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Oh Hey Friday!

on
Friday, August 29, 2014

Because sometimes 5 is all I can do by Friday.... linking up with these 2 beauties. 

ONE - Ok so can we officially talk about all things fall now? This is Labor Day Weekend folks so we are officially transitioning from summer to fall and Pumpkin shit is everywhere! #PSL is officially a thing. But I'm a #DD girl so I am super excited about the addition of Pumpkin Iced Coffee to their line up this year. And also the return of the Pumpkin Pie Donut, just don't look at the filling while you're eating it. Close your eyes and enjoy.



TWO - I got 2 new fun things this week at Old Navy both of which are now on sale... RAGE. But now I can go back and get all of the other stuff I wanted cause they are having a killer sale this weekend and demand the difference for the regular price things I got the day before they went on sale. This is probably going to be my new fave. #jadore


And this I could not pass up because duh... Garnet and Gold. Perfect game day tank with leggings and boots.




THREE - Speaking of my beloved Noles, can you say ESPN Gameday???? Live form Dallas.
Sha-BANG!!!!! Lee Corso get your Seminole head dress  and your spear ready!!



FOUR - The Farm Tour is making two stops in GA. Hmmm... this is weighing heavily on my mind. I think I have to go. #lukebryan



FIVE - My first RocksBox is being delivered today and I can't wait to get my hands on this piece. I'm sure you will see it pop up on my IG feed this weekend.. all weekend.

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I am also linking up with Miss Amanda because these are all also my favorites right here and now. 

Happy Long Weekend Y'all!




Meet At The Barre

Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe

on
Thursday, August 28, 2014

So I had my big Dr.'s appointment yesterday and he said I was "boring". That was the best thing he has ever said to me. I am relatively, 100%, unequivocally  uninteresting to my cardiologist. I used to puzzle and perplex him because he could not figure out what was going on with me. I think I have told my heart splitting in half aka Aortic Dissection story here already so I will spare you all the details but suffice to say stress and anxiety are a whore faced bitch and a half. And they wreak havoc on your heart... body, mind and soul. But this post is not going to be a medical lesson, y'all can google your own shit like me, but seriously don't do that. I just walked out of that office yesterday feeling like a million bucks. And I still feel pretty damn good even though I've had to see the most hated person for two whole days now, the one that loves to try to eff up everyone else me in the office. 

Coincidentally Urban Dictionary word of the day... would ya looka hee-ah.....

Somebody who tells on everyone for everything. Sometimes nobody is doing anything wrong but a snitch bitch will make up something. Maybe because they want more attention, or they want to become popular, so they think its kool, or that's just who they are.
Person one: man, i can't go out.
Person two: what did you do?
Person one: nothing. I was doing backflips and stuff like that. next thing I know, my mom found out.

Person two: Really doe? who told on you? what a snitch bitch!


But I have been completely ignoring her all week. Like she's invisible ignoring her. (Thanks Kathy) And I love it, it's awesome to just blow by someone and not speak or make any kind of eye contact and laugh a little inside. 

And NCAA football kicks off tonight and we have a 3 day weekend and I'm not dying. Ok, I was never dying, just paranoid. It's like I'm walkin on sunshine. 

Lindsey you know I had to. 

Great Day to all.....

Humpday Confessions.... That time I got confused....

on
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Vodka and Soda

The other day I was scrolling thru IG and I came across this picture of this person and I was blown away. The eyes were just like mine. Then I realized it was my daughter's IG... duh they are essentially my eyes. My teenage daughter took a pic of her sister floating in the pool with her face out of the water. It totally freaked me out.


I was recently in a meeting with a "person" who said, and I quote... "I have never met anyone as smart as I am in my 57 years." And was dead serious.  I wanted to throat punch said person. 

I finally made one of the appointments that I have been putting off... with my cardiologist... stupid BP issues. I'm going today. I love this doc but I am afraid he is going to give me hell  for staying away so long. And not losing any weight since the last time I was there. Ugh. He won't but I am afraid he will. Irrational. I have two more appointments I still need to make to get all caught up on health stuff. I am always afraid that I will go in there feeling basically fine and they will tell me all sorts of things are horribly wrong with me. So I put off going. Dumb.

You don't realize how much noise one human can make and/or generate by their very presence until they take a vacation for a week and the office is virtually silent. And heavenly peaceful.

If I went to the Emmy's I like to think I would be this... 100% perfection


And not this.... head to toe FAIL


These people have stylists to dress them. What in the actual fuck happened here. The funny thing is it is the same concept... a statement skirt paired with a simple white top. Yet still so horrifically different. 

I haven't exercised in like a week and I feel insanely bad about it. Especially scrolling thru my Insta feed and seeing  shit like this. Some of the Fitness accounts are really starting to irritate. I mean I'm not a Navy Seal. 



And speaking of the Emmy's I didn't watch the VMA's either but I loved Katy Perry and Riff Raff (one of my faves) spoofing Brittney and Justin from way back. Sadly I am sure many viewers are too young to even remember that Brit and JT were once even a thing. But really who could forget this?


My birthday is 2 weeks away and I am seriously considering starting the month long celebration of my birth next Monday, the 1st of September. Because I can't pack in all the things I want to do to celebrate another year of survival in one day.

One of my fave Top Chef alums has a very well reviewed restaurant here in Atlanta and it is on my birthday to do for me list... Gunshow. But it ain't cheap.


He makes something with pork belly on the menu every night for God's sake. 


And he looks like Yukon Cornelius. Who I secretly kinda dig... a bearded, ginger who loves bacon. 


Happy Humpday Fools:)

Linking up with Kathy!

Lake Weekending

on
Monday, August 25, 2014
Weekending

Well here we are again. Monday. Blogging certainly does make me way more conscious of just how fast the days and weeks roll by around here. Do you notice that too? Another thing I noticed today when my alarm kept going off and I kept hitting snooze... the feeling of dread. Ok, maybe dread is too strong a word but I am starting to feel the way I did when I was at my last job. By late Sunday afternoon I would be a little pissed off and definitely not looking forward to Monday because of where I was going and what I was doing for work. I remembered that this morning and I don't like that feeling. It means it's time for change because life is too short to be spending 40 hours a week in a place that evokes even a twinge of dread. Just something to be aware of, not some thing I have to deal with today thank goodness.

Moving right along.... I did not have a highly productive weekend. But it was nice none the less. It started off with matte nails,  a really disappointing Chicago style pizza and a cute but mediocre movie, "Single Mom's Club". Every once in a blue moon I splurge on the expensive pizza joint around the corner that does an authentic deep dish Chicago style pie. It has the sauce on top with big chunks of tomato and really thick crust. My kids hate it so I get it when they are gone. It was really just meh.... I was totally bummed. It was still good enough to eat, I mean I was not about to cook on a Friday night with no kids and I personally think even bad pizza is still ok. However my Domino's thin crust it was not. My dog appreciated being able to share it with me though. Saturday was hot as balls at 10:00 in the morning for the little girls game. I was soaked by the time I got home around lunch time which led me to pour a big go cup of white wine on ice, pack and get my ass up to the lake with my girlfriends. Seriously it was too hot for a regularly chilled wine roadie. One of my friends has a ancient rustic little family cottage 10 minutes away so we had a one day/night getaway planned  for 6 of us. I managed to snap a few pics but most of the time I was in the lake so not many. We even got in some tipsy night swimming which was awesome cause it was still like a million degrees at midnight. Sunday all I did was laundry, a little picking up the house, napping cause I slept for shit on a 100 year old twin bed the night before. I finished off my weekend with some gourmet Hormel chili out of a can and drafted a pretty sweet Fantasy Football team.



Can I just tell you how excited I am for the up coming 3 day holiday weekend and 
Florida State Football?????

GO NOLES!


How was your weekend? Hope your pizza was better than mine!

Linking up with Biana and Meghan!

Friday Favorites

on
Friday, August 22, 2014
I am sooo happy that it's Friday!! This has been an irritating work week to say the least but, it's over. Time for a little Friday Faves with Amanda. We have our first pre-season football game tomorrow morning and after that I am heading to the lake for some much needed chill time with 8 of my best girlfriends. One of them has a little lake house about 5 minutes away and all we are going to do is eat, drink and float in the lake! So if you need me this is where I will be. Forecast is 94 and sunny so yeah... where else would I be?




Meet At The Barre


So on to the favorite funny stuff cause that's all I am in the mood for today because I have lake brain. 

Please, please, please don't get me wrong. I think the Ice Bucket Challenge has been an amazing vehicle for the support of ALS but the videos are getting out of control. I think some people may be losing sight of what the real purpose is. But... whenever people make videos... there will be FAILS.
Enjoy.

Not once, but twice the fail. 

Now this is an excellent use for a Styrofoam cooler. I love Rednecks. 

Newsflash... that's not a bucket. 

Again... not a bucket. Tubs are heavy people!!!! And that shirt??
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I love that the tosser finishes it off. 
Ice Bucket Pool Chair.gif


I am worried for this guy. Looks a little injured but good plan with the helmet. Props. 
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Hahahahahahahahaha.

Brilliant idea for filming yourself. Brilliant. 


Hope you all have a great weekend!

Humpday Confessions: Annoying Online Dating Things

on
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Vodka and Soda

I confess....I have been browsing Plenty of Fish again because I have not gone on any dates since the toothless guy.  So I once again, un-hid my profile. Some times I don't sleep well at night and reading peoples profiles and looking at their stupid pics provides some late night entertainment for me. Like last night.

Yes, I confess, I really only use it for entertainment at this point. But some of the shit I see over and over again really annoys me. So much so that I am seriously considering asking these men to elaborate on a few things that they all say... over and over and over again. Like:

I don't want any drama.  Really? How are women you meet dramatic? Do they slam doors? Huff and puff around? Strike a pose? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?????

No Liars. No Cheaters. No Games. Sometimes I say I'm busy when I'm not. I may or may not pad my Good Will receipts on my tax returns a bit. I am periodically addicted to Candy Crush. Shoot... I guess I'm out. 

Looking for My Best Friend/New Friends. I'm concerned that you have made it this far in life with no best friend and/or are looking to trade in the ones you have. What gives?

Be able to rock a ball cap and/or a little black dress. YOU be able to rock a ball cap and a little black dress, or come up with something more original to say... then we'll talk.

Looking for my last first date. Just shut up. Shut up shut up shut up.


And once again, just when I think I have seen it all something smacks me in the face. I give you the funeral profile pic....


Yes folks, with just a hint of coffin at the graveside over the poor kid's shoulder. I mean what the French is going on here? Do people take (smiling no less) pictures at funerals? Is that a thing? And if so, when did it seem like a good idea to put that on your online dating profile? And whose funeral is this because now my head is spinning with episodes of Snapped and 48 Hours Mystery.

Yesterday I got a message from a self proclaimed "redneck biker" inviting me over to "play in the mud, cook ribs and wings and drink cold Bud Lights" and spend the day at his house. In a town over 100 miles away. Well thanks taterhead1318 but did you just ask me to drive 105 miles ( I googled that shit) to spend the day at the home of a strange man that I have never met?  #thanksbutnothanks  Sorry, I couldn't even bring myself to post a picture of this one.

I confess... all of this makes me very happy to be single. Plus I know you guys eat this shit up. 

Linking up with Kathy

Happy Humpday.

#GUILTYTOTALSOCIAL

on
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Venus Trapped in Mars

It's that time again to get totally social with 2 of the leading ladies of  blog land Helene and Sarah. And who can't get behind this one... Guilty Pleasures. We all have them for sure. One of the cool things about getting older is that I have started feeling markedly less guilty about my guilty pleasures. Like things I would never have admitted to anyone 5 or 10 years ago I just don't really give a shit about telling anyone now. I don't know why but for whatever reason I give way less of a fuck than I used to. Sometimes I throw in the "don't judge me" but I really don't care. Judge away.....



1. Staying home and doing nothing. As in NO-things, nada, zip, just being generally pretty lazy. I probably talk about this too much but when I was married I never felt like I could take a minute off let alone a whole weekend. For me, being a stay-at-home Mom made me feel like whenever my husband was home I had to look busy. My own effed up perception. Now, I very rarely have a weekend with no kids and absolutely no commitments so when I do it's an all out slob fest. I am so on the go all the time there is something about coming home on Friday and not leaving until Monday morning that is just welcome to me once in awhile. I have one friend who loves to tell me to get up, get out, go do something ... to which I love saying "No, I don't want to". And nobody can tell me I have to!



2. Domino's Thin Crust Pizza with White Sauce - Seriously I am an addict. I discovered their thin crust/white sauce combo kinda by accident and I can pretty much eat a whole one with my daughter or maybe by myself in 2 days or with a really awful hangover. Seriously. It's like a cracker so it's not like eating a regular slice of pizza. And the white sauce... it's some kind of creamy, garlicky, buttery combination of I am sure thousands of chemicals that cause cancer, heart disease, lunacy... you name it. It has got to be bad but why does it taste so good???? Go order one now, I like it with Feta and Mushrooms and/or Spinach. Ur welcome.


3. Make-Up... In Particular the Glittery Smokey Eye. I guess I'm not sure if this is still a guilty pleasure because I have gotten it under control. I have successfully learned to avoid Sephora and Ulta unless I have completely run out of something I use daily. Sometimes I wonder if my eyes are even appropriate for day time but nothing gets my rocks off like a dark smoldering, smudgy eye with some glitter over top of it. So I indulge myself. If you don't like it, look away:)


4. Bravo - This one really makes me actually feel guilty because I can easily put Bravo on and watch other peoples lives unfold all day long. Neglecting my laundry, house cleaning, bill paying, grocery shopping and children. No problem... give me all the hair pulling and name calling. These women are so over the top it's hard to relate to their lives at all, so why can I not stop watching. And then there is Below Deck... ugh... how can I not watch a show about young, hot, single people travelling the globe working/drinking/partying on a charter yacht???


5. Tattooed Men on Instagram - I have a problem. I can't stop drooling over some of these guys. I look at their pictures like there are little birds flying around my head. I don't know what it is but the whole package just does it for me.  My faves are @tattooedjesus, @paulblake357 and @_tattedgingy_. Now, if I could only find one IRL.  I would straight up kill to show up at the neighborhood pool with one of these dudes.


6. Creme Horns - If you know me at all you know I am all about the frosting not the cake. I will scrape that shit off and shamelessly eat it, and yours too if you don't want it. So this little pastry is my jam times one million. Because the only thing I might like as much as sugary frosting is anything wrapped in pastry. No shame in my game, I can eat a few on a bad day. That's why I don't buy them. But if you ever want to cheer me up..... creme horns.

So those are just a handful of my guilty pleasures. Honorable mentions include but are not limited to.... Nachos, clean sheets, long hot showers, $2 flip flops in every color, Ruffles & French Onion Dip, stupid expensive Nike tennis dresses, sausage biscuits,  tattoos that no one knows about, Victoria's Secret Bras with all the bling, lace and bows, red wine in the wintertime, chili cheese fries, Nutella cheesecake, King Crab Legs cracked for me and dipped in butter, drinking on the beach, drinking in the pool, drinking on the lake, live music anywhere anytime, pumpkin spice anything, Brazilian waxing, buying fresh flowers, giant fountain drinks from QT or RaceTrac... like the stupid huge cups,  dating younger men, spending way too much time on IG and binge watching all the shows about people killing people on Discovery ID and Oxygen.
Hey, there are way worse things to be feeling guilty about!