Fit To Fat To Fit
Thursday, May 2, 2019
Well hey there! I'm checking in with myself and with all of you as well since I am going to write some stuff here in this dusty old blog space of mine. So it's May 1st and 4 months of 2019 have passed us by. I just started my 7th round of Whole30 because quite frankly the last 3 months have been a free for all. I have been all out of sorts eating and drinking all the things, moving minimally and just generally being extremely unproductive in my health goals and health maintenance.
I did a January Whole30 and it sucked big donkey balls. I am pretty sure I was in a bad mood for the entire month and I couldn't wait for it to end. And when it did I immediately reverted back to Holiday-free-for-all Amy who still shows up every November like that one annoying relative who stays about two hours longer after the holiday party is officially over. Rude. But I did complete the January Whole30 by the book so there's that. I did not however, weigh myself so I am not sure how much weight I lost. I could tell I lost some but I decided that I didn't need the scale to measure the success of my January Whole30 or at all for that matter. I was wrong.
I got on the scale today, Day 1 of this round and as I suspected it told me quite a story. I think it actually cried a little too but that's not important. I know that a lot of people say throw out the scale, go by how you feel, your weight fluctuates every day anyway, you can be healthy at any weight and don't let the scale dictate how you feel about yourself, blah, blah, blah. But for me, when I don't get on the scale I can deny what is really happening to some extent. Ignorance is bliss right? Maybe I need to unbutton my pants because I dried them on high heat? Surely it has nothing to do with the nacho mountain that now resides on my posterior region. But seriously, getting on the scale is necessary. And I don't think you can be healthy at any weight as much as the anti-fat shamers would have us believe. Just go visit a nursing home and tell me how many old fat people you see there. You won't because there aren't any.
I say all of this to say, I got on the scale today and the number was really, reeeeeeallly ugly, but I didn't feel horrible. It doesn't define me. It was not a surprise and I don't hate myself. The scale did not dictate how I feel today. I have been making bad choices and I earned that number with every glass of wine, slice of pizza and piece of chocolate I crammed down my gullet for the last 3 months. But it is OK. I know that every second of every minute of every day that I am breathing is an opportunity for me to make a different choice and that is HUGE!! I also 100% know that in just a few short days of being on Whole30 I will start to feel markedly better. Since I won't be cheers-ing to anything else for awhile cheers to that!
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Girl, I feel you. I have avoided the scale the last few weeks because I dont hear what it has to say. I am thinking about counting WW points again, because I stuck with that longer and saw results. Ugh why does the healthy life have to be such a continuous battle?? I know you are going to rock Round 7!!! Get it girl!
ReplyDeleteOMG - same girl, same! When am I going to figure my shit out? Work in process for sure! You got this - I'm cheering you on!
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