Friday, February 27, 2015

Friday Favorites

Well fuck this week and the horse it rode in on. I am glad that it's over. Except for one good thing, my doctors appointment, everything else was kinda most definitely shitastic. All of my various interviews turned out to be a bust. One was really not a good fit for me (super corporate and stuffy) and I knew it when I left so that feedback was not surprising. The other one I was pretty excited about, they said they thought I was too laid back for the position. The work environment was not corporate or stuffy (ummm... big corp but they can wear jeans... love that) and they made a big point of getting that across but the recruiter said they are looking for someone who is a little more uptight. She actually used the word "uptight" for God's sake?!?! I think that was a poor choice of verbiage but I think I get what she meant. This is my struggle with interviews. I am taking the stance that I will try to impress and say what they want to hear to an extent but I am not going to try and portray myself in a light that isn't me. I am laid back but it doesn't mean I don't get my work done, on time and probably better than many others. I just don't freak out about it. It doesn't mean I am not meticulous and a perfectionist. But I guess they have to make a judgement call after knowing someone for 30 minutes. Their loss.

Thanks Kanye. Now let's get to the favorites with that newly married lady Mrs. Amanda...


I think this is pretty important information for all of us to have. Especially considering this might be the weekend that I allow myself to splurge on some delicious pizza pie. I do pretty much agree with the pairings here even though I have never actually given this any thought other than wine... wine goes with pizza. Period.
Pizza and wine pairings.  OMG I can hardly WAIT to try these with some of my friends!  Make an evening out of it!    :)


I have been in need of a new front door mat and I think this really sums up the way I want my guests to feel as they enter my home. I love Target. Please don't sell out before I get there this weekend!


Is it just me or are Beyonce and Jay-Z even more fabulous together than they are just normally? Love this song.... the Kardashian-West's got nothin on these two.

I haven't been cooking shit lately because I have just been pissy and lazy. This is helping to make my kids more self sufficient though so it's not all bad. It gives me an opportunity to teach them how to make their own simple meals and all I have to do is over see a little. But if I was cooking this is what I would be making...


Pillsbury Pizza Cake - I have been wanting to try this for some time and this recipe looks super easy and probably fun to do with the kids. We all love ordering pizza but it's so easy to make and it usually comes out just as delicious for a fraction of the price of take-out. And... healthier ingredients! Stay tuned for the results!

This is a pepperoni pizza cake, which is just a layer of pizza, topped with another layer, and another, and...sorry, drooling.

This Simple Recipe For Pepperoni Pizza Cake Is A Gift

And the moment we all wait for every week... the funny stuff.

new animated GIF

I have actually felt like this a few times this week. And P.S. when the hell is the new season out?

black animated GIF

This is about how serious our blizzard was this week. I want to meet this guy. 

New Snow animated GIF

I love how the first guy is so serious and then... Oppan Gangnam Style!!!

art animated GIF

This is just dumb but I like it. 

funny animated GIF

I totally think my dog gets pissy when I yell at him and walk away. 

funny animated GIF

I would love to see this roll up on the course.

Cheezburger animated GIF

Seatbelts. Use them even on the kiddie rides. 

Amusement Cheezburger animated GIF

Rope swing = This will not end well.

Fun Looks animated GIF

Cheers to the freakin weekend!

Thursday, February 26, 2015

This Post was "Only Used A Couple Times"

Hey yooo... haven't done a Favorite UD Words lately and we have missed some really good ones. So, in an effort to help you all maintain your street cred I am giving you some of my current faves. You're welcome. And also because my brain is currently relatively devoid of anything remotely useful. Sorry... I am on day 3 of no hot water. Yep that little POS did not remain fixed for long. Apparently it needs a new thermo coupler what the fuck ever universe which is an $8 part plus an $85 service call to install. Occasionally I will try to attempt to fix things myself and I have had some success. Amy don't play with natural gas lines. I have almost lost my eyebrows more than once just trying to light the grill so me thinks it's not a good idea to attempt to fix a gas powered hot water heater. With my luck I am sure I would blow up my house. FML this shit is getting old. Any way, here are a few of my very favorite things to currently work into everyday convo.

Now ladies, I think we can all admit to this. It's Girl Scout Cookie season and I had 2 Tagalongs yesterday and then I had a mouthgasm.
When you eat something that causes you to make pleasurable sounds out loud, exactly like the ones that you make when you have a orgasm.
"Oh my god, mmmmm, Oh my god, mmmmm, oh fuck".

"Are you ok"?

"Yeah. I think I just had a mouthgasm though".
I personally like bacon and cooking big fat steaks too much to ever get into a bicurean relationship. Not gon do it.
An adjective that describes a relationship between an omnivore/carnivore and a vegetarian/vegan.
We can serve anything for dinner when the Smiths come over, they are bicurean.

When you look at my phone just bear in mind that I am single so there is no illegal scrolling allowed. This scares me.
When someone hands you their phone to show you a photo or text, and you swipe left/right or scroll up or down without permission to.
Dude, I gave Sammy my phone to show her that bitchy text from Alice and she totally started illegal scrolling.

I am the worst at keeping an open mind when purchasing off Ebay or Craig's List. When I see "only used a couple times" I hear "someone elses broken crap" that they are done with.
"Only used a couple times" is an expression that literally translates to "used the fuck out of it and am selling it while I can for a few bucks before it breaks." The phrase is extremely common on Craigslist and Facebook yard sales. Oftentimes, after buying something that has "only been used a couple times," you will get maybe a couple of good uses out of it before it breaks/stops working/ignites and by the time you've gone through the hassle of scrapping it, you'll be wishing you would've just bought a friggin' new one from the start.
"I bought a popcorn popper that was "only used a couple times" and the damn things spits out half the seeds."

"I'm not sure why the washing machine makes loud humming noises. The person I bought it from said it was "only used a couple times."

"I bought a Glock that was "only used a couple times," and the slide flew off when I shot it and nearly impaled my right eye."

I have a friend that says "shots fired" all the time. Now I have a come back. Thank you captain obvious Urban Dictionary.
Recently, many people have been saying "Shots Fired," when someone gives a witty remark or serious burn. Now, if you ever find yourself on the receiving end of one of these burns, you can say "Shots Received."
Evil Friend: "Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory."

You: "Ouch. Shots received."
I love banking in a secure private location like my closet. 
Money saved or stored by a non-traditional method (inside of a Shoe Box) without F.D.I.C. protection, enabling easy fee-free banking from a secure private location, usually ones residence.
Penelope was perplexed at her friends concern over ATM fees or government oversight because her Shoe Box Money was self managed.
We all have this person that invites us over and we just brace ourselves for the utter disappointment that is their cooking.

What you say under your breath when you do NOT want to eat someone's awful cooking.
I puked when I saw my Aunt's atrocious black lasagna and muttered, "Turn down for lunch!"

Isn't this why we all drink for the most part? It's an addicting feeling right there. I've come up with some really great ideas when drunkspired. 

The feeling of inspiration one can get when having a drink (alcoholic)
I couldn't figure out what to write until I had a drinkspiration. 
I think possibly I am not nearly ambitchous enough here lately. Personal goals.
striving to be more of a bitch than the average bitch
Ugh! Britney f****** my boyfriend!

Yeah, she's pretty ambitchous.
See ya on the flip side. 

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Hashtag Humpday

This day has almost gotten away from me but I figured I should still at least attempt to get a post up before the next snowmaggedon hits us and I go into hibernation. So I guess it's confession/ hashtag time for this girl.

This week has been insane and it is only Wednesday. Multiple interviews with 2 companies has my head absolutely spinning. Some really great opportunities are popping up for the first time. Positions that I think I would be so happy in which haven't been a plenty so far. Fingers crossed that something pans out for me soon. Everyone keeps asking how the interviews went. I have completely lost my ability to assess this. I don't know. I always think they went well so don't ask me cause I am still unemployed ... #surelyyoucantbeserious #yesyesiam #anddontcallmeshirley

I went and saw my cardiologist today for my 6 month checkup. Yes, when you get old, abuse your body and have a bad family history of high BP you need one of those. Guess who got the high five from the coolest heart doc in Atlanta??? Me... he was so proud of some of the changes I have made most notably the 27.5... you heard me... pounds I am officially down since my last visit. Getting closer to one of my 2015 Manifesto bullet points of reducing my meds and/or eliminating some altogether. #donthatemecauseyouaintme

No seriously, so the rest of my life might be in the toilet but my health is coming along nicely. Still, trust me, long ways to go. I really feel like the universe looks down on my small strides and tries to mock me. By oh, I don't know... say making my hot water heater take a shit last night in the dead of winter. The water heater that I replaced last year. I had a great day yesterday and then the universe was all like #notsofastmyfriend #hahahafuckyou

I called one of my amazing neighbors who is a handy man and he got it restarted today so I won't have to live without a shower one more day. I was thrilled but something tells me there is a problem there just waiting to happen again. #becausethatshowiroll

In other news... this is what we are currently waiting for in Atlanta. Luckily I have nothing on the schedule for the next 2 days. So hey Mother Nature... #comeatmebro

Linking up with the lovely Laura and Lauren for a little #HASHTAGHUMPDAY action. 

#Hashtaghumpday @ Life with Lolo