Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Humpday Confessions - Flipping The Switch

So as per usual I did not get this shit done last night because... sick kid. So here we go better late than never. I think Kathy is still on vacay... if so... Hi Hooker... have a drink for me!!!

I Confess........

I want to scream every time I hear this...

"Got any pictures?"


I get asked this question possibly more than any other from men in the online dating world. It annoys the ever loving crap out of me especially the ones that say it at least once in every conversation. Because let's just be clear about the pictures you want. Boobs, ass, full body shot, anything sans clothing is would also be great I'm sure. So man up and just say it, don't make me dig to see how much of a sleaze you are, just own it.  Oh and also, be prepared to send me a dick pic first cause I am creating the world's first dick pic coffee table book for the single gal. It will be complete with a pop up at the happy ending and is going to be my ticket to financial freedom.  So chop chop... drop trou!!!



Non weekday drinking has thrown me into early senior citizenship. the way I see it is if I don't want to be tempted to drink wine or eat garbage the next best thing is climbing into bed with yoga pants and a ratty t-shirt and cozy-ing up with the remote and maybe a little candy crush. Like Shirlee. Saweeeet.... Level 2!!!!


Bills suck and Universe if you're listening can I let go of my ankles now??

So in the last week I had an $800 car repair and nearly broke my hand in a million places. Yesterday I came home from work turned on the gas to heat up the kettle for tea cause.... old lady... and guess what? NO GAS!!! Rage ensued cause I knew I had just paid the muther effing gas company and could not be that far behind but car repair hosed me and I guess I spaced it last week. I cut and pasted my bill for you all to see what  I owe Gas South and when I made my last payment. $103.99 are you kidding me right now? You're gonna disconnect for $103.99???? Who fucking does this??? No warning... I have all my statements via email but they didn't bother to send a notice of DISCONNECTION. Notice the next statement hasn't even come out yet. WHAT THE FUCK???

They said they can turn it back on next Monday at the earliest. This means cold showers for me and my 3 kids for days. THIS MEANS WAR. Fix it Gas South or...


This is really my life lol...

I confess sometimes I am really bad at keeping it all together. I really feel like I need to make drastic changes in my situation soon  to like flip a switch, you know what I mean? I was watching Below Deck season finale last night and one of the girls left the yacht with all of her earthly possessions in a wheel barrow. A wheel barrow. Now obviously I can't go that far with kids and a job but, it struck me and I was jealous. Jealous because I am drowning in stuff and things and bills for stuff that isn't necessary. I also saw this real estate blurb about a 2 bedroom condo for sale in Atlanta that I would kill for. It's across the street from one of the oldest and most famous bars in the city, Manuel's Tavern. My first thought was I could die happy here:) Just look... and talk about a 180 degree switch form suburban life. Obviously not practical with kids and all but it's got me thinking... about changes.














Thanks for stopping by and listening to me ramble. Have you ever done something completely crazy that changed your whole life? And made it better?

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Pizza Is Eternal....


Food for thought today....



I try very, very hard to keep this in mind, in fact it is most definitely my current and maybe forever mantra.  But dang.... every time I see a little glimpse of something or someone that may could possibly be something, some thing, some one, some opportunity, that I want or need it just disappears. I feel ready but maybe I'm not really. Till then there is always pizza, which as we all know is eternal. 

Since I didn't get to show you the scary pics of my injured paw yesterday I thought I would share today. This was Sunday morning so about 10 hours post splat..... it's HUGE!!!!! It's much better today but it still hurts like a muther if I move it or bend it the wrong way or like a normal finger/hand would work. I really think when it's wrapped with the ace bandage that it looks like a claw. The perfectly shaped lobstah claw to hold one pumpkin spice Oreo. Which by the way are my new favorite thing. See....


So Halloween is coming and I always fail miserably at the whole costume thing. Part of my problem is that I don't want to spend money, wear a mask, be uncomfortable, look weird, look ugly, you get the idea. So this year I am just jumping on the Zombie train and I got my Hoo-Rag yesterday so I can start putting this all together. 



Go check them out... they are the coolest seamless bandanna things around especially if you ride, hunt, fish, ski...  anything outdoors where you might wanna protect your face really.  I am going to add some scary dead looking  eyes that aren't too ugly cause like I said I don't do ugly. I am thinking this....



I don't have to spend any money, I have all the makeup. All I have to do is tear up some old clothes, drag them through the dirt, put some twigs and leaves in my hair and I'll be good to go. 


And since I didn't get to post my pics of that crock pot full of goodness I made on Sunday here is that, and my hound dog, waiting for food. If you didn't catch that recipe check it out here.  And make it, tis the bomb. 



See ya tomorrow for some confessional time with Kathy.... 

Monday, October 20, 2014

Weekending - So good I broke my hand....

Now... Get your heads out of the flippin gutter people. I may be single but the injury was sustained via stupidity and nothing else. And I didn't actually break it but I am pretty sure I came pretty damn close. Now for all of you ladies that love to do man things I commend you. And please don't get offended by the term "man things" because that is just general terminology I use for any task or chore I don't want to do. Or am not good at, which includes but is not limited to, yard work, household repairs, climbing ladders, killing bugs, cleaning out drains, power washing, hammering, nailing, screwing... wait what? The point is that I am horrible at all that kind of stuff. I am also horrible at asking for help. So sometimes I get the grand idea in my thick skull that I can be good if I just try harder. No, Not true, not true at all. Know where your talents lie people. Or injuries are sure to follow....
(there should be a pic here)

I would say it looks worse than it is but I am fairly certain it's worse than it looks. Good news is that I can move all the parts, didn't hear any pops or cracks when I hit the concrete and no one was around to see my fall from grace. 

In other news this weekend I mostly cooked, food prepped, watched football and laid around. I got all of my errands & shit done before the great fall... hair coloring, amazing work out, grocery shopping, the grooming of all things that need hot wax poured on them, bathroom cleaning and laundry. And then I sat on my butt for most of the day Sunday like a lobster with one giant claw up in the air. And zero fucks were given. 

Soo. AHS episode 2.. anyone??? I am so hooked. Why did I never watch this before? What is up with the creepy disgusting clown with no mouth parts? And poor Meep, Strongman needs a kick in the twisted ball sack. 



And The Walking Dead... I won't spoil since it was just on last night. But maybe one of the most disturbing episodes since the Governor's barber chair chamber of horrors which we never actually saw being used. And the Talking Dead just may have came up with the funniest hashtag ever. #BobBQ

Question: Why do charachters continue to go out alone at night during the zombie apocalypse? 
GO BACK INSIDE!!!!! 

Best recipe of the weekend... Paleo Hungryman Sweet Potato Casserole. I have made this before but it's been awhile. I wanted to load up the crockpot  for myself this week so I did. This comes from a great website PaleoPot.com.  Check it out! I put this together one handed which was a pain in the ass but doable with the food processor. I learned years ago that I will never chop or slice much by hand anymore. Perfectly sliced potatoes of all the exact same thickness every time. Yummm....




And football... The undefeated Seminoles of Florida State to be exact. Sorry Fighting Irish... better luck next year!!! Now, I wish all the haters would just go suck a bag of dicks already cause... UNCONQUERED. Ya heard?



And some other random stuff...  I took a ton of pics over the weekend and despite being somewhat ready with this post earlier either Verizon or Gmail has decided to shit all over my blog and refuse to email them from my phone to my gmail. Thank you for the wonderful phone update last night Jackholes. I am sure they will come through in another 8 hours or so. So  I guess I can't actually show you my giant bruised lobster claw hand until tomorrow. Womp womp.... 

Til then,



Weekending