What We Can Learn From Scary Halloween Movies

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and would you believe it is only 10 days away??? I am also a huge fan of scary movies, but the classics like Friday the 13th, Halloween, Amityville Horror, The Excorcist... you get the idea. The ones that make you laugh a little now because yes,  they are scary but a bit over the top too. Soooo in honor of that and because I am slammed at work, I have decided to revisit one of my all time favorite Halloween posts today. This is really more of a PSA because these are things we all know but apparently bear repeating because in the heat of a terrifying moment common sense is lost. Just lookin out for you guys... you're welcome

If your dream house looks like it's a possessed four eyed bat at night, don't buy it.

If a mass murder occurred in your dream house don't buy it.

If your dream house was built on a cemetery or any type of human or animal burial site... DO. NOT. BUY. IT.

If you're kind of slutty looking the killer is coming for you first. Especially if you have big boobs. And you're alone.

Don't answer the phone when you are babysitting.

If you are in the dark and you hear heavy breathing don't get all excited and think it's your boyfriend.

Grown women should not wear pig tails. Ever.

For God's sake don't trip over things.

The television should not talk back to you.

Get out of the haunted house... just go already!!!

Asking the killer not to kill you rarely works, even if you say please.

If you hear a strange noise don't go investigate alone Nancy Drew.

Don't ever take a shower or try to hide in the bathroom. There is no way out of there you fool!

When travelling in the woods or the desert, don't take shortcuts. Or stop at abandoned buildings.

Don't go canoeing alone.

When the power goes out don't hide in the basement.

If your kid starts speaking Latin, be worried, be very worried.

If it's overly foggy or misty, don't go out.

If a beam of light comes out of the sky don't get out of the truck.

And last but not least aliens, chainsaws, meat hooks, mummies, werewolves, ghosts, shape shifters, cornfields and flesh eating zombies are all signs of bad things to come.


Happy Halloween to all the slutty cheerleaders/cops/witches/french maids/nurses and pirates out there:)


  1. bahahahahhaha pigtails and slutty girls always are the first to go right? I think it's all about the chase/running scene. I love Halloween!!

  2. I forgot how awesome this post was!! And I LOVE Halloween so now I need to get on the ball and watch more spooky movies!! In pigtails, obv.

  3. Hahahaha I love this! I am not a scary movie person, but when I do watch my only way of getting through them is pointing out how stupid the characters are - just run away! Don't go to that house that looks scary as fuck! Don't go investigating that noise! Don't split up you nimwhits! They all had it coming, that's all I can say.

  4. I hate scary movies but this made me laugh. What I have seen, I'm like STOP SCREAMING THEY CAN HEAR YOU.

  5. LOL what I never understood was why white people always stick around (and either "investigate" or invite more white people) when obviously, there's either a killer on the loose, an evil spirit is trying to get you or weird shit just should not be happening. I guarantee you, Asians would high-tail it out of there the second anything remotely out of place happens because we superstitious like that!! LOL

  6. I love this post! So cute. I don't like scary movies or scary costumes, decorations, etc. I figure there is already enough real stuff in the world to be worried/scared about. I would like Halloween a lot more if everyone just dressed in superhero and princess costumes, and had Snoopy decorations in the yard.

  7. oh my gosh none of the ones you mentioned at the top have ever made me laugh. even that scary movie (you know the silly one where they make fun of all the scary movies?) scares me.
    i laughed so hard at don't answer the phone if you are babysitting. and the tripping over things, for real! it's like when the person is driving and they drop something you just want to scream don't pick it up! because as soon as they do, they crash or soemthign scary pops up in the middle of the road.

  8. I can't believe Halloween is only 10 days away!!! GAHHHHHH!!!!
    LOLOLOL The TV doesn't talk to you...

  9. my fave--
    hello? is anyone there?

    like the killer is going to answer!
    i totally do this though sometimes. idk why.

  10. hahah I love this list. Just RUN PEOPLE!

    Anyways love your blog, following now:)