TAKE ME TO BED OR LOSE ME FOREVER... Or Just Sponsor Me
If you are interested in sponsoring me I promise to shamelessly plug you all over social media like you are my new BFF. I will Snapchat the hell out of you all the live long day to make sure you are happy during your sponsorship. Just kidding. I will help you create a fake online dating profile so you can laugh along with me on POF and OkCupid. Not kidding. I will live to serve and ply you with wine and Fireball until you are deliriously drunk satisfied with your sponsorship. Now get on my level.