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Friday Favorites & A Give Away!!!

on
Friday, May 30, 2014
Meet At The Barre

Time for my weekly favorites wrap up and some totally random shee-ahhht with that beautiful barre girl Amanda... 

I actually have some tangible items for you this week that I am really digging on and they all came from one of my favorite stores... where it turns out they discount even further online and ship free to your door!

First Vaseline Spray & Go Lotion... seriously y'all. I am digging this stuff . I have the Cocoa Radiant and I love it, it smells kind of chocolaty. If you are like me and you need the moisture but you can't stand the heavy feel of regular lotions try this, you will love it. It drys super quick and you can get dressed or jumped into bed immediately and not feel all sweaty. Win, win.


Ok it's not what you are thinking... at least I don't use it for that 99.9% of the time. (It does also work well for the chub rub) This is hands down the best make-up primer around if you like the silicone based variety. I used to spend $35 a bottle for the fancy Smashbox stuff until I read about this on the interwebz and sold!!! It's like $5.99 at www.walmart.com and if you read the ingredient list it's pretty much the exact same thing. Word. It will make your face smooth as ... something... and your makeup last all day. Get it. 


I am a huge fan of self-tanner and if you are too then you need a good sugar scrub. You have got to exfoliate the old glow and make room for the new. This stuff smells so good you are going to want to eat it. It's cheap... $5.98 and the best part aside from the scent is that it doesn't feel like you are navigating the Exxon Valdez oil spill trying to get out of your shower. I hate that... I am old, I don't want to break a hip in the shower trying to loofah myself. This is slightly moisturizing but really truly a scrub. 

That's it for my little product love segment. On to the real business at hand. 
I have so much cooking to do this weekend I am really having to be super organized and plan everything to the minute to pull it off. But I am really good at that because...


See what I mean...


This really happens, I work with all men. 



And they always think they are barbecue geniuses... Nope.


Good job there hot stuff...


Today at work we are having cake and people lose their shit at the mention of free food. 
Like this...

at work funny gif

Do you have this irrational fear? Or apparently it could happen. 

car park fail falls in hole gif

And last but not least just a few random funny (to me) texts and such that I got this week:

Guess who showed up in my Insta feed bright and early this morning??? If you don't know who this is please looka here. And yes... yes it is the exact same selfie. I will pause while you experience speechlessness. 
(again I had to pixelate him for privacy cause every pic he damn takes looks the same)
Word.


There is a back story to this one about an unhappy C-word girl but the bit of advice at the end is the important part. Here is the gif in case you can't really see it...



And some people men from online dating sites try so hard to be funny and they just wind up looking like completely sketchy lunatics, raising my level of creepedoutedness to an all time high. 


Yes, yes he did just make a joke about chloroform, rags and crashing in my guest room.  Seriously girls you know I can't even write fiction this well.  

And last but not least a fabulous giveaway from Ashley at The Grits Blog. I have a whole bunch of Thirty-One bags because well, I love bags, and they are all awesome. Perfect time to win yourself a new thermal tote and discover some great new bloggers at the same time!



a Rafflecopter giveaway

And taking it back to my days of youth when U2 was the greatest band that ever lived and a song that Grooveshark picked for me this morning... hmmm is the Universe trying to tell me something? This is something I definitely need to hear and heed more often. So proceed to #backthatazzup with Whitney  slowly and with caution and ask for help when you need it.

You're Kinda Dumb... But You May Be Onto Something

on
Thursday, May 29, 2014

Time for another installment of Adventures in Online "Dating" if I could even call it that at this point because it's not really resulting in many dates.I have stopped even telling you guys when I schedule a date because they seem to always fall thru. Or go horribly awry. I may have a lunch date on Friday for drinks, his idea not mine. Day-drinking workday dates...wtf???? I said "may".  But I am still learning new things every day, things that continue to shock and awe me. Are you ready??? Don't panic... I'm not posting pictures of any one's junk or jack off videos or anything like that but I could. Cause ya know that is part of interwebz dating for a lot of guys nowadays... way over-sharing way too early. Trust me, it's a real honest to goodness thing. Back to my latest revelation.

So guys are constantly hounding me to connect on social media early on in the "process" and up until recently I have resisted vehemently. My excuse is that I use social media for family, friends, blogging (acceptable strangers) not creepy stalkers who may or may not think I would make a good lamp shade. Ok, I know I am being overly dramatic here but there was a Craig's list killer. Well, that was actually a prostitution thing  but you know what I'm saying, people are fricking whack out there.


 But then I started thinking... dun dun dun... maybe I should try it. Maybe these guys had a point. Maybe you could get to know some stranger better by stalking there FaceBook and lurking their Instagram. Maybe I was thinking about this the wrong way, after all you can always block and delete if shit goes south. Right? So there was this one guy, let's call him.... "I speak one word sentences guy". Wait that's a bit long, let's just go with Word. Word is probably reading this right now because after relentless hounding on Kik of all things cause he couldn't even commit to a phone number, I said "Fuck It, let's go all in" and friended his ass all over the place. Don't judge me I was bored. I am sure he was elated and likely proceeded to spend the next several hours researching my entire life history via social media. And let me just say I have a lot of history. I am an active person, lots of friends, social stuff, parties, sporting events, travel...I do it all. And then I decided to go look at his FB page. To learn about him. This is what I found. As best I could conjure up via screen shots on my phone. (I'm blurring this out for privacy but I think you see what I'm getting at)

Page after page after page of the exact same thing. Selfies with ballcaps, Atalanta Braves and UGA Bulldog pics, stats,scores and memes. His wall was play by play action of every game, every night. Live FB'ing if you will... is that even a thing? He said Twitter was dumb so guess he wasn't live tweeting like a normal person. Page after page after page. So maybe I  learned a valuable lesson here. Maybe sharing on social media isn't that bad. It took me all of 2 seconds to learn we are not a match. Not that I was really thinking we were, he was just persistent and a little dense. He just wouldn't let up lol so I will admit it was an experiment for me to see how it would go down. The funny thing is another guy just asked me the other day about FB and I completely avoided the question cause in the back of my mind I was thinking "FB is just going to ruin it for me". 

So the moral of the story guys is if you are gonna connect on FB (or any social media outlet) with a girl you want to impress you should maybe consider Catfishing that profile thing up a little bit. At least add some bogus content to make it look like you have a life or friends or something!

Next up... adventures in Skype... not naked Skypeing cause apparently that's a thing too... just Skype regular. If I ever get the nerve up to actually do that. On second thought... lol


It's a jungle out there!

Humpday Confessional

on
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Vodka and Soda


It's Wednesday... Faaaacckkkk!!! Normally I jump for joy as the day of humping with Kathy is upon us but I am starting to feel the panic set in as I prepare for my weekend of catering 2 events for about 75 hungry pieholes. I started shopping last night so I could get it all done in a calm and organized fashion... like Jared Leto only I won't drive the cart because it's too damn slow. 

(source)

I will likely look more like this chick but a lot less perky...

(source)

Why is she so happy about winning groceries anyway?  If I ever go on a game show I confess I want to win boats and cars and diamonds and shit like on the Price is Right. Like this B who won a car...


(source)

I confess sometimes I think about how funny it would be to go out in public and do something completely outrageous in a really mundane place like the grocery store like this... apparently it's a thing.


I confess my trash company keeps threatening to pick up my trash cans permanently  cause I occasionally pay my bill late. Maybe you should get with the new millennium Tony Soprano and offer online bill pay and this won't be a problem. Paying a bill with anymore than a mouse click is simply unacceptable. Plus you're getting my $5 late fee every quarter so what in the hell is your problem??? I know it's really my problem but still!!!

So as you all know I am always strapped for cash and I have to stretch every food dollar I spend. So I get a major culinary boner when I can think of a way not to waste food by making something new and/or unexpected and healthy. I freeze any and all fruit that is nearing the end of it's life span for smoothies but apples just don't freeze well. (Bananas are excellent by the way... don't ever throw them away. Peel and throw them in the freezer!) So ex-dumb dumb dropped of the kids last week with  a bag of golden delicious apples that none of us like. They sat there for a week getting soft and I was about to chunk them all last night when I thought what can I do with this rather than cause my Grandma to roll over in her grave as I dump perfectly good food into the trash or chuck it into the woods behind my house for the deer? Duh... cinnamon apples... and they are the fucking bomb diggety. I even put a big pile of them on my salad they were so good. I love using and not wasting, this was a winner!


Sorry folks... I got food and cooking and food shopping on the brain. Likely all week.

So I' think I'll leave you with that, 


Back at It... Whatever It Is...

on
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
First things first!!! I would like to direct your attention over to one of my favorite bloggers on the planet  Miss Ashley from The Grits Blog. She is on vacay at the beach  (drinking for me) and I am honored to be introducing the Grits fans to the crazy train and little old me! So hop on over there and check me out or check her out or whatever! And make sure you check back because she is going to have a great giveaway on Friday you won't want to miss!!

And so here we are at the end of a 3 day holiday weekend. I confess... I was lazy y'all and a bit too much of a party girl... dang it!!! I really hope I didn't screw up my challenge too badly but hey... I kind of sort of planned for the cheats so that makes it better right? No... not really... but I was good with the food part I just drank a little more wine/beers/shots than I should have. But it was fun!!!

Friday night it was time to get some good deals and I did a little shopping with my daughter and a friend. We needed gear for swim team and let me tell you that shit is expensive. Suits, caps and goggles... just like any other sports wear, you get what you pay for so it really does pay to spend the money on quality up front. So I got this app called Retail Me Not which you probably already know about cause I am always late to the party. But I got some great deals and even free food... Chips and guac and Chili's and A waffle at Waffle House!!! Download it now...


Saturday it was back for another tattoo this time a small free one by and adorable kid who's an apprentice at my favorite shop. So I got my lotus blossom... the flower that symbolizes fortune, purification cough cough and last but not least, rebirth. I need some fortune fo sho and am definitely experiencing rebirth here in my new and improved life so it just seemed fitting. No comment on the purification part.  


Saturday night it was out to see one of my favorite local bands, The Southern Accent Band,  at one of my favorite local hell hole's, The Coocoo's Nest... more like the third ring of hell I think. People just get bombed outta their minds at this place on the reg. I have had too many wasted weekends thanks to nights at this place. But it was a country band so a little more low key, until the end of course. I went with my usual suspects, my single pals and partners in crime. There were shots (my favorite the baby Guinness) and beers and dancing and music. I even came home with cash when I went to the bar with no cash, love it when that happens. Oh my... Sunday was just hanging at home, a little more shopping with the older two for their stuff and a special treat. I got to spend a lil time with one of my most favorite veterans who just happens to be home for a short hop from Iraq. He is the best person I have met online dating so far... that lives in another country. So I shipped the kiddoes outta here so we could grill and watch movies. I have talked about him here before and when ever he is in town there is fun to be had.  Except when he bumps into my ex-mother-in-law as he is leaving my house on Monday lol... awkward!!! But hilarious:) And she had the nerve to ask me who he was... ummm let's call him NUNYA!!!



All in all a super fun weekend even though I did not make it to the lake. My skin will thank me later! But there is a whole summer ahead of us for that!


Happy Memorial Day

on
Monday, May 26, 2014


Taking one more day off to relax with the family. Back tomorrow... till then remembering the sacrifices so many have made for my freedom and yours. God Bless our troops and God Bless the USA!

Enjoy...



                                                                             
                                                                           

Friday Favorites

on
Friday, May 23, 2014


Is everybody ready for the long Memorial Day weekend??? Cause I know I am!


First off I would like to say that this weeks edition of Friday Faves is brought to you by Moi via the wonderful Miss Amanda from Meet at the Barre and people all over creation who are falling for your pleasure. Behold. 

My favorite... falling senior citizens... Down by the valley where the green grass grows... uh oh...

Falling Grandma animated GIF


Falling Drunks... I think I'll go forward, nope backwards... and I wanna lay down...

drunk animated GIF

Falling models.... Stop! Child's Pose!!



Oh shit I'm late, can I cut... cuts? She gone.




And maybe I've been watching too much Gypsy Weddings...

But,  is it just me or do they look a little "special"???



Does anyone else but me peel their avocados? I am on a serious avocado kick right now and this is my favorite way not to waste a teensy bit of that delicious creamy goodness. Cut off the top and then just peel it with your fingers. If it's ripe it peels away really easily. Then just squeeze it in your hand until you are holding the pit and the majority of the avocado falls into your waiting bowl. Proceed to make your guac... ur welcome.



And my favorite new (to me) life hack... did you know if you put your phone in a glass or a bowl it becomes a speaker??? See the trifle bowl on my table??? It's my speaker... seriously sooo cool! And if you have a hard time waking up to your phone alarm put it in a glass on your bedside table. Brilliant.


Did you guys watch Andy Samberg on SNL last week. Favorite skit... a parody of the EDM craze and the love fans have for their DJ's like Avici. Please watch Andy doing "Davinci". I think it's hilarious but I have friends who love EDM and go to all the shows so I get it...



And because I have been in a very Lil' Jon mood lately let's #backthatazzup with Whitney and Get Low.

Get Low by Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz on Grooveshark

Oh and I almost forgot... don't forget about my giveaway with Amy @ Getz Girl on Fire  from Monday for $40 in Target cash  and in case you miss that one here is a link to Holly @ Where We Can Live Like Jack and Sally's giveaway for $50 in Target cash!!! Mo money, mo money, mo money! 

Have a great Memorial Weekend, God Bless the USA and God Bless our Troops!!!
Stay safe and see ya on the flip side! 

Building My Brand-ish-y Thing

on
Thursday, May 22, 2014

So here's what. I am always telling you guys how I need to make more bank and I am working on a few different strategies for that to actually happen. Unfortunately it means working my bahonkadonk a little harder than I currently am (cause someone who shall remain nameless is a selfish mofo). Now I can't run out and go get another job at night cause I got the three other little humans here that prefer me to be home at night so that's out. Plus I'm too lazy for that. Lazy like a fox actually! I know that's wrong but you'll see what I mean. I am one of those women folk that have done all sorts of side businesses while staying home with my kids in my former life. At times it was because we needed it at other times it was just for me to have "my own" money. Ugh... I cringe saying that. I sucked at direct sales because basically I would throw the parties and get drunk with my hostesses. No recruiting, no hard sell, no pushy business woman trying to build something. Just a bored Mom with little babies dying to get out and socialize... meh... who cares. I got what I needed out of these little ventures, they just really weren't my jam.

Food is my jam. I love cooking it and eating it. Several years ago I started up a little catering biz and had some success with it. It was just really bad timing. My life was a mess, my kids were still small and I was so stressed I was just exhausted all the time. I was also too nice, I gave shit away, mostly my time. Catering is tough to make money at because people don't really want to pay when they think I could make food myself I just don't have time or I'm not that creative.... riiiight. That's why you called me brilliantine, so pay up and stuff yo face!

Long story short, I am re-starting my catering biz with a twist. Well 2 twists actually. One is that I am cooking how I eat for the most part. Clean, healthy good food from the perimeter of the grocery store prettied up by me to make it look all fancy and taste like you will want to lick your plate clean. That's right I said lick it.Number two is that I am not a big fan of re-inventing the wheel here so I am sticking with the crazy theme cause currently... it's workin for me. And if crazy is my brand it seems to me that it could be applied to just about anything I might want to do. Sooo... good news. I have three gigs lined up for summer. This all fell into my lap because I opened my big wine hole and said sure... I can hook you up for food for your party. And then I woke up the next day and said what the eff did I say??? And then before I knew it I was all like "hey you want some of this too? How about you?" Bing bam boom... 3 gigs. Two of them are for my tennis teams, we serve lunch at all of our home matches for us and our opponents... 20 people. See how cute my menu came out??? Notice the "crazy" part... huh? huh?... look how clever I am !


So that's what I'm thinking about. Building something more and the possibilities are endless. I have so much more I want to do in the very near future I am just trying to pull it all together in my head. So this is part one... building my brand on a salad or two and some cupcakes. It could work!

Food for thought....
What do you think?


The Grits Blog

Wed Hump Confeshhhhh

on
Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Time for some spilling of the guts.... with Kathy so what are we waiting for???



I started a 30 day fitness challenge on Monday with Adie from Four Fit Sisters Blog and a group of ladies called the Summer Shredder. I am pretty sure I am already annoying the crap out of everyone around me and on Instagram by talking and posting about it. Aaaaand IDGAF. I am in my fitness Jesus mode so suck it. 


And by the way allof these plank type things are so hard but they just make you feel like such a badass. And no way in hell can I do that first one. Yet.


Guy from months ago... couch soldier.... texting me again and I am perplexed. I confess that I am only entertaining the idea of him because I think he'd be a cool friend to have. Like we have the same general views and attitude about things but I feel bad cause there is really no spark there. Hmmm but I may be able to get a nice restaurant dinner out if it.


Captain Hot Wings has his schedule for June and I confess I am pretty excited that he is only working 8 days next month. Maybe we finally get to spend some time together since he won't be in the cockpit. I just like saying cockpit...More on that later....


I confess this is my day, every damn day!!!