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Raging Humpday Confessions

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Vodka and Soda

Humping along with Kathy because duh... 

I confess today I am filled with a teeny tiny bit of  RAGE .... not trying to scare anyone or anything. When I say rage I don't mean that I would actually act on said rage but nonetheless it's there. I stayed home on Sunday and watched a Snapped marathon and I confess... I can seriously relate to all those crazee biotches who just decide enough is enough and take matters into their own hands. 

You see, I have one of those "people" in my life much like the ladies on Snapped. And every time I think I am about to get ahead... WHAM... something happens that makes me want to scream in frustration. Or throw something... or someone. And it's usually because of some asinine thing he has done. 

And I also want to have giant temper tantrums and stomp my feet and pound sand and just generally act a fool . 

My ex-douche-bag has left me in such a giant financial nightmare that I have actually been considering just filing for bankruptcy and starting over. But guess what?? It cost like $2-$3,000 to file for bankruptcy. WHAT. THE. FUCK. 

Bankruptcy lawyers... if I can get a divorce by myself I am pretty sure I can do this by myself too. Why would I pay a bunch of money to tell a bunch of  people I don't have a bunch of money. Huh. HUH????

On a positive note there is a new season of Teen Mom on and I watch at least in part to  feel better about my life. Like this touching moment during their pregnancy photo shoot where the theme was let's throw paint all over each other. This just makes me laugh... hysterically.  Thanks Janelle.

Ahhhhh... I feel better now. Happy Humpday!

Toothless Lunch Dates & Ballet Flats

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

So I went on a date yesterday, a lunch date. Haven't been on a date in awhile, a few months probably. I mean with someone new anyway... the stand-bys don't count for the purposes of this post. I guess at the beginning of the summer I thought it wise to un-hide the old POF profile (that's Plenty of Fish sticks for all of you non-singletons, a dating website) in search of some summer romance. Why oh why do I even bother??? I swear to God the quality of single men out there is on a serious decline. Also I could be just getting less and less interested in wasting my time with someone I know pretty much instantly I have no connection with. You see, in the beginning, when I was newly single it was all so exciting after being married to the same tired schlep for so many years. Even the bad ones had some redeeming qualities just because they were not "him". I am sooooo past that. The bad ones are just bad, period. 

But yesterday was a good date for the most part, it was just missing one little thing... a tooth. Yes, I need some dental work but no, it wasn't mine. He had a lot of the qualities I am looking for in a guy... job, friends, hobbies, a boat, 2 motorcycles, a home... sounds good right? What he didn't have was 1 tooth. In the front, just to the right of the big tooth position. Picture me with my head cocked to the left looking like "wait...what?" periodically throughout our lunch. How do you get to that point that it's ok to go on a first date missing one tooth? Am I overreacting because this seems like the need for emergency dental surgery to me, not lets plan a first date. Maybe he never had that tooth to begin with. Maybe he got in a bar fight. Maybe teeth are just not high on his list of priorities??? 

Aside from the tooth, he was nice and he bought me a nice lunch. He can cook and he seems like an involved, good Dad. And again, he's gainfully employed a real bonus if you know my story. And then there is the boat, how I do miss the lake life.  I didn't really feel a huge chemistry spark but I could have been just too focused on the lack of tooth. He did also mention that he makes quite a good living and he really doesn't even work at all which, call me crazy, makes me irrationally Stabby McStabberson when I work my ass off and have $75 in my checking account until Friday. Why do people bring that shit up either???  Ugh... I give up. Again.

On a super exciting decidedly not stabby note, how about some free shooz!!!! That's right I have another giveaway for you today courtesy of one of my most favorite ladies in blogland Amanda and her barre crew, which I am honored to be a part of this month! So check it out and get yourself entered to win a gorgeous pair of the hottest ballet flats around... Teiks. They come in all sorts of fun colors and have the pretty little turquoise sole and ... they fold up so if you are like me and you carry a ginormous bag full of your shiz you can stash a pair in there for later!
Brought to you by 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Have a great day everybody and don't neglect your dental health!!!

Concert Weekending and a Giveaway...

Monday, July 28, 2014

I don't even know where to start with the wrap up this weekend. Hmmm... well,  the concert. Luke Bryan, Lee Brice and Cole Swindell to be exact. It was awesome!!! As you can see from my photos I wasn't very close to the action but as I always say... WHO CARES... I was there! We had so much fun and the music was absolutely amazing. These boys can sing, my throat hurt on Saturday from singing along with them for 4 hours as well! I took about 100 photos and videos but I am going to just do my best to give you the highlights. From the packed car full of girls, to the tailgate, to the big show... here ya go!!!

One of my favorite pics of the girls...

As always I am fascinated and enthralled with the set design and how beautiful and moving it is as it just seems to fit each song. This chandelier montage was a favorite from this show.

They all worked the crowd and Luke even grabbed peoples phones and randomly snapped selfies throughout the night. The girls were dying over this!!! Who am I kidding, I would have died.

And it wouldn't be a concert without my obligatory crowd photo... it was a perfect GA summer night.

Checking another one off the list on my "summer of Amy" to do's.

Oh yeah.....and also if you need some extra spending cash, like $130 on a visa gift card, check out this awesome giveaway I am super excited to be a part of! Another awesome Amy is a having a birthday so check her out and say Happy Birthday over at The Farmer's Wife cause we are all celebrating along with her!!!

SO, go ahead and get entered.
There are lots of lovely ladies to follow here:

Linking up with some of my other favorite pretty ladies, Biana and Meghan.


Friday Faves

Friday, July 25, 2014

Well we made it through another week, a short one for me cause I am outta here at noon today so I can go get my tailgate on early for the big show tonight.  So let's go with that... first up in tailgating favorites... Linking up with Amanda as alaways!

I know that's right!!!!

Tailgating... whether it's sports or concerts I am all about the pre-gaming!! To me it's part of the whole experience to get there early, eat, drink and pre-bash with the crowd. I hope my next husband agrees cause I am going to make him buy me one of these... how sweet would that be?

And if you don't want to be that fancy did you know that you can get a grill that attaches directly to your trailer hitch on your tailgate??? This is going on my wish list for hubby number 2 also. For the smaller tailgate parties.

Or how about this because there is never enough room for all of the giant coolers. Just have one built in to your vehicle. Genius!!!

One of many other favorite aspects of tailgating/pre-gaming is obviously the people watching. Cause drunk people make for good entertainment before the entertainment.

Dizzy bat in a parking lot... always a great idea...

And you really can't tailgate without funneling...


And cops...


And High Fives!!!


A lot of people just plain can't hold their alcohol so there is a lot of falling down spectating... which I love.

Beer pong is huge too, apparently you can get any kind of beer pong table imaginable... even the rebel  flag. Only in the south...

But you really just can't beat the people you meet....

That's it for me today. 


Everybody have a great weekend!!!

He Gave Me a Cucumber....

Thursday, July 24, 2014

One of the guys I work with lives on a farm and has horses and apparently grows vegetables. Who knew. Anyway, he gave me a cucumber (no, not just me, he brought in a box of them for the office) and like any good foodie I immediately thought hmmm... what fun thing can I make with this? A simple summer salad seemed the way to go so today you are getting the recipe for one of my old standbys. This one pretty much goes with everything and often times you have the ingredients on hand and can throw it together very quickly... BONUS!!! Oh yeah, and its deelish!!!

What you will need:

1/2 a large Red Onion
1/2 a large Cucumber
1 can sweet corn drained
2 Roma Tomatoes
A couple of tablespoons of mayo
Sea Salt & Fresh Cracked Pepper

What to do:

De-seed your tomatoes and cucumber cause it's not good with a whole buncha seeds in your salad. 
Chop all of your fresh veggies to a med. to fine dice so everything is about the size of your corn kernels or so. Mix it all together and add in your mayo, salt and pepper. (I just add in a very small amount at a time, it's really just to hold it all together a little.) I like to let it sit for about 15 minutes but you don't have to... and BOOM... you're done. Eat up!

Literally, you could vary this a million different ways but it's a super fresh, cool, go to summer salad with burgers, chicken, salmon... anything you might want to throw on the grill would be great with this. And if you don't like mayo, EVOO and a nice light white or red wine vinegar would work too. I made it with some blue cheese burgers and a little sea-breeze cocktail last night. Hope you like!

Linking up for Little Friday with Ash today!!

The Grits Blog

Humpday Confessionzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Vodka and Soda

I just can't let Wednesday get by me without a little confessional with Kathy!!

To all the General Contractors who email me asking me questions about what's included in the proposal I just sent you... read the fucking proposal I just sent you!!! I itemize it line by line so it is clear to the average moron like yourself. Stop huffing...

My ex and I have been getting along really well lately but his lack of paying child support is the main cause of all... ALL... of my anxiety. It makes me so angry when I let myself think about it and being angry all the time sucks major balls. I said ugly things about it last night in front of my kids and I feel like a real piece of shit. But... oh well.

I haven't cut my hair in a little over a year and I made an appointment yesterday with my girl for next week. I am super psyched to cut some off and freshen it up a little. I already also feel guilty about spending the money on myself. But I am really starting to feel like this all of the time...

The last 10 men I have met/gone out with have or are boring me to tears. What is wrong with you people??? I mean it seems that personality is really hard to come by these days. Plus I think I am just too preoccupied with my life which makes me flat out ignore the boring ones.

And a side note to that one... single men my age don't really ask women out on dates anymore... at all. They just say stupid shit like "when am I going to meet you"? I think they think that since we are older we should just skip right ahead to the other stuff.  Remember the pilot? He's still asking me that via the occasional random text. Younger single men however, do ask women out on dates. Tough break old farts....

I bought mulch last night ... 3 bags... and made my kids do some gardening. They need to do more work around the house I have decided. Unfortunately for them that means about another 10 bags of mulch to go. But it sure does look pretty!

I got some free clothing from a really cool website and I need to write a blog post review... complete with pics of me in the clothes. Eeeek!! I am no fashion blogger and this is really stressing me out. I actually have to ask some one to take pics of me too... shit's gettin real. But FREE cute new outfit so YAY!!!!

And last but not least I am irrationally over excited that they are building a brand new Taco Bell  a mile from my house, next to my QuikTrip and my favorite Grocery store and across the street from my favorite liquor store. I guess Karma's only a bitch if you are:)

3 More Days....

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

...Till I get to feast my dirty old lady eyeballs on these 3 hot young men. That's right... Friday I will be Chillin It with Cole after a Parking Lot Party with Lee hoping that Luke will Take My Drunk Ass Home. See what I did there?

This will be the third installment in my 2014 Summer Concert Whore Tour and hopefully not my last  because there are a few more on my list. I'm looking at you Keith. One of the best things I did this summer was to actually plan shit and follow through on it. There are 2 (yes truly really 2) more weeks until my kids go back to school and I have had some fun!! Blogging in a weird way keeps me accountable too and forces me to actually follow through when I say I am going to go somewhere or do something. I love that about this gig cause I can be a bit of a procrastinator...

This typically sums me up except I am definitely getting better and my "somedays" are getting a little more regular. So for the rest of this week I get to think about planning the perfect tailgate for 2 moms and 5 teenage girls... yes that is not a typo. All I know for sure is what the moms will be drinking, beer punch. See when it comes to the important stuff I do not procrastinate at all.

What have you done this summer that you set out to do?

Rainy Weekending

Monday, July 21, 2014

Rain, rain, rain... that's what we saw a lot of here in GA all weekend long. Oh, there was a break in the action on Sunday. Long enough for me to get my rained out Saturday play-off tennis match in and watch my team fall like dominoes... line by line down in flames. My partner and I sealed the deal with our 3 set loss to a team we definitely should have beaten. Disappointing but now we get to plan our post season bash and y'all know how I love to plan a party!

So as for my weekend, if you look at my pics it looks like all I did was eat. Not true, I also drank. Kidding, sort of, not really. I finally got my Burger Fi burger in Friday night with my boy. And even he was like "Mom, please no pictures, let's eat" as we commenced to face-stuffing. Just for the record the cheese sauce was his idea and overkill but in a good way. We left happily stuffed and drove home in comatose, blissful silence.

Saturday since it pretty much rained all damn day I got to unpacking my house and setting things right. It's amazing how awesome your house can look when it is virtually empty. Like that model home look that we all covet. Not everything is going back the way was. Some stuff is getting trashed or Good Willed... feeling the need to simplify and de-clutter. More to come on that. But moving and unpacking shit is a lot of work... instant gratification though. Gotta love that.

I talked about this recipe on Friday for Cilantro Lime Chicken which I threw in the crock pot late Saturday for 4 hours and it turned out Ah-mazing. Sorry no after pics but here is what it looked like going in. Four hours on high later and I had a crockpot full of Mexi shredded chicken goodness. I threw in half of a huge vidalia onion chopped as well because I needed to use it up. We've been eating on it for 2 days now with chips kind of like chicken nachos. Will def make again! The cilantro and lime really make it taste fresh and light!

And after not being in my own kitchen for 10 days I was in the mood for more cooking yesterday post tennis smackdown. I have a regular craving for deviled eggs and this one is my standby for an easy protein snack or small meal. Fresh horseradish, a tiny bit of mayo, chopped bread and butter pickles (from my neighbors garden) seasalt and cracked pepper. Soooo yummy, easy and pretty healthy as far as snacks go.

And last but not least one of our favorite summer treats with a twist. Kind of like a cross between a strawberry shortcake and a strawberry pie. My kids love those cheap little spongey cake things you can by in the grocery store but who the hell knows what's in them? So I came up with something better, cause who does not love a graham cracker crust? First up slice up your berries and sprinkle them with a little sugar and stir up and let sit for 5 min to get the juices flowing i.e. macerate is the fancy cooking term. Crush up your grahams and put them in a bowl (or keep the pre-crushed ones on hand) add a little sugar, cinnamon, lemon zest, vanilla... whatever flavoring you like and mix with a little melted butter or coconut oil just to moisten so they are not like sawdust. Get out some pretty little bowls or glasses if you want to layer them up fancy and impress yo friends and assemble. Crumbs, fruit, whipped cream and some more crumbs for good measure. This works with any fruit at all and you can throw in whatever else you like. My kids love it and I think it's a great alternative to a less healthy dessert and gets them eating a bit more fresh fruit! And it's pretty!
Linking up with Biana and Meghan again! Happy Monday!