Match.com??? Do I really need another job???

on
Friday, June 15, 2012
So this just may be an exercise in complete madness but I have decided to join Match.com. Ok, my best friend and I decided, late at night, over wine that I should join first to test it out for both of us. And for some strange reason I thought this sounded like a winner. Must have been the wine.

There actually is a category on Match for the currently separated folks in limbo like me. Although I am sure this is by far the least desirable relationship status out there for would be matches thank God it exists. So after spending days reading about men and what they are looking for nowadays I have come to a few conclusions that I would like to expand upon.

Let me start out by saying there are a lot of complete whack jobs on the Internet and apparently... they dig this one right here. In the first couple of days on Match I have been emailed by a some completely drop dead gorgeous men wanting to chat with me... on Yahoo... not Match. Turns out this is most likely scammers from Nigeria trying to get me to send them money for a plane ticket to come see me. Great!
I am also getting a lot of attention I guessed based on my pictures alone because they are definitely not reading the profile it took me days to carefully craft. Wait... aren't you supposed to actually read about the person to see if you might be a match??? Guess not. Do you really think we can have a relationship of any kind if you live across the country? I am not looking for a pen pal, don't email me. If you want 10 kids, don't email me, I have 3 and as my profile states I'm done. If you are 5'-2" I really don't care if you are a doctor, you are just too short for me. If you pastimes include watching Dukes of Hazzard reruns please move along, how does that qualify as active? And I don't want to join you on your "walk with the Lord".

I have only sent one match email so far and that was to ask for a picture. No response. Why would you put up a profile without a picture? You can't be that hideous, just bite the bullet and take a cheesy mirror photo like every other ass hat out there does! Seriously... bathroom mirror... with your shirt off??? Really??? And make sure you have a reasonably normal screen name. D you really think that a woman wants a guy who goes by shiningarmor4u2 or needalife, funromantic, thirdsacharm, biggunluver... put a little thought into it please. Can't be good if you're turnin me off with you name!

I am thinkin this is going to be a numbers game. I need to decide exactly how much effort I am willing to put forth sitting on my couch at night sifting thru emails and "winks" and profiles. I need to get up the courage to just send one of these cuties a note. I just don't know if this is for me or not... jury still out.



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