Humpday Confessions - Flipping The Switch

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

So as per usual I did not get this shit done last night because... sick kid. So here we go better late than never. I think Kathy is still on vacay... if so... Hi Hooker... have a drink for me!!!

I Confess........

I want to scream every time I hear this...

"Got any pictures?"

I get asked this question possibly more than any other from men in the online dating world. It annoys the ever loving crap out of me especially the ones that say it at least once in every conversation. Because let's just be clear about the pictures you want. Boobs, ass, full body shot, anything sans clothing is would also be great I'm sure. So man up and just say it, don't make me dig to see how much of a sleaze you are, just own it.  Oh and also, be prepared to send me a dick pic first cause I am creating the world's first dick pic coffee table book for the single gal. It will be complete with a pop up at the happy ending and is going to be my ticket to financial freedom.  So chop chop... drop trou!!!

Non weekday drinking has thrown me into early senior citizenship. the way I see it is if I don't want to be tempted to drink wine or eat garbage the next best thing is climbing into bed with yoga pants and a ratty t-shirt and cozy-ing up with the remote and maybe a little candy crush. Like Shirlee. Saweeeet.... Level 2!!!!

Bills suck and Universe if you're listening can I let go of my ankles now??

So in the last week I had an $800 car repair and nearly broke my hand in a million places. Yesterday I came home from work turned on the gas to heat up the kettle for tea cause.... old lady... and guess what? NO GAS!!! Rage ensued cause I knew I had just paid the muther effing gas company and could not be that far behind but car repair hosed me and I guess I spaced it last week. I cut and pasted my bill for you all to see what  I owe Gas South and when I made my last payment. $103.99 are you kidding me right now? You're gonna disconnect for $103.99???? Who fucking does this??? No warning... I have all my statements via email but they didn't bother to send a notice of DISCONNECTION. Notice the next statement hasn't even come out yet. WHAT THE FUCK???

They said they can turn it back on next Monday at the earliest. This means cold showers for me and my 3 kids for days. THIS MEANS WAR. Fix it Gas South or...

This is really my life lol...

I confess sometimes I am really bad at keeping it all together. I really feel like I need to make drastic changes in my situation soon  to like flip a switch, you know what I mean? I was watching Below Deck season finale last night and one of the girls left the yacht with all of her earthly possessions in a wheel barrow. A wheel barrow. Now obviously I can't go that far with kids and a job but, it struck me and I was jealous. Jealous because I am drowning in stuff and things and bills for stuff that isn't necessary. I also saw this real estate blurb about a 2 bedroom condo for sale in Atlanta that I would kill for. It's across the street from one of the oldest and most famous bars in the city, Manuel's Tavern. My first thought was I could die happy here:) Just look... and talk about a 180 degree switch form suburban life. Obviously not practical with kids and all but it's got me thinking... about changes.

Thanks for stopping by and listening to me ramble. Have you ever done something completely crazy that changed your whole life? And made it better?


  1. oh that sucks they cut your gas off, so lame. that condo is gorgeous, swoon!

  2. Sweet sweet condo.

    I've never heard of gas cutting off for $103.99. Really? Assholes. Did you call? What did they have to say for themselves?

    Dying over the dick pick book.

  3. I would live in that condo. Yes. Yes I would.

  4. Girl I can tell you all about how to make it all fit in 700 sq ft! One hint.....your oven can double as lots of storage!

  5. Trying this again....lets see if you can see this....

  6. That condo is uber cute, I can see why it's got you thinking about change. I can't believe those m effers turned your gas off...ridiculous aholes.

  7. that condo is awesome! Tell the gas company to suck it

  8. I would live in that condo - RIGHT NOW!! I can't even believe your gas company - don't they know you have children?! That liam gif is true!! Woo hoo for taken 3~!

  9. I didn't think they could just turn off the gas like that. Awful!!