Toothless Lunch Dates & Ballet Flats

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

So I went on a date yesterday, a lunch date. Haven't been on a date in awhile, a few months probably. I mean with someone new anyway... the stand-bys don't count for the purposes of this post. I guess at the beginning of the summer I thought it wise to un-hide the old POF profile (that's Plenty of Fish sticks for all of you non-singletons, a dating website) in search of some summer romance. Why oh why do I even bother??? I swear to God the quality of single men out there is on a serious decline. Also I could be just getting less and less interested in wasting my time with someone I know pretty much instantly I have no connection with. You see, in the beginning, when I was newly single it was all so exciting after being married to the same tired schlep for so many years. Even the bad ones had some redeeming qualities just because they were not "him". I am sooooo past that. The bad ones are just bad, period. 

But yesterday was a good date for the most part, it was just missing one little thing... a tooth. Yes, I need some dental work but no, it wasn't mine. He had a lot of the qualities I am looking for in a guy... job, friends, hobbies, a boat, 2 motorcycles, a home... sounds good right? What he didn't have was 1 tooth. In the front, just to the right of the big tooth position. Picture me with my head cocked to the left looking like "wait...what?" periodically throughout our lunch. How do you get to that point that it's ok to go on a first date missing one tooth? Am I overreacting because this seems like the need for emergency dental surgery to me, not lets plan a first date. Maybe he never had that tooth to begin with. Maybe he got in a bar fight. Maybe teeth are just not high on his list of priorities??? 

Aside from the tooth, he was nice and he bought me a nice lunch. He can cook and he seems like an involved, good Dad. And again, he's gainfully employed a real bonus if you know my story. And then there is the boat, how I do miss the lake life.  I didn't really feel a huge chemistry spark but I could have been just too focused on the lack of tooth. He did also mention that he makes quite a good living and he really doesn't even work at all which, call me crazy, makes me irrationally Stabby McStabberson when I work my ass off and have $75 in my checking account until Friday. Why do people bring that shit up either???  Ugh... I give up. Again.

On a super exciting decidedly not stabby note, how about some free shooz!!!! That's right I have another giveaway for you today courtesy of one of my most favorite ladies in blogland Amanda and her barre crew, which I am honored to be a part of this month! So check it out and get yourself entered to win a gorgeous pair of the hottest ballet flats around... Teiks. They come in all sorts of fun colors and have the pretty little turquoise sole and ... they fold up so if you are like me and you carry a ginormous bag full of your shiz you can stash a pair in there for later!
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Have a great day everybody and don't neglect your dental health!!!


  1. I know a guy that lost his front tooth in a bar fight and I could never look at him the same again.
    Girl I know I have 5$ in my checking account til Friday and half a tank of gas...such is life!

  2. Oh man missing a front tooth is kind of a big deal and the fact that he made no mention of it makes me think its a permanent thing. :/ im down to a small wad in my account too. Is it august 5th yet?

  3. Ummm a missing front tooth is a deal breaker ---- but maybe it was his test for you or something?? Like maybe it was joke...either way, no.

  4. A side tooth, no problem. We're all older. Shit happens. A front tooth? Emmm

  5. Oooh this is tough- maybe his dentist is busy and he's waiting for his appointment? But honestly I think it would be a deal breaker for me.. especially since we know this guy makes a good living and seems to have an open schedule due to not working so it's not as if money or scheduling is the issue here...

  6. wait what tooth was it??? I seriously am dying laughing thinking about you debating just busting out with it during the whole time. I need more details hahhahahaha

  7. One of my first dates from POF wasn't missing a tooth but was missing an eyebrow, by which I mean he just had ONE HUGE one across the entirety of his forehead. Uni-brow doesn't even cover it! Haha, great story though - maybe he has a retainer with a fake tooth the fill the gap? I know some people that have those.

  8. Which is why I dont date esp online dating. You never know what kind of hillbillies you will find on there. That or douche bags. But best of luck to you Amy.

  9. Bahahahahhahahahaha... poor guy... I'm sorry but that's hilarious!