Weekending Like A Slob

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

So I took my own advice on Saturday and stayed in bed for about half the day, maybe technically a little more. Well, actually I did get up to feed and water the dog, let him out and make some bulletproof coffee but then it was back to bed for both of us. We curled up and caught up on a few episodes of HOC but mostly I binged on Transparent because I am one hundo addicted to and in love with the story of the Pfefferman family. It felt good. Really good. It was an incredibly beautiful day outside too and for the first time in awhile I didn't feel even the slightest twinge of guilt about not getting up or leaving the house/bedroom/bed. My shutters were all closed and my room was nice and dark and cool. I was a starfish surrounded by tons of pillows and one lazy dog who likes downtime as much as I do.  I talked about that here last week and how important it is to schedule some down time and really practice the art of doing not a thing. My house did not get cleaned and laundry did not get done. And I don't currrr....

I did however eventually make it out of bed and out of the house to attend The PBR event in town last saturday night. That's Professional Bull Riding not Pabst Blue Ribbon. We have been talking about going for weeks and I thought it would be good to get out into the world so I did. It was great fun and great people watching. Bull riding is legit out of control danger and adrenaline. And the riders are teeny tiny little dudes who apparently have great big balls because bulls are really, really angry. There is no freaking way you could pay me to do that. It was worth getting out of bed for though.

Now for the best story of the weekend. If you don't follow me on snapchat then you did not hear about my Tinder brunch date this past Sunday. It was a doozy. Yes, I was bored one day recently and made a new Tinder profile. I never really gave that site a chance after all and I have been missing meeting new people. Well, I might just be over meeting new people after one date. My date and I met for brunch at a local Irish pub that is supposed to serve great food. It was meh... I really wanted to take some pics but thankfully I thought better of mentioning my blog. Remember what happened the last time I did that? I actually wrote a post about it that I later edited because the nut job started stalking me and my blog. But I digress... the date was odd at best. There are certain things I don't feel like are great topics for a first date i.e. religion, politics, abortion, you know light stuff like that no one ever feels passionate about. Welp apparently Mr. Tinder-man didn't get that memo. I'm not going to get specific because it doesn't matter but politically we could not have been further apart and that's a deal breaker for me. The annoying part is he assumed we were and made some ridiculous sweeping generalizations that made me want to laugh in his face. Why on earth would you do that on a date? But wait, there's more. I don't like gratuitous cutesy touching. Strike 2 (also within the first 10 minutes) he kept rubbing my feet with his under the table. When I mentioned "those are my feet" thinking maybe he thought they were part of the table or something, I got "I know" and a smile/wink face combo. Even if I was super attracted to a guy... No, just no. Aaaaand I am saving the best for last... he stole the glass that his drink came in, a whiskey snifter to be exact. It seems that he has 3 previously stolen at home and wanted a fourth to complete his set. He thought it was funny and exciting. I imagine my face went something like this when it finally clicked that he was in fact serious.

So yeah... we finished up, he paid and after a quick and light hug in the parking lot (so as not to break the snifter in his jacket pocket) I beat a hasty retreat. It wasn't horrible but honestly, I would have much rather spent Sunday morning lazing in the bed with my dog than where I was. He also proceeded to text me for the next hour trying to convince me to come over and hang out with him at his house. I can't make this stuff up guys.

The worst part was I really wanted to call the  one person who I love having brunch with the most and tell him all about it over a bloody Mary. But... we are in a weird place right now because men are weird. Ugh... the struggle is real my friends. On to the next Tinder disaster!


  1. ughhhhh what a weirdo! the feet thing really grosses me out. and of course talking about political stuff - or anything that heavy - when you first meet someone is never a good idea.

  2. Your description of bull riding and bull riders was spot on and cracked me up! And I saw your snaps this weekend - what a freaking freak show. Seriously. People are so weird.

  3. The bright side is that you get a good story out of it...the way guys act is always hit or miss lol! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

  4. Seriously......who steals a cup on a first date???? Wow. Morals. I would have beelined out of there as well!

  5. Please go on more Tinder dates. I'm sorry but I am laughing my ass off at the foot rubbing and the fucking glass stealing.

  6. I caught some of your snaps about the date this weekend and I was like oh girllllllll I wish I still lived there I would have totally met up with you afterwards to 1.make sure you were alive and ok because can we say creeper???and 2.laugh at the story because people are so ridiculous!!! Like why cant people be normal??? But, I am with Steph. I am gonna need you to go on more Tinder dates so you can tell me funny stories. I have a few online dating horror stories myself from back in the day...but this was before Tinder. Did I mention I met my husband online? So happy endings can come of those sites!