10 Day Challenge Day 9 - Two Smileys That Describe My Life Right Now

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

This is such a weird topic to write about. I would never stop and think what kind of smiley would describe my life but it's on the list and I am trying to complete this challenge. Why?... no clue... seemed like a good way to find some things to blog about to get in the habit of writing every day. Which I have done pretty good at with the exception of weekends. Soooo .... here goes nothin!!!

This sweet smiley just speaks to me for several reasons. 1. I absolutely love anything in the shape of a heart. It is a tiny little obsession of mine and I am always looking for cute heart things to collect. 2. Having just gone through a thoroughly annoying  divorce ya might think love and all things lover-ly is the last thing on my mind but really it is quite the opposite. I got divorced because I decided that  loving myself was more important than trying to make some jackhole love me more than he loved himself. That doesn't happen ladies so just stop trying already please!!! And even though the actual divorce part was completely craptastic and I do not highly recommend it, the outcome is worth it. I love my life so much more now, even though it is eleventy million times harder... I <3 it. 3. It's PINK... and I loves all thingys that are pink equally and without prejudice. I just love pink... so pour me a shot a pepto and get over it. 4. It has squinchy eyes and I love that because IRL when people are smiling and happy they have squinchy eyes. I really don't know if any of this describes my life right now but I think if I had to slap a smiley on er' I'd be ok with this one!
See... squinchy eyes with my son at The Crab Shack in Savannah:)

So looka here... It's the confusing smiley or the confused smiley or the corn-fused smiley as the goofy lovable rednecks say here in GA. Ugh.... I am so confused. Wahhhhh!!!!  Every day since my divorce process started right on up until today requires me to think about things and attempt to make wise for a dumb Pollock decisions. I really hate to admit it but I am failing miserably at this because, well, for lack of a better way to put it I just don't know what the F*** to do. Daily. There, I said it. For quite a long time this confusion has been causing me great anxiety which I touched on a little this summer and led to some pretty serious health issues. I am not ashamed to say I finally said enough, I need some help and have been taking some anxiety meds for a little over a month now. It is helping treeeemendously!!! I am not embarrassed, the amount of stress I have been under would drive anyone to drink... or xanax. Oh, wait a minute, maybe that's why there is a certain vineyard in New Zealand that sent me a handwritten thank you note this summer hung my picture in their lobby, and their wine cellar, and their CEO's office??? Huh. Any who, the point is I am getting less confused. And with any luck soon I will be able to decide if I should move, sell my house or rent it out, get a room mate, rent out just my basement, get a second job, start catering again, look for a better paying job, tell my Mom how bad my financial situation really is, file for bankruptcy, join cross-fit, run a marathon, plan a trip to Greece, get married on the beach someday... hey hey sorry... getting off track again. Seriously, a little confusion is ok and I am ok with not making all the decisions at once. It's just not me, I have to take it day by day and really know when the time is right. The coolest part about all this confusion is that no one else gets to decide how my life goes or doesn't go but me and for that I am truly grateful!!

Dear Crazy Lady in GA, 
                                             We cannot thank you enough for your continued support. 
                                      All of our employees children can now attend college thanks to 
                                          your generosity. Keep on chuggin!
                                                                                                          The Vintners at Brancott Estate

Cheers bitches! Happy Boozeday Tuesday!

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