In a Perfect World

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Lake Lanier, Buford GA

In an effort for me to not write a post that is solely a bitch rant I am not going to complain today. I am not going to tell you all of the things in my life yesterday that suck hind tit. I am not going to make this a vent. I am going to tell you how things would be for me in a perfect world. See what I did there? Positively positve... that's me.

So in a perfect world...

When someone goes on a fucking firewall network security cockblocking rampage he would ask me first which words should be blocked. For example... let's not block the words Vodka, Yoga Pants or Blog/Lovin. Mmmmkay... thanks. On the upside Barre, Gin and Porridge seem to be acceptable. Crazy is ok too... go figure.

I would stop looking around the barre studio at all the other women and compare myself to them and want to cry. My ass will never be 20 again or even 30... I need to get over it. Some days are easier than others. Yesterday was hard and I wanted to cry... a little... wah... 

Men would ask me out on dates... real dates. Not "let's meet up" or "what are you doing later"... that's just disappointing. I mean it doesn't have to be anything fancy just make an effort to pick a time and place in advance so I can plan my evening and my outfit why don't ya????

I would get paid my salary every week instead of every 2 weeks. I'm not greedy, I would just like to be making twice as much as I make now. Then I could pay all of my bills... and that would be so amazing!!! But I got paid a day early cause tomorrow is the holiday so woohoo!

The two in my office who are having an odd relationship would just stop it. It makes me so uncomfortable I want to look for another job... and I like my job. One of you is married... Come On!!!! Oh yeah... and your thong is showing today. In a perfect world I don't see anyone's thong.

My ex would just get a damn job already... I'm soooo tired all the time. Give a girl a break and be a man you fucktard!!! In a perfect world every man I know/meet has a  J.O.B.

Soldier boy would not be stuck in a fancy hotel room in Dubai waiting out the jag-offs in Iraq to get their crap together. He would be in a 4 star hotel room in Atlanta waiting on me to get off work and come sit at the pool with him errrday... with cocktails. ( I wrote this last night and praisallujah he's coming home Sunday, thanks universe, preciate ya)

 And on that note I think I am going to take a break for the long holiday weekend and enjoy my family. If I feel like posting tomorrow I just might but at this point I think I feel like doing absolutely nothing. After all it is a holiday... and I have to get my house ready for new floors which means moving a lot of shit around... ugh.

But tonight I am going home and grilling up some Monterrey Chicken, maybe some potatoes cause... why not... haven't cooked all week and the kids and I are craving something good like this... I'll be instagramming that shit fo sho!

And then hopefully we get our butts in gear and go see the fireworks!

Have a great holiday folks!


  1. Wishing you your perfect day in real life today and every day! I also never want to see anyone's thong.

  2. YES! In a perfect would asshole ex baby daddies would do the right thing and pay child support so I wasnt living on ramen and testing how far my gas light would take me. F why is daycare 400/month per kid!?!?!?!

  3. Noooo not the firewall! How are you supposed to escape the thong?! Hope you have a great weekend!

  4. that's why I preschedule post in advance so that if i'm gone post still show up. that's the good thing about posting in advance.

  5. omg, firewall cockblocks. ain't nobody got time fo' dat. once when i was being interviewed, i asked about their netwtork and computer systems/technology setup and they told me they were running windows 2000, they didn't know how to use Macs and they didn't have internet but just their INTRAnet. i guess the look on my face was an expression of "are you fucking kidding me" because he asked if that was ok. then i laughed and said something like "wow, did i just time-warp back to the early 90s?".

    when my work put a lockdown on admin function for laptops, i got SO MAD that i went straight to my director and demanded full access in order to do my job right. maybe the way i went at him was a little overboard because the next day i got full access hahahaha! HOLLA!!

    Vodka and Soda

  6. Calgon, take you away! We can't always be positive Polly, but I like what you did here ! :).Hope your weekend was awesome.