And Then...My Life Got Flip-Turned Upside Down

on
Tuesday, April 5, 2016


Well hey there...I didn't really mean to take a blogging break but I did/am/might still be. I have just not wanted to sit down and write anything lately. I hate it when people say "I have a lot going on" as if someone else doesn't but... I have a lot going on.

I found out last week that my 2 year contract which I thought might actually be 3 is turning into 1. That's right, in about another month if I'm lucky to last that long, I'll be jobless once again. I was hired to work on a specific project and my company just pulled the plug on said project. I knew it was a possibility for about the last month or so but no one really thought it would happen. I am not sure the reality has totally sunk in yet. I'm sick over it to be honest with you. It has been a great job and all of the things I was looking for. But on the positive side I have gained some very valuable work experience and a number of new skills to add to my resume. Follow that with the fact that the job market is definitely better than last year and I should be fine. But I don't feel fine, I feel nervous, anxious, just generally awful. I wish for once I could just catch a tiny break. I am so tired of feeling like I take two steps forward and three steps back.

So I have been wallowing a bit in my self pity. Instead of blogging or doing anything constructive in the evenings, other than tennis, I am eating crap, drinking too much wine, laying around on the couch like a sloth watching Netflix and Prime because I can. And guess what? I don't really feel any better. And I know none of these things will make me feel better but I can't help it, I am in that mode where I don't want to deal with it. I want to crawl into bed and sleep for days with my dog curled up next to me. The irony of that is that I am so wound up right now I can't even manage to sleep through the night. I wake up at 3:00 a.m. and my head immediately starts with all of the thoughts... the worries. I hate that feeling when you just can't shut your brain off. Ugh.

I know in the big picture this is just another blip on the radar. But God Dammit I am tired of blips. I want smooth sailing for once. So this week is spring break, my kids are with their Dad and literally almost all of my friends are at the beach. I have some time to be quiet and just sit with all of this. Next week I will deal with it.


12 comments on "And Then...My Life Got Flip-Turned Upside Down"
  1. You need a break on the employment side. Inaction often paralyzes me and makes me worse and then I can't sleep either because I'm too tight. I've been in those places and it is not fun. Huge hugs my friend. I hope something comes along before the month is even out so your blip is small.

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  2. I hate to hear this :( Try and remain positive. Hopefully you will have something come along soon to put your mind at ease.

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  3. I hate this for you! I really do. It's just so stressful to worry about finding a new job . . . even if the prospects might be amazing and better than what you have! I will say a prayer that all is well . . . that you get a step up on the next job and it comes into your life sooner than later! It's okay to wallow a bit . . . but then get back up and tackle life. You got this girl!

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  4. oh shit, i am so sorry. hope something comes up soon so this blip is barely a bump.

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  5. Sorry doll. Life is seriously a bunch of fucked up situations that we have to power through.....but it's the easy street times that make it worth it, no matter how small. No matter what happens you'll be fine, and you know that. Now get off your ass and go workout! It ALWAYS helps with stress....Then you can drink more :)

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  6. Sorry doll. Life is seriously a bunch of fucked up situations that we have to power through.....but it's the easy street times that make it worth it, no matter how small. No matter what happens you'll be fine, and you know that. Now get off your ass and go workout! It ALWAYS helps with stress....Then you can drink more :)

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  7. Embrace the evenings of solitude to take care of yourself. You know what, I ain't gonna fault you for eating like crap or drinking lots of wine. It happens. Sending positive vibes your way!

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  8. I've always been a fan of the phrase, "This too shall pass". People say it to me a lot and then I yell at them for sounding like a fortune cookie but then when I calm down I try to say yes...this too will pass and a bright day will happen. I'm sorry about your job being cut short...I truly am. I hope you can take some time to just sit back and try again for something new. *hugs*

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  9. Hugs my friend. I am so sorry. Honestly that sucks but you know what? It will pass. I have faith that you will rise above this obstacle again1

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  10. It's very great to see your post!I like it .I'm looking forward to you in the

    nextpost.Thank you .There is a free date recovery to you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sorry to hear this friend! I hope it all works out for the best. I mean I usually want to stab someone when they say "everything happens for a reason" but hey - most of the time it works that way. Let's hope that's the case!

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  12. Wow, so thankful! I like your blog very much. By the way, you can choose some discount ray ban sunglasses here.

    ReplyDelete

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