Urge to Hurl Rising....

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Does anyone else struggle with anxiety??? It started for me several years ago when my world and lots of other people's (thanks economy) was falling apart. It got worse during my divorce... go figure... and I finally broke down, quite literally, and started taking something for it. Life changing. Really... I could breathe, sleep, walk around without feeling like the grim reaper was behind me waiting to knock me down with that curvy blade thing. That was last year. 

This year some things seemed to be going better and like all rational people I thought... I'm cured. I have cured myself with positive thinking and clean cough cough living. So I let my prescription run out and I never went back to that nice Chinese doctor who kept asking me if I ate too much ice cream every time I gained a pound. Seriously, he really did. And it annoyed me because I was in fact eating everything and it's mother last summer, fall and winter and gaining multiple pounds. But that's another thing altogether. I should have gone back to see this doc in January to get my daily low, low, low dose anxiety meds refilled but I decided nah.... I'm fine now. And I still have plenty of Xanax which I can take for those emergency times when I have a little panic attack or fit of anxious feelings. I don't take it every day because I have a serious fear/phobia/what have you of becoming addicted to anything. Because I am inclined to do that, I really think its a genetic pre-disposition. Jesus Christ and a half I am making myself sound wacktastic here. 

The point is I am most definitely not cured. I have been feeling all those little things creeping back in that are in that lil illustration up above there. I don't like it one bit, in fact it gives me a giant hate hard on. If you google this it's actually called Rage Anxiety, idn't that special? And you know what's even worse?? All the symptoms that make up anxiety together, if you google them separately, pretty much indicate that you are dying of something or another... tumor, cancer, flesh eating bacteria. How long will it take us to learn not to google our symptoms??? And by us I mean me. So no more googling that shit. I know what I need to do and that's just suck it up and go see the doc and take my beatin's. And my medicine. Cause I really do function much better when I am not feeling like I constantly want to hurl. And self medicating with Franzia and/or Miller Lite is clearly not a responsible option, cause that shit wears off and then you're right back to square one, only with a shitty boozy headache which  could also possibly maybe be a brain tumor... according to Google. Jus sayin.

That is all. 


  1. OMG I think I have that and I just feel really nutso all the time.

  2. Ok I really really like how honest this post is but how hilarious you keep things. soo glad I follow your blog !

  3. I do at times and it's not fun at all let me tell ya.

  4. oh my gosh girl, I know the feeling. I've noticed that exercise really really helps me. I found the Bar Method and now I feel great working out. Before that I felt like crap every time I worked out. Also, ask your Dr to do blood work. I found out that I needed to be taking vitamin D3 daily and that has been helping too. I always try the natural way, but thats just me. Good luck, hope the anxiety gets better, hate that feeling more than anything.

  5. Girl. Get yo' ass to the doctor, get a script and START FEELING BETTER!

  6. Hey Amy!! I totally suffer from anxiety/depression and it sucks the big one. I am super stubborn and refuse to go any meds (again). However... sometimes it is necessary! Hope you feel better girl.. Iv'e been feeling pretty $hitty myself! :-/


  7. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety when I quit smoking back in October. It was bad. I was calling in sick all the time, having panic attacks, stopped eating and stopped sleeping. I spent a lot of time lying in the bottom of a hot shower trying to get my thoughts to stop attacking the heck out of me. I didn't want to be on meds though. I hate them. Eating healthy and working out did wonders for me. But what did the most, yoga. Seriously. Not the crazy sweating yoga but the calm meditative yoga. It taught me to focus on my body, quiet my mind and deepen my breathing. I hope you find something that works soon!!!!