SOCIAL MEDIA

Image result for christmas confessions

Confession...I don't really but Christmas and I do have a love hate relationship fo sho. I think this year is going to be better though. I decided I'm getting a real tree again this year. It's been at least 5 years of hauling out and assembling the fake one. The truth is I really don't enjoy that so not doing it. I'll have a real one and I will throw it in the woods behind my house when I am done with it. Recycling.

As I have nothing blog related planned all week so let's just wing it and do an old fashioned Hump Day Confessions post shall we?

I don't know where my blogging juju is but it's gone-zo lately. It returned briefly last week and it was so nice to have time while in Michigan to get up and write over my coffee in the morning like I used to. I swear if I was loaded and didn't have to worry about things likes bills, I would be a full time blogger, paleo/healthy chef, write cookbooks, cook amazing food and just putter around doing creative things all day every day. Universe... if you are listening.

So between Black Friday and Cyber Monday I knocked a bunch of shit off my personal Christmas list this year. No one buys me presents so I always figure I should just buy my own. I got a few things for the kids too. I can't wait until the packages start rolling in. I don't even feel guilty.

I went to Costco last weekend and even though it was not on the list I bought a big box of bows, 4 big ass rolls of coordinated wrapping paper and a 6 pack of magic tape. All I have left to pick up is a pack of gift bags and I can literally start wrapping today. Operation "enjoy Christmas Eve for once in your life and not spend it wrapping till 2 am" is underway.

I made a conscious decision awhile back to stop going out so much for a number of reasons... drink less, save more, waste less time and avoid drama to name a few. What I discovered is that I don't miss it as much as I thought I would but I am still not being as productive as I would like to be. I do find that the money I am not spending in the bar is going directly to Amazon Prime however. Less time going out = more time to shop.

I am more excited than ever to do some holiday baking this year now that I have my new mac daddy double ovens. I have actually put "baking dates" on my calendar because I am secretly an 80 year old woman. For real though one of the things I can't wait to make again is Serbian nut roll like my Grandmother and her sisters all made and it legit takes a whole day. But it is so worth it.

Image result for serbian nut roll

I made an appointment in January to get my eyebrows done permanently. I am super psyched. One of my girl friends had hers done awhile back and I am envious every time I see her, they look perfect and she really doesn't have to do much to them at all but tweeze a stray or two. No more drawing on, filling in, trying to fix my mismatched, thinning, patchy brows. IMO bad brows just look awful  and lack of them altogether just makes you look old and tired. If you have no idea what I am talking about check out my girl @gabriellerainbow on IG and see what kind of magic she works. And no I am not going to Quebec, she's coming to Atlanta!  Merry Christmas to me.

What's your secret today?

Hump Day Confessions

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Image result for christmas confessions

Confession...I don't really but Christmas and I do have a love hate relationship fo sho. I think this year is going to be better though. I decided I'm getting a real tree again this year. It's been at least 5 years of hauling out and assembling the fake one. The truth is I really don't enjoy that so not doing it. I'll have a real one and I will throw it in the woods behind my house when I am done with it. Recycling.

As I have nothing blog related planned all week so let's just wing it and do an old fashioned Hump Day Confessions post shall we?

I don't know where my blogging juju is but it's gone-zo lately. It returned briefly last week and it was so nice to have time while in Michigan to get up and write over my coffee in the morning like I used to. I swear if I was loaded and didn't have to worry about things likes bills, I would be a full time blogger, paleo/healthy chef, write cookbooks, cook amazing food and just putter around doing creative things all day every day. Universe... if you are listening.

So between Black Friday and Cyber Monday I knocked a bunch of shit off my personal Christmas list this year. No one buys me presents so I always figure I should just buy my own. I got a few things for the kids too. I can't wait until the packages start rolling in. I don't even feel guilty.

I went to Costco last weekend and even though it was not on the list I bought a big box of bows, 4 big ass rolls of coordinated wrapping paper and a 6 pack of magic tape. All I have left to pick up is a pack of gift bags and I can literally start wrapping today. Operation "enjoy Christmas Eve for once in your life and not spend it wrapping till 2 am" is underway.

I made a conscious decision awhile back to stop going out so much for a number of reasons... drink less, save more, waste less time and avoid drama to name a few. What I discovered is that I don't miss it as much as I thought I would but I am still not being as productive as I would like to be. I do find that the money I am not spending in the bar is going directly to Amazon Prime however. Less time going out = more time to shop.

I am more excited than ever to do some holiday baking this year now that I have my new mac daddy double ovens. I have actually put "baking dates" on my calendar because I am secretly an 80 year old woman. For real though one of the things I can't wait to make again is Serbian nut roll like my Grandmother and her sisters all made and it legit takes a whole day. But it is so worth it.

Image result for serbian nut roll

I made an appointment in January to get my eyebrows done permanently. I am super psyched. One of my girl friends had hers done awhile back and I am envious every time I see her, they look perfect and she really doesn't have to do much to them at all but tweeze a stray or two. No more drawing on, filling in, trying to fix my mismatched, thinning, patchy brows. IMO bad brows just look awful  and lack of them altogether just makes you look old and tired. If you have no idea what I am talking about check out my girl @gabriellerainbow on IG and see what kind of magic she works. And no I am not going to Quebec, she's coming to Atlanta!  Merry Christmas to me.

What's your secret today?





Did you get your TeamiBlends 30 Day Detox packs on BOGO for Black Friday? Well if you did you definitely need a tea tumbler and a spare. Today only for Cyber Monday you can get 2  green tumblers for the price of one! I use mine all the time because I am always on the go. It is the perfect way to steep your loose leaf teas and have them handy to sip on all day. Don't miss this deal!

Click here and use code AMYWCM at check out to get 2 tumblers for the price of one!

Use code AMYW10 for 10% off your orders any time!

Happy Detoxing!


TeamiBlends Cyber Monday BOGO

Monday, November 28, 2016





Did you get your TeamiBlends 30 Day Detox packs on BOGO for Black Friday? Well if you did you definitely need a tea tumbler and a spare. Today only for Cyber Monday you can get 2  green tumblers for the price of one! I use mine all the time because I am always on the go. It is the perfect way to steep your loose leaf teas and have them handy to sip on all day. Don't miss this deal!

Click here and use code AMYWCM at check out to get 2 tumblers for the price of one!

Use code AMYW10 for 10% off your orders any time!

Happy Detoxing!






You all know how much I love my Teami and the 30 Day Detox is my favorite product! If you have not tried it and you are thinking about a detox I can not say enough about this one. The tea tastes wonderful and the cleanse is gentle. If you are gearing up for a healthy new year now is your chance to stock up and get your 30 Day Detox on BOGO!

The Teami Detox Tea & Colon Cleanse can help with the following:
  • Boost metabolism
  • Aid in weight management
  • Suppress appetite
  • Reduce bloating
  • Decrease water retention
  • Cleanse and detoxify the major internal organs
  • Improve complexion

Click here and Use code "AMYWBF" at checkout to get your BOGO detox packs!


To your health!


Black Friday TeamiBlends BOGO

Friday, November 25, 2016





You all know how much I love my Teami and the 30 Day Detox is my favorite product! If you have not tried it and you are thinking about a detox I can not say enough about this one. The tea tastes wonderful and the cleanse is gentle. If you are gearing up for a healthy new year now is your chance to stock up and get your 30 Day Detox on BOGO!

The Teami Detox Tea & Colon Cleanse can help with the following:
  • Boost metabolism
  • Aid in weight management
  • Suppress appetite
  • Reduce bloating
  • Decrease water retention
  • Cleanse and detoxify the major internal organs
  • Improve complexion

Click here and Use code "AMYWBF" at checkout to get your BOGO detox packs!


To your health!



Fun Stuff! - The Savvy SocialistaThe Savvy Socialista:

May all of you have a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving with your family and friends!

Happy Thanksgiving 2016

Thursday, November 24, 2016


Fun Stuff! - The Savvy SocialistaThe Savvy Socialista:

May all of you have a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving with your family and friends!


Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back... #quote:


I rarely look back anymore, at least not for any length of time. It's just not that useful in my opinion.

As 2016 draws to a close... 6 weeks y'all... I find the things that I am most looking forward to in the immediate future are my now typical January pushes toward better health. Honestly I am excited about it which sounds odd because it means being super strict and hard core, cooking like a fiend, toting around food and everyone giving me the side eye... like I care.  This year was definitely a struggle for me and one that I did not really meet head on in terms of health and fitness. Somewhere around summer, my lay-off and a couple of other really big disappointments I just fell off the wagon completely. One thing I did learn is that in middle age it is still easier than ever to pack on the pounds in a short period of time. It's hard as shit to lose them but sadly the opposite is not true, thanks mother nature.

So having said that I want to talk for just a minute about my 2 favorite things to do in January, The Whole30 (round 3 for me) and the 30 Day detox with Teamiblends. It's time to start thinking about both. I need to mentally and physically prepare in order to really be successful and rather than doing that the last few days of the year I am going to start now so that maybe, just maybe, the holidays won't add insult to injury this year.  And by insult I mean another 5 or 10 or eleventy billion pounds before Jan. 2.

January 2 is the official start date for me and millions of other folks for this years January Whole30. If you are interested in doing it with all of us and me go here to the official sign up. A few of us bloggers did a challenge together last year and it was lots of fun to have support, accountability, share recipes, thoughts and feelings along the way. You can read about it here. If you want to read about my first and most fabulous Whole30 when I lost 20 lbs in 30 days look here. I cannot say enough about the Whole30. It is by far the way of eating that I love most and feel best when I am following. I am not always the strictest admittedly but every year I have approached Whole30 with excitement because I know how much better I will look and feel even within the first couple of weeks. If you need a kickstart I urge you to give it a shot! I will be your cheerleader!

The other thing that I love and swear by is the Teamiblends 30 Day Detox. Read about my success with that product and regimen here. Now I know you might not really think drinking a bunch of organic loose leaf teas can help but teas do have properties for different things and for me these work. I love the skinny tea for curbing appetite which is always an issue at the beginning of a Whole30 for me when your body is still wanting what it shouldn't have. The colon tea is just a great tool for cleansing your system and reducing bloat... it works. You can always get 10% off with my code AMYW10 at checkout. For Black Friday only  use code AMYWBF to get your 30 Day Detox Buy One Get One Free. That is a great deal so stock up and save! On Cyber Monday use code AMYWCM to get a green Tea Tumbler Buy One Get One Free. Keep one at home and one and the office!
Don't miss these deals if you are planning a detox with me or on your own!

Soooo.... if you are interested in joining a challenge group or just following along let me know. I will blog my way through it regardless but everything's better with friends!


Looking Ahead...

Tuesday, November 22, 2016


Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back... #quote:


I rarely look back anymore, at least not for any length of time. It's just not that useful in my opinion.

As 2016 draws to a close... 6 weeks y'all... I find the things that I am most looking forward to in the immediate future are my now typical January pushes toward better health. Honestly I am excited about it which sounds odd because it means being super strict and hard core, cooking like a fiend, toting around food and everyone giving me the side eye... like I care.  This year was definitely a struggle for me and one that I did not really meet head on in terms of health and fitness. Somewhere around summer, my lay-off and a couple of other really big disappointments I just fell off the wagon completely. One thing I did learn is that in middle age it is still easier than ever to pack on the pounds in a short period of time. It's hard as shit to lose them but sadly the opposite is not true, thanks mother nature.

So having said that I want to talk for just a minute about my 2 favorite things to do in January, The Whole30 (round 3 for me) and the 30 Day detox with Teamiblends. It's time to start thinking about both. I need to mentally and physically prepare in order to really be successful and rather than doing that the last few days of the year I am going to start now so that maybe, just maybe, the holidays won't add insult to injury this year.  And by insult I mean another 5 or 10 or eleventy billion pounds before Jan. 2.

January 2 is the official start date for me and millions of other folks for this years January Whole30. If you are interested in doing it with all of us and me go here to the official sign up. A few of us bloggers did a challenge together last year and it was lots of fun to have support, accountability, share recipes, thoughts and feelings along the way. You can read about it here. If you want to read about my first and most fabulous Whole30 when I lost 20 lbs in 30 days look here. I cannot say enough about the Whole30. It is by far the way of eating that I love most and feel best when I am following. I am not always the strictest admittedly but every year I have approached Whole30 with excitement because I know how much better I will look and feel even within the first couple of weeks. If you need a kickstart I urge you to give it a shot! I will be your cheerleader!

The other thing that I love and swear by is the Teamiblends 30 Day Detox. Read about my success with that product and regimen here. Now I know you might not really think drinking a bunch of organic loose leaf teas can help but teas do have properties for different things and for me these work. I love the skinny tea for curbing appetite which is always an issue at the beginning of a Whole30 for me when your body is still wanting what it shouldn't have. The colon tea is just a great tool for cleansing your system and reducing bloat... it works. You can always get 10% off with my code AMYW10 at checkout. For Black Friday only  use code AMYWBF to get your 30 Day Detox Buy One Get One Free. That is a great deal so stock up and save! On Cyber Monday use code AMYWCM to get a green Tea Tumbler Buy One Get One Free. Keep one at home and one and the office!
Don't miss these deals if you are planning a detox with me or on your own!

Soooo.... if you are interested in joining a challenge group or just following along let me know. I will blog my way through it regardless but everything's better with friends!


LAURA INGALLS WILDER quote home quote by PoetryBoutique on Etsy, $7.00:

I have time to blog this week! I am home in Michigan with my family where I have not been in 2 years! I know, it's horrible to admit but due to circumstances with jobs etc. trips home took a back burner. But, I'm here now for the week and I plan to thoroughly enjoy sleeping in, lounging around, hanging with my family and having a great Thanksgiving. We drove half way on Friday because I am a road trip whimp and about 6 or 7 hours is my max. The worst part of the first day was driving through the mountains in TN. It is breathtakingly beautiful this time of year with all of the fall colors and it was but, the mountains are dotted with forest fires and that was so sad to see. Some areas were so bad we were coughing and hacking from smoke in the car. Pray for rain in the south and an end to our drought! We stopped for the night in Lexington KY and it was about 70 degrees and beautiful. I enjoyed a few hours in a cramped hotel room with 2 teens, one energetic 10 year old and a dog that was farting non-stop before everyone passed out. One free shitty hotel breakfast later and we were on the road the next morning with chilly 39 degree temps and winds that cut right through you. WTF. We saw snow all the way home from KY thru OH and on into MI. It was really pretty actually.

My parents house is full. My brother lives close by so they have been over all weekend.That brings the grand total to 5 adults, 5 kids and 3 dogs. My Dad survived a stroke about 15 years ago and although he is all there cognitively he can't speak or write very well. I was making a list to shopping yesterday and he attempted to add what he needed to the paper. Haha... funny guy



We have a few fun things planned this week. Heading downtown to the Motown Museum to see what they added on and probably a stop for lunch at the world famous Lafayette Coney Island for dogs.

I started a 30 Day Squat Challenge today with an IG group of friends that will hopefully help with the amount of pie and stuffing I will be eating this week. If anyone wants to join let me know and I will add you!

Image result for 30 day squat challenge chart

So that's about it for my weekend. Here are a few snaps but please follow along on Snapchat for all of the blow by blow fun! @crazywisewoman



Happy Turkey Week!

Weekending: Home For the Holidays

Monday, November 21, 2016

LAURA INGALLS WILDER quote home quote by PoetryBoutique on Etsy, $7.00:

I have time to blog this week! I am home in Michigan with my family where I have not been in 2 years! I know, it's horrible to admit but due to circumstances with jobs etc. trips home took a back burner. But, I'm here now for the week and I plan to thoroughly enjoy sleeping in, lounging around, hanging with my family and having a great Thanksgiving. We drove half way on Friday because I am a road trip whimp and about 6 or 7 hours is my max. The worst part of the first day was driving through the mountains in TN. It is breathtakingly beautiful this time of year with all of the fall colors and it was but, the mountains are dotted with forest fires and that was so sad to see. Some areas were so bad we were coughing and hacking from smoke in the car. Pray for rain in the south and an end to our drought! We stopped for the night in Lexington KY and it was about 70 degrees and beautiful. I enjoyed a few hours in a cramped hotel room with 2 teens, one energetic 10 year old and a dog that was farting non-stop before everyone passed out. One free shitty hotel breakfast later and we were on the road the next morning with chilly 39 degree temps and winds that cut right through you. WTF. We saw snow all the way home from KY thru OH and on into MI. It was really pretty actually.

My parents house is full. My brother lives close by so they have been over all weekend.That brings the grand total to 5 adults, 5 kids and 3 dogs. My Dad survived a stroke about 15 years ago and although he is all there cognitively he can't speak or write very well. I was making a list to shopping yesterday and he attempted to add what he needed to the paper. Haha... funny guy



We have a few fun things planned this week. Heading downtown to the Motown Museum to see what they added on and probably a stop for lunch at the world famous Lafayette Coney Island for dogs.

I started a 30 Day Squat Challenge today with an IG group of friends that will hopefully help with the amount of pie and stuffing I will be eating this week. If anyone wants to join let me know and I will add you!

Image result for 30 day squat challenge chart

So that's about it for my weekend. Here are a few snaps but please follow along on Snapchat for all of the blow by blow fun! @crazywisewoman



Happy Turkey Week!


I'm banana focused.:


Ok well maybe it's not that bad. Oh hey, by the way. Where have I been? I miss this little place of mine and I miss writing down my thoughts, musings and activities. I miss reading about yours too. I miss chit chatting with you all out there in bloglandia. So here is an attempt for today or at least a check in just to say "Hey".

Work has been sucking the life blood out of me. Several years ago , right before I decided to get divorced and started this blog, I had a job at a monster bank and I had a decidedly love hate relationship with said job. Without getting too far into it there were parts that I loved, like really truly loved if you believe you can love your work. And they were big components of the job so win, win for me but there were things about that position and the company that filled me with dread. I don't mean to be melodramatic here but if you've had a job where on Sunday afternoons about 2 pm you start feeling anxious because you know your time away is coming to a close, then you know what I mean. Dread. I ended up getting "let go" (I was just leaving anyway thanks) from that job because, as I now know to be true, when something in your life isn't right for you it will find a way out one way or another.

Flash forward to now. Tiny feelings of dread on Sunday, but nonetheless dread. So let's examines the why's and wherefores of said dreadful feelings a bit.  What is is that is actually causing me to feel nervous and anxious and actually have dreams on the regular about my job and/or fucking up at my job. I really am, how crappy is that? So in true management fashion I will bullet it out for you... with matching bullets and the proper indentation because God forbid the alternative:
  • The pace is anywhere from breakneck speed to faster than shit through a goose. Like, don't blink or you will miss... ummm... pretty much everything.
  • It's a completely new sector of the industry for me, like I know very little about it, thus tons of new language, acronyms, procedures, pretty much everything is new to me. I swear to God it's like they are speaking another language solely made up of acronyms. SHRP2, FHWA, GDOT, FLTC, REL, ITS, MUTCD, TRIP, TIME, TIM, RAX, ETO, ATMS, ALADS, HERO, TMC... just to name a few. UGH.
  • It's a new (to me obvi) company and it's very, very corporate. As in, everything has to be done just so. No exceptions. Did I mention we do government work? They have a crap ton of rules.
  • The workload is insane. I could easily work 50-60 hours a week on the 2 projects I am assigned to but they are very strict about not doing that, thank God. Work/Life balance. But, but... the workload.
  • I'm out of the office and driving all over Atlanta (which is horrible) for meetings, etc. way more than I am in the office which makes it hard to figure out when I am supposed to sit down and do the work I need to do. 
  • I feel like I don't know what I'm doing 50% of the time which is probably accurate and fair because like I said it's all new but still... not a fun feeling to have 50% of the time. 100% of the time this makes me feel like I am in over my head. I don't think I am but I am my worst critic. But they did hire me after all so there's that.
I mean, I could go on and on I guess but you get the idea. So my solution for now is to just go head down and plow through. I am exhausted at the end of every day and I want to climb into bed as soon as the sun sets and the kitchen is clean. My friends haven't seen much of me, I am sure my favorite bar stool is home to a new ass by now. My poor blog that I used to write in the evenings has suffered because now I sleep in the evenings like an 80 year old grandma. Who am I?

On the bright side, if I can get over the hump and all of the learning curves this is an insanely amazing career opportunity for me. The possibilities are truly endless, I could literally be building a bridge on the other side of the world or something. It's funny how little things like jobs can change your life, shift your focus and force you to take a hard look at your world and re-prioritize.

On the even brighter side I leave for Michigan tomorrow to spend a week of paid vacation with my family for the holidays. Couldn't do that as a contractor. I may even get lit stay up past 8 and blog a little while I am there, who knows.

So that's whats up. What's up with you?




Banana.

Thursday, November 17, 2016


I'm banana focused.:


Ok well maybe it's not that bad. Oh hey, by the way. Where have I been? I miss this little place of mine and I miss writing down my thoughts, musings and activities. I miss reading about yours too. I miss chit chatting with you all out there in bloglandia. So here is an attempt for today or at least a check in just to say "Hey".

Work has been sucking the life blood out of me. Several years ago , right before I decided to get divorced and started this blog, I had a job at a monster bank and I had a decidedly love hate relationship with said job. Without getting too far into it there were parts that I loved, like really truly loved if you believe you can love your work. And they were big components of the job so win, win for me but there were things about that position and the company that filled me with dread. I don't mean to be melodramatic here but if you've had a job where on Sunday afternoons about 2 pm you start feeling anxious because you know your time away is coming to a close, then you know what I mean. Dread. I ended up getting "let go" (I was just leaving anyway thanks) from that job because, as I now know to be true, when something in your life isn't right for you it will find a way out one way or another.

Flash forward to now. Tiny feelings of dread on Sunday, but nonetheless dread. So let's examines the why's and wherefores of said dreadful feelings a bit.  What is is that is actually causing me to feel nervous and anxious and actually have dreams on the regular about my job and/or fucking up at my job. I really am, how crappy is that? So in true management fashion I will bullet it out for you... with matching bullets and the proper indentation because God forbid the alternative:
  • The pace is anywhere from breakneck speed to faster than shit through a goose. Like, don't blink or you will miss... ummm... pretty much everything.
  • It's a completely new sector of the industry for me, like I know very little about it, thus tons of new language, acronyms, procedures, pretty much everything is new to me. I swear to God it's like they are speaking another language solely made up of acronyms. SHRP2, FHWA, GDOT, FLTC, REL, ITS, MUTCD, TRIP, TIME, TIM, RAX, ETO, ATMS, ALADS, HERO, TMC... just to name a few. UGH.
  • It's a new (to me obvi) company and it's very, very corporate. As in, everything has to be done just so. No exceptions. Did I mention we do government work? They have a crap ton of rules.
  • The workload is insane. I could easily work 50-60 hours a week on the 2 projects I am assigned to but they are very strict about not doing that, thank God. Work/Life balance. But, but... the workload.
  • I'm out of the office and driving all over Atlanta (which is horrible) for meetings, etc. way more than I am in the office which makes it hard to figure out when I am supposed to sit down and do the work I need to do. 
  • I feel like I don't know what I'm doing 50% of the time which is probably accurate and fair because like I said it's all new but still... not a fun feeling to have 50% of the time. 100% of the time this makes me feel like I am in over my head. I don't think I am but I am my worst critic. But they did hire me after all so there's that.
I mean, I could go on and on I guess but you get the idea. So my solution for now is to just go head down and plow through. I am exhausted at the end of every day and I want to climb into bed as soon as the sun sets and the kitchen is clean. My friends haven't seen much of me, I am sure my favorite bar stool is home to a new ass by now. My poor blog that I used to write in the evenings has suffered because now I sleep in the evenings like an 80 year old grandma. Who am I?

On the bright side, if I can get over the hump and all of the learning curves this is an insanely amazing career opportunity for me. The possibilities are truly endless, I could literally be building a bridge on the other side of the world or something. It's funny how little things like jobs can change your life, shift your focus and force you to take a hard look at your world and re-prioritize.

On the even brighter side I leave for Michigan tomorrow to spend a week of paid vacation with my family for the holidays. Couldn't do that as a contractor. I may even get lit stay up past 8 and blog a little while I am there, who knows.

So that's whats up. What's up with you?





>.< There are worse things. Ive been blessed with the greatest friends and family, the best kind around.:

I really do, I think this all the time. I did the long, looooong marriage thing and it was fun for a while but then it got old. And bad, it got very bad and then it ended. I ended it, thank God. So here I am, happily single.  But sometimes it's nice to have someone to go out and do things with or just to be with so I date. I date in the hopes of finding such a person but, I am just a teeny bit picky. I have a lot of requirements and deal breakers, at least my friends think I do. I'm totally a Sally. I want it the way I want it.

Image result for when harry met sally quotes

So, this post has been sitting in drafts forever and by popular demand in this post, I have been encouraged by all of you to finish it. So here it is... all of the millions of reasons that I cannot date you losers!

Your pics on your online dating profile are landscape instead of portrait. I mean come on, if you can't figure that out you are seriously technologically challenged.

You are all up in my shit all the time. Get off my jock. If you wanna know check my snapchat like everyone else.

You are a name caller when angry. Guys this is a big one for me, I just can't handle it. My ex was big on slinging insults and calling names during fights and you just can't ever unsay those words. Deal breaker.

You live with your parents. I understand hard times but my days of making out on your Mom's couch are long over.

You are still married. You guys laugh but you'd be surprised how many married men are actually also dating. I'm not kidding ladies, it's a thing.

You need constant attention. I have 3 kids and a dog. Nope. I cannot text you all day every day nor can I call you at specific times every day. Not gon do it.

You can't fix things. I can't fix things either so this is a lose-lose situation. I need me a handy guy.

You don't like outdoorsy things. Not as in you must hunt, fish, ride 4 wheelers but be open to actually spending time out of doors on occasion as opposed to the couch.

You don't cook at least the basics. Please... I am soooo tired of cooking virtually every meal that I consume for myself. If I have to do it for you forever it's not happening.

You wear skinny jeans or any sort of EMO type garb and you are in your 40's. Grow up.

Along with that...You have gauges. I like the bad boy type... tattoos, beards, scruffy-ish but I just can't embrace the giant droopy holes in your earlobes. It's not hot and you know, you're gonna have to get that surgically repaired at some point.

You shave. I kid... kind of. Not a fan of the babyface, sorry.

You bitch in the morning. Big deal breaker for me. Nothing ruins your day like someone bitching and complaining before breakfast.

You have bad table manners. This is my Virgo coming out but if you slurp, smack or say "mmmmmm" while you eat, NO. If you hold your utensils like a 2 year old and/or lick the knife, NO. If you lick your fingers I will kill you. Also, blow your nose at the table and I will get up and leave. Like "you will look up and I'll just be gone" leave.

And last but not least...You are a bad tipper and/or are rude to waitstaff. This says a lot about a person folks. We are going to go out a lot because it's fun and we live in an amazing town so please, be kind to those that serve you. They work really hard, harder than most and they deserve respect and a nice tip if they do a great job.

I could go on but I'll save it for another year in drafts...

I Can't Date You If....

Tuesday, November 1, 2016


>.< There are worse things. Ive been blessed with the greatest friends and family, the best kind around.:

I really do, I think this all the time. I did the long, looooong marriage thing and it was fun for a while but then it got old. And bad, it got very bad and then it ended. I ended it, thank God. So here I am, happily single.  But sometimes it's nice to have someone to go out and do things with or just to be with so I date. I date in the hopes of finding such a person but, I am just a teeny bit picky. I have a lot of requirements and deal breakers, at least my friends think I do. I'm totally a Sally. I want it the way I want it.

Image result for when harry met sally quotes

So, this post has been sitting in drafts forever and by popular demand in this post, I have been encouraged by all of you to finish it. So here it is... all of the millions of reasons that I cannot date you losers!

Your pics on your online dating profile are landscape instead of portrait. I mean come on, if you can't figure that out you are seriously technologically challenged.

You are all up in my shit all the time. Get off my jock. If you wanna know check my snapchat like everyone else.

You are a name caller when angry. Guys this is a big one for me, I just can't handle it. My ex was big on slinging insults and calling names during fights and you just can't ever unsay those words. Deal breaker.

You live with your parents. I understand hard times but my days of making out on your Mom's couch are long over.

You are still married. You guys laugh but you'd be surprised how many married men are actually also dating. I'm not kidding ladies, it's a thing.

You need constant attention. I have 3 kids and a dog. Nope. I cannot text you all day every day nor can I call you at specific times every day. Not gon do it.

You can't fix things. I can't fix things either so this is a lose-lose situation. I need me a handy guy.

You don't like outdoorsy things. Not as in you must hunt, fish, ride 4 wheelers but be open to actually spending time out of doors on occasion as opposed to the couch.

You don't cook at least the basics. Please... I am soooo tired of cooking virtually every meal that I consume for myself. If I have to do it for you forever it's not happening.

You wear skinny jeans or any sort of EMO type garb and you are in your 40's. Grow up.

Along with that...You have gauges. I like the bad boy type... tattoos, beards, scruffy-ish but I just can't embrace the giant droopy holes in your earlobes. It's not hot and you know, you're gonna have to get that surgically repaired at some point.

You shave. I kid... kind of. Not a fan of the babyface, sorry.

You bitch in the morning. Big deal breaker for me. Nothing ruins your day like someone bitching and complaining before breakfast.

You have bad table manners. This is my Virgo coming out but if you slurp, smack or say "mmmmmm" while you eat, NO. If you hold your utensils like a 2 year old and/or lick the knife, NO. If you lick your fingers I will kill you. Also, blow your nose at the table and I will get up and leave. Like "you will look up and I'll just be gone" leave.

And last but not least...You are a bad tipper and/or are rude to waitstaff. This says a lot about a person folks. We are going to go out a lot because it's fun and we live in an amazing town so please, be kind to those that serve you. They work really hard, harder than most and they deserve respect and a nice tip if they do a great job.

I could go on but I'll save it for another year in drafts...

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