Friends with Benefits, A New Trend? I Think Not

Monday, March 19, 2012

So, I have really been pondering this one hard lately. This seems to be all the rage these days but I keep thinking to myself "Isn't this just what we used to call a booty call?". Let me expand on that a little. If you have read any of my blog you know I am getting a divorce finally, after living 2 years in the same house but completely separately... (bad idea... don't ever try that, just get divorced). So over the last 7 months I have been testing this theory that having a friend with benefits is really the way to go and can be the perfect solution for two people for a variety of different reasons. I know, I know... I'm not divorced yet officially... don't judge me. I recently turned 40 and I am feeling fabulous and frankly... in need of a man.

My "friend" is someone I have known for 10+ years. We used to all hang out in a group of married couples thru which we had mutual married couple friends. He is now divorced for 2 years. He and I always had a little mutual flirtation but never acted on it because for all intents and purposes we were both reasonably happy in our marriages. To make a long story short we lost touch over the years but reconnected last year thru... yep, you guessed it... CrackBook....aghhhhh... such a cliche I know.

After a short (I know, I know... I am sounding a tad slutty here...don't judge me) period of time we decided to give the new friends with benefits trend a test drive and see if it could work for us. Guess what? It sounds great in theory but I think this has been waaaaayyyyy over sold as a great new option to a traditional relationship. You have to decide if you are the kind of woman/man who can actually do it (pardon the pun) and just be friends, no emotions, no strings, no expectations, romantic hopes or hearts and flowers. I tried to be that girl but as time goes by I am pretty sure I am not. I'm not picking out china or doodling his name on my notebook or anything like that but it's a very confusing relationship that puts your heart and head at complete odds. Specifically, it's not natural for human beings, in my humble opinion. Don't get me wrong, parts of it are very nice. I do now have a real friend in him and there are some real benefits to that aside from sex, which is... well...damn good. Part of me wants to end it but just as much of me wants to keep it going. Could it be more? We both agreed from the beginning we would not go there for various reasons... just too complicated given our history. But what if we crossed paths for a reason?

Verdict is still out on this one. I will have to keep you all posted. I would love to know if anyone out there has experience or opinions on this one. Right now I am thinking it's really relationship limbo... an old fashioned booty call probably  a lot less trouble.

1 comment :