The Day of Humping & Confessing

on
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Vodka and Soda

Well dear hearts it is upon us again the dreaded day where we all confess our deepest darkest truths to none other than Kathy...  oh and a bajillion other nosey B's out there.

I am going to confess all of the ugly stuff first. As you all know by now I had a super fun weekend and there was a wee bit of imbibing involved. I may have had a bit to much to drink on Saturday resulting in the dreaded post 40 hangover on Sunday. On  a positive not I did not indulge the beast and lay in bed all day on Sunday. I got up and went and played two sets of loser clown tennis in the 85 degree GA heat.  And lost. And then I took my kids to dinner cause Mommy needed grease, ya know for the hangover... And I ate something that pretty much looked like this.


And let me just tell you how fucking amazing it was. Onion rings on your burger are not bad, not bad at all. Been craving it and got it out of the way. And it made me feel like this...


In other confessional type news and believe me, the irony of putting this number 2 after the burger is not lost on me, my scale is going in the wrong direction. Or not moving at all. And it's really pissing me off because I am planning and counting my cheats, working out about 5 days a week and eating probably about 95% paleo/clean. So WHAT. THE. FUCK. I am getting the same results now as I was getting on a steady diet of grilled cheese and white wine and no working out 6 mos ago. I lost 11 pounds in the first like 3 weeks  and pretty much nothing for the last 3 ish. To say I am frustrated is a huge understatement.

I confess that I think I am officially that old person who can only lose weight if they don't ever cheat. As in my metabolism is slower than a week in jail. I hate it and it makes me want to do something drastic.


And then it's summer time and everyone is wearing cute clothes and I am just not thrilled with my progress and when I look at you all in your cute clothes I want to kill you or at least flip you off.


There is a new show starting on A&E this summer that I am pretty sure is going to be a favorite of mine... Big Smo  - The King of Hick-Hop. Kinda like a male adult version of Honey Boo Boo as a rapper. This has Amy written all over it. Apparently he got famous working the Mud Bog Circuit. Yes, it's a thing. Check it out....




I met a friend for a walk on the Greenway last night and when we got exactly 2 miles (the half way point) from our cars a Monsoon from hell landed on us... so we finished the last 2 miles in the pouring rain and wind, surrounded by trees, a creek and lots of lightening. It was Oh so fun!



And I was too lazy to stay up and write this post last night so I think I am going to confess that my brain is fried cause for some reason I woke up at 3:00 a.m. and stayed up for like an hour. So here's some other random funny shit that I found because I think we could all use a mid week chuckle.

Poor girl... lucky guy....


And this is just excellent timing...



I have this friend who takes a LOT of selfies. And they are bad, I mean like awful. And I don't know how to tell her.... awkward


And now that summer is officially upon us I am officially sick to death of all of the "look at my beautiful vacation, I'm so blessed" posts on FB. My vacation just may be at the mud bog so spare me the details of your beautiful beaches in the Bahamas. Mmmmkay??? Oh and while we are at it enough with the "look how gorgeous my kids are" posts too. Your kids are ugly. Shut up.

image

I know it's not politically correct but I find little people funny. Like this....


And anyone that comes at me today with anything, well I am not feeling it. Just so you know. 



Buh Bye.

13 comments on "The Day of Humping & Confessing"
  1. omg I want that burger like NOW! Stupid eating challenge I'm on.

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  2. I was doing so well reading this and then I saw the girl face dive into that guys crotch and hope was lost. I just wanted to scroll through all your gifs haha

    are your clothes fitting any better even if the scale isnt moving? Ive been stuck at the same weight but my clothes fit better so you know youre making progress.

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  3. I know what you mean about your metabolism. I got on a scale and had gained two lbs after a week of torturous exercise. So frustrating!!!

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  4. Oh that burger. That burger looks amazing. The cheese, the onion rings... oof. I want it!

    That baseball butt gif just made me laugh out loud in my cube at work :) Thanks for the chuckle!

    ReplyDelete
  5. bahbhahha "my metabolism is slower than a week in jail" I just laughed out loud at my desk!! I have the same damn issue, thirty has given me an ugly slap in the face. And the baseball gif and the "your kids are ugly" good lord I love it all. Can you do it again tomorrow too please. God I needed a good laugh!

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  6. Hey Amy!!! I am going in circles with my weight!! I think I am going to live off watermelon from not on haha!! A good indulgence is good every now and then, bc girl that burger looks good lol!! When I see a skinny girl in cute clothes I get the exact same way.. I get the stare of death in my eyes lol!! Great post Amy!! XOXOX :)

    Lisa,xo
    http://chiclittlethrills.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  7. So with you on the metabolism, but I will always post awesome photos of wherever I am, sorry people who are not there.

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  8. Sigh my metabolism has slowed down too. Sad sad days lol

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  9. you might be hitting a plateau. also, age. it sucks and fuck mother nature. it takes us twice as long and we have to work out twice as hard to get the bodies that those young bitches can get with 2 jumping jacks and a salad. whores.

    so you keep doing your thang; it took me nearly TEN MONTHS to finally see significant results when it would have taken me 2 and a half-assed workout back in my 20s.

    thanks for linking up!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

    ReplyDelete
  10. I used to have an INSANE metabolism... now... pffft.

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  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. These always crack me right the hell up! And yes to them all . . . especially the fact that over 40 dieting sucks. Let's just drink, mmmkay?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Omg tellll me about it. I'm so with you on the whole fitness ordeal. I can't cheat at all and have to workout all day everyday to lose weight. Not fair. I have the world's worst metabolism. My sister can seriously workout for a week and lose like 5lbs. Grrrr.

    ReplyDelete

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