Sh*t Men Say - Human Cloning Edition

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Linking up with my homegirls Amanda & Danae for round 2 by popular demand.... it's

Sh*t Men Say

Yes, often what they say makes my delicate ears want to bleed too Brick. I get it.

Ahhhh where do I start with this one? Tar-Dar - I have it... radar for retards. I don't have a regular man to give me mountains of material here. No.... it's even better... I have hundreds, thousands even. Now just put your penicillin back in your pocket and pipe down. I'm talking about the men of the interwebz. The online dating pool of genetic mutations masquerading as men. I am starting to wonder if POF and aren't in fact top secret government experiments.... for cloning.

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Seriously, the government could be cloning humans and trying to see how they would assimilate into the real world by forcing them into online dating to see when and where their numerous fatal flaws pop up. Ok... helloooo CDC or FBI or CIA or whoever is running this thing... stop sicking your tardal wave of science fair projects on me!!!! Here is a sampling of the most recent tardacious gems I have heard from some of the "men" who want to gang bang date me. And these are direct, actual, word for word quotes I copied and pasted right from POF. (Notice the typos and incorrect grammar.)  I shit you not.

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"It is supposed to snow, it would be a good time to cuddle in front of a nice fire."
(rode on the tard-ark aka the short bus)

"Hi, I just red your profile. I think you and me could have a lot of fun together. I would love to meet you today, as yesterday was my birthday, and I taking this weekend off to go have some fun."
(this is tardacity - well since you  have to meet me today, by all means let's do this)

"And rapist/cheaters etc"

(tardan'half -this is how he described my beloved Seminoles. Insult my football team, yeah... that will go real far)

"What is your name?" 
"Whts your name :-)"
"Good morning
"You ready to go for tht bike ride"
"When we going out to dinner"
(tardariffic - this is five separate messages 5 days in a row from the same guy. I never responded once.)

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"Ha ha . I know it's being shady. I just got on this site and didn't want my ex finding out about it."
(Tardashian - because I am sure your ex has nothing better to do than to troll online dating sites to make sure you are not on them with a fake profile pic... yeah... ur so important )

"Lets talk don't have any more pics right now and the one in my profile is not the best either you sound interesting i would like to hear more"
(Tardasawrus - just that)

"my little girl is in the bath tub though. She's turning into a prune as we speak. actually she so small she looks more like a raisin."

(tardarse - please give me your number.... so I can call DFACS!!!!!!)

Just thought I'd say hi and see if you'd like to talk sometime, or if you're ever in the market for a tattoo let me know.

(Tarda Clause - Awww... he wants to give me something... that will be part of my body FOREVER)

Brick Tamland looks pret-ty fuck-in good dontcha think?

Voyage of the Mee Mee

**** I do apologize if the use of this politically incorrect word offends anyone. I am only using it because it really, really, really applies to men of online dating perfectly ****


  1. POF is something else. when my friend was on it, we had the best time laughing at all the dillholes messaging her.

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda

  2. Those 5 messages in a row are freaking creepy! I would only get on POF would be to have a good laugh at these idiots!

  3. wow....freaky and creepy. i'm glad i'm no longer single b/c all those dating sites are ridiculous. guys on there are douches. I love hearing the many "pick up lines" they come up. half which are stupid as hell.

  4. Great to know there are so many losers on POF, I hope I never need to date again. Especially the guy that "red" your profile, isn't read like a 3rd grade word?

  5. Love it! Seriously, if they are going to copy and paste the same message to many, many women, at least spell check it!!