really... like you can't see the other side. No saltwater or sharks either. And giant sand dunes too. This is at The Sleeping Bear Dunes on Lake Michigan.


We have great sports traditions like the octopus on the ice at Red Wings hockey games. The animal activists are trying to stop this cause it's cruel to the Octopi but we've been doing it since 1952 so... good luck with that ya freaks. 



We have an island called Mackinac (pronounced Mackinaw) where there are no cars allowed and it's so beautiful you feel like you stepped back in time. Oh and they are famous for making fudge, this might be heaven, I'm not sure. Except in the winter cause you are cut off from the world, with no car and a shit load of fudge.


Michigan is my home state and there are so many beautiful things here. Most of all my family, friends and memories. You should come visit!


Why Miley is In Fact a Role Model

on
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
I didn't watch the AMA's the other night but folks were tweeting about Miley again and it got me to thinking. Some guy tweeted how she is such a horrible role model for girls which I completely disagree with on a lot of levels. First of all as I always say I have 2 daughters and I am their role model. Period. We talk about women and girls in popular culture as well as in our family, neighborhoods, schools, jobs, sports teams, etc. If one could argue that musicians and actresses are role models for our children then doesn't it go without saying that people in our own circles are just as much so? Yet when is the last time I said to my daughter..."just look at Mrs. So and So down the street, she is drunk at a party and making a fool of herself... don't be like her". We don't say that but clearly there are folks all around us behaving badly on the daily. Sometimes we are behaving badly too but when is the last time you apologized to your kid for being an ass? Most people don't. I don't always but I try to. Cause some times I am not perfect and they need to know that that is ok too.
Miley is not perfect either but here's the thing she can teach us and our young girls... she says in the latest interview I read in Cosmo that she is happy. She. Is. Happy. Now she could be lying but she "made 2013 her bitch" and I would say it shows. She did break off an engagement but does she look devastated or glowing? Glowing. She took an ass pounding over her performance at the VMA's but is she in hiding? Nope...She's putting it all out there.
As a woman who has spent most of her life making sure everyone else was happy because I thought that made me the "perfect woman" for my husband and my family, I can say I really admire Miley. Now let's not get totally carried away here and say she is 100% making the absolute perfect choices right now. I don't really know if she is or she's not. After all she is in her early 20's for God's sake. When I think of some of the things I did I can honestly say I am lucky to be alive. But who am I to say... if she was smoking meth and making porn I would say she's really effing up cause that shit is illegal and deadly but still, she would only be hurting herself which we all have a right to do. She is an artist and a performer and she performs... really well I think. If you don't like her music or twerking don't listen and don't watch. But who is she really hurting? If your daughter is watching Miley and walking around saying I want to be just like her I say you have bigger problems. I don't know if my daughters want to be like me or not but I can teach them how to be the best selves they can be. By chasing their dreams, doing what makes them happy and fulfilled, surrounding themselves with positive and good human beings, working hard and never giving up.



And let me just say.... damn... this girl looks freaking amazing and don't even try to argue with me on this. Cause when ya get down the road a piece you will look back at photos of yourself at different stages of your life and I can promise you, regardless of the clothes or makeup, hairstyles or fads, it is when you are most happy and fulfilled that you look your very best and most beautiful. And whatever you are doing in your life, it means you are doing it right, for you.

Promise.
 

And also I would give up wine something really good for this dress.  

Weekend Re-Cap From Pure Michigan....

on
Monday, November 25, 2013

Yes we made it and in surprisingly good time. I can report that the kids were fighting....like screaming... about a seat reclining before we left the neighborhood and the dog threw up when we were one exit down the highway from where we live... seriously... all over the snack bag. Other than that the trip was actually pretty damn good! It took 11 hours, 3 pit stops and one over night stay in a pet friendly hotel that was attached to a bar  - yeah come on! Not too bad all things considered. The first day I drove the last 2-3 hours in the rain in Kentucky which was pretty much effing miserable. But the second day we saw pretty snow flurries for about the last 2 hours in Ohio so that made up for it. We ate our weight in Pringles and Ez Cheese but no one threw up (except Winston), peed their pants, cried or lost an eye so I consider the trip a huge success. And somehow we also made it in record time, mostly cause I didn't see any sign of the Po-Po.
  
I am not sure what my posts this week are going to entail here from the parental abode. The nice thing about being here at home is that we just don't do much. I slept laid in bed till 9 today and it was glorious. It's a little chilly but not too too bad! My brother came over with his boys and my sis in law. We had pizza from the same place my parents have been going since 1979... please... don't even start with me all of you youngsters! 
My youngest also made a special request to celebrate her Dec. birthday early with our family up here because she doesn't ever get to do that. So yesterday we had cake and ice cream for Ava's 8th birthday, which is actually Dec. 15th. The dog is in hog heaven because they have a fenced in yard and the crate (which we brought) is still in the car. 
Today gotta make my tattoo appointment, maybe do a lil shopping, pasties for dinner... hmmmm so many choices. Or more of a whole lotta nothing... which is A-OK with me too!



How was your weekend?

Sami's Shenanigans

Over The River And Thru The Woods, Don't Forget Your Box Of Wine....

on
Friday, November 22, 2013
I am heading to the great white North today with my kids to see my parents and I do love me a good road trip. Really, I don't mind. But then again I am a pro and I run this mutha so... there's that. So here's a lil list of  your basic do's and don'ts for a good old fashioned cross country family trek. Happy Trails!

Do's and Don'ts For Road-Trippin With Children

Do - Have Fun! This is the stuff that memories are made of. My brother and I still re-tell our kids hilarious stories about trips my parents took us on as kids decades ago. 

Do - Pack a lot of snacks. Kids get hungry and buying snacks on the road can be pricey. But think about the mess factor. Things that come in a can are really good... and if you don't like snacks that come in a can we probably can't be friends.


Incidentally, this up here goes really good on that down there. Don't knock it...


Don't make too many pit stops at La Bell des Tacos. Kids love to make a run for the border but they also tend to explode rather quickly, sometimes like volcanos. And often it comes fast and furious. Can really screw up a long road trip. Thank God my daughter doesn't remember that when she was about 3 she had take a shit on the side of the highway... it was urgent. Her Dad and I laughed, cause we are horrible people. Seriously steer clear of spicy food and mystery meat.



Stop when you need to so you don't get tired and fall asleep at the wheel. Or drink a lot of red bull and wear depenz. Gotta stay on schedule. Kidding. 



Do pack a box of wine if you plan to stay over night in a hotel on the road. There is nothing more annoying than paying $40 for a bottle of wine from room service that you know you can get at the grocery store for $9.99. Except possibly being trapped in a rented room for the night with 3 kids and no wine. Bottles are heavy and not safe to travel with. Safety first!

Also make sure everyone has their own blanket and pillow, slip on shoes for quick pit stops, bottled water, head phones, technology device and charger... cause no one wants to share any of these things and fights will ensue. Nothing like popcorn or any food even remotely ball shaped as it lends itself to throwing, is allowed anywhere near the car. No gum. No chocolate for anyone but the driver.

And now I need to finish work, pack and get the show on the road!

Oh and don't forget to check out my gal pal Holly at Where We Can Live Like Jack & Sally! She is doing a giveaway today for a $75 Target e-Card and we could all use some extra dolla dolla bills around the holidays!

But first it's time to #backthatazzup with Miss Whitney!

Wish me luck! Catch ya on the flip side...
Highway to Hell by AC/DC on Grooveshark

If Only My Parents Knew...About Puke & The Carwash

on
Thursday, November 21, 2013

Linking up with Miss Erin from Two Thirds Hazel  & Miss Rebecca from Mommy In Heels today for a little spilling of the guts. My parents might actually know this, in fact I am quite sure they knew a lot more than I gave them credit for. Since I am a parent now I can see that sometimes it's nice to sit back and laugh at your kid trying to get out of some colossal shit storm that they have created for themselves without you knowing about it. It's kind of funny the hoops we jump thru to keep our parents from finding out about our screw ups. At least I did, and that's ultimately the sign of a good parent... when you would do anything to keep from disappointing them, they are doing something right.

So let's get down to my story... its a short one. It has to do with a drunk guy, puke and a car wash. My older brother and I shared a car in high school... and it was my baby. For some reason I thought it was more mine than his... prolly cause it was kind of a chick car...  but it wasn't. It was a fire engine red Escort GT like this... oh lawd.....


So he takes the car out one night with his buddies. I think they went to a football game. Now everyone has that one friend in high school who drinks.... a lot more than anyone else and ours was Johnny K. I say ours because my bro and I were/are very close and only one year apart in school so there was over lap on the friends.  And all his guys friends dug me, but that's not the point, just an interesting tid bit of useless info.  But this was a guys night and I was mad that I was stuck at home and he was out in my our car. I think they went to  a football game. Any who Johnny K got really drunk and really sick on the ride home. As my brother is driving and yelling "don't puke in the car, open the door" JK lets loose and not only pukes all over the inside of the passenger door but himself as well. Now the car is trashed, Johnny K is a mess and the car stinks like beer vomit. What do you do? Hit the car wash... this kind of car wash... self serve.... (and it's fall in Michigan in an outdoor car wash... that shit is cold)

 

You drive in, open the passenger door, get your friend out and stand him up against the wall and proceed to power wash him and the inside of the passenger side of your car. Cause you can't go home with a pukey friend and a stinky car. Turns out the car wash doesn't really get the smell of anything out. So what's the solution? Cause when I got in  my car the next day I was furious and nauseous from the rank smell. My bro begged me not to tell and of course I was cool but we had to figure out a way to cover up the smell. I guess this was before Fe-breeze...Our solution... of course... smoke... and Lysol. Smoke our brains out. Because smoking in the car is not nearly as bad as drinking, right? So I/we smoked my/our brains out for about the next two months in an attempt to cover up the smell of puke. Brilliant logic of the teenage brain. I am sure my parents were like WTF did they do, and I'm sure they knew something but we thought we pulled one over. In the end we were punished by driving around in that puke fest ashtray car for about the next 6 mos.

That's about one of the best I got!

Please someone top that!

I know I'm Forgetting Something....

on
Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Sarah Jessica Parker!!!!! Do I????

I was sitting here all night thinking hmmm... feels like I should be doing something but I was so happy that no... in fact there was nothing on tap after the Brownie meeting tonight! My bestie and I dropped the girls off at their mtg. and zipped over to our local hideout for a quick glass o' wine... clearly this was my first mistake. Cause when I got home I proceeded to do nothing but watch Bravo and tweet happily from my sofa.  And then I realized right as I was about to go upstairs... shit... it's Thanksgiving pot luck at the office tomorrow. I have to make a freaking double batch of green bean casserole and it's ... almost 11:00.

Shhhhhhhugahhhhhhh! Oopsie!!!

So... here we go..... at 10:55...

Here's my post on how to throw together a mac daddy green bean casserole right as you are about to hop into bed. Cause who doesn't like a green bean casserole? and ya really can't screw it up. If you can read that is. And the other beauty part is you can use all store brand el cheapo ingredients and no one will be the wiser... cross my heart... go cheap! Here is what I recommend....


Gather up your store brand or name brand canned delicacies; Green Beans ( 2 cans - I like the cut variety) Cream of Mushroom Soup (1-can), Worcestershire Sauce (1/2 tsp.), Black Pepper (1/2 tsp.), Milk (1 cup) and French fried onion goodness (1 1/3 cup divided). BTW... I doubled all of this. Call your inner Mama June and Honey Boo Boo and open up dem cans... And here's my fancy kitchen tip of the day. Get one of these battery operated can openers that you start by touching the button and walk away. It opens the can for you and you can go sip on your wine do other stuff. Also it cuts the whole top off the can so no sharp edges. It's a good thing. Drain your beans and mix up your soup and milk with a sweet little wire whisk, till it's nice and smooth. & creamy 

Next up combine your green beans and milk/soup mixture in your casserole dish, add in the Worcestershire, pepper and 1/2 the onions and mix it up really well. Pop it in the oven and bake until bubbly. 


Take it back out, put some more french fried onions on and pop it back in till those crunchy little onions are even more brown and crispy. And here is what you end up with a mere hour and 15 minutes later... when you should be sleeping. 


Let this be a lesson to all of you. Don't try to sneak in a glass or two of wine while your kid is at her brownie meeting. You will be punished ....

What's your favorite throw it together dish for the holidays?

A Tattoo & A Turkey.... Thanksgiving Ink

on
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Cute jewelry and tiny heart tattoos accessorize

So.... at the end of this week I am heading to MI to spend the get out yo fat pants Thanksgiving holiday with my family. Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister-in-Law, 2 nephews and assorted others. That's a 12 hour drive folks with 3 kids and a dog in case ya didn't know. We break it up in two though so it's not too bad. We actually have a lot of fun and it is pretty low stress and we try to make it an adventure of sorts. As much of an adventure as one can have bee-lining straight up I-75  for 735 miles and 5 states. I like everything road trips most when I am in charge. My ex and I used to disagree about every aspect of road trips... when to stop, where to stop, what to eat, how to drive.... which made them pretty much unbearable. Except that he would drive which I do miss... nothin like being driven. I digress.

I can't believe this is on here! I totally drew mine and low and behold its been done, slightly disappointed but still has my meaning
I love this combo of the arrow and the infinity.


This post is really about a Christmas gift from my Mom. She asked me what something small I wanted within reason and I said "how about a tattoo?" That's normal right? Let me back up... she already has 3... that I know of so in this one instance my 75 year old Mom is way the hell cooler  than me. Backing up further... she got them all within the last 5 years... BOOM. Uh huh... I know. I love it. My older brother on the other hand is horrified... he's the more conservative in the bunch as far as looks go. He just shakes his head... it's funny. 



I have wanted a tattoo for years I have just chickened out or been too drunk every damn time. There were a lot of weekends in Panama City Beach when I was a poor student at FSU that I said I was gonna do it and I didn't. And that one weekend in Nashville, but no one ever wants to do it with me. And I want a girlfriend to do it with me. But it's on my bucket list for this year and the clock is ticking on 2013. So... looks like it's going to be me and dear old Mom... paying the bill that is! So ya'll need to help me decide what to get. The "Let Go" above is what I originally planned to get on the inner right wrist. I probably won't give a flying unicorn what any of you say and do what I feel in the moment but.... I still love solicited advice. If you want to see what else I like/want check out my Baby Tats/Art boards on Pinterest.

My infinity tattoo the possibilities are endless

So here are my top choices and to be completely honest I plan on getting all of them in some form or fashion, just not sure in what order but here's why.... Oh And the first one (whatever it is) is definitely going on my inner wrist... but I also like the inside of the finger a lot too...



Hearts - I just love anything in the shape of a heart. I have a large collection of heart shaped things so it's just an obvious choice to me. And of course the symbolism of the heart, I am still a romantic even after all my failed attempts. Womp, womp.

Infinity - Again I love the shape but the symbolism to me is unending possibilities. Opportunities are endless and without boundaries. Anything is possible I guess. Right?

Arrows  -This one is twofold. Being an FSU alum it is one the symbols associated with our mascot and school spirit. I really love my Alma Mater, my years there were truly some of the most inebriated happiest of my life. Part two is that an arrow has to be pulled back in order to go forward... and Lord knows I can relate to this. Hello!!! I'm ready to go forward... anyone hear me??

The words "let go" because I have always struggled with this very concept. Knowing when to let go, what to let go of and how to do it. It's a reminder.

Soooo... tell me what you think?

Unless you think tattoos are the mark of the beast, then please ....shut thy Dorito chute:)