What's In My Bag???

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

First of all, when I read this blog post written by Sarah at Venus Trapped In Mars I couldn't wait to see what kinds of cool things she carried around in her bag. Cause if you think about it looking into the sacred receptacle of any super cool chick is a bit like peering into her brain. You see a lot about her, how her mind works, what she cares about and what she doesn't give a flying unicorn circus about. You can tell what's going on in her life and how well she is handling life in general (cough, cough, cough... xanax). Is she messy or neat? Girly or tom-boy? Seriously, this is clearly why no one is allowed to lay a finger on a woman's purse/pocketbook/whathaveyou, especially a man... it would give away all of our secrets!!

But then it hit me... wait... did she say "bag" singular??? This is when I started to panic a little... cause I have this tee-ninetsey little problem.. with bags, plural. I never carry just ever. I can't, I've tried... I need bags... multiple bags... as often as possible. This sounds a little dirty... oh the shame!!!

And my bags have bags in them....Please don't look at me right now...

"My name is Amy and I am a Bag Lady" there I said it.  And I don't mean like this...

Or even like this... although this would have come in handy last weekend in Monsoonville Tallahassee. 

Kinda sorta something like this... only this is Gisele Bundchen and I am in NO WAY implying that anything about me says multiple designer bag carrying Brazilian super model married to NFL super star legend who has questionable taste in hairstyles... just so we are clear.

But apparently Gisele and I are bag whore soul sisters cause this is what I came to work with today. 

Three bags to Gisele's five. I feel like a failure. And they are not designer bags, well not really but they do have names. 
From left to right: The Lily Pulitzer Lunch Tote in Dirty Shirley, The Thirty One Metro Retro Tote in Mod Dot and the Scout Uptown Girl Tote in Camo Tow. And they are all pretty full of the things I can't live with out so lets just have a looksee shall we?

Here is the list of what I consider to be just the basic necessities... in a somewhat clockwise fashion:
A full size glass bottle of Pure Grace (my signature scent), my Kate Spade purse make-up bag, a retractable powder brush, a stack of business cards, Visine, Nail Kit, full size Vic Secret Love Spell body spray w/ glitter (cause you can't leave home without body glitter in your bag), Germ-ex,  Coach wallet with check book and register... i don't even write checks anymore, a comb, 3 colored wooden tooth pics..eww, a full size tube of indoor tanning lotion that I accidentally cut out of the pic, two pennies and a dime, one piece of gold confetti, Chick-fil-a Mints, Nars super orgasm lip gloss (it has gold glitter in it), pens, a blue highlighter, the 10 Things We Love About You book my kids gave me for Mother's Day, Nicorette mints, insect repellent towelette, Forever stamps, a flash drive, 2 electronic cigarette cartridges, Listerine strips, my old lady pill box with pill cutter inside, Sephora compact mirror, Motrin, another bag with some xanax in it for emergency anxiety attacks, a wine bottle stopper... cause you never know when you might need to crack one open and just take one swig, a Burger Fi menu, random Publix receipts and a shopping list with one item crossed off... roast chicken... hmmm I am guessing wine was on the menu that night. And last but not least the contents of the other 2 bags: clean eating books, umbrella, hair ties, those post it stickers that say "sign here" for important documents ( no idea why), an accordion folder full of bills and my empty lunch tote.

Now you might say this is totally nutty and I have some hoarding tendencies but my theory is that in the event of a zombie Apocalypse or if the power ever permanently goes out like in Revolution you are all going to be wishing you were with me because we I can live out of this bag and that's a fact Jack. I got your number Giselle.

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