Things Not To Say To A Person With Tattoos

Thursday, October 16, 2014

So it's the end of the first quarter here in our school system and that means parent teacher conferences are once again upon us. That magical time when you meet with your kids teachers and get the good news or see where you might be failing miserably as a parent. Ok maybe that's a little dramatic but chances are if you have kids you have felt that exact feeling a time or 3. So I went to my daughters 3rd grade conference on Monday and met with her teacher to get the good news cause she is my fairly amazing girl child. She loves school, is organized, gets her homework done, picks things up easily and does not get in trouble. She is like a mini me.... when I was 8 ....not at this point in my life unfortunately.

So as I was sitting talking to her teacher with my hands on the table the inevitable question was asked. About the tattoo on my forearm. And then another question after that. Now let me just say that I am not by any means "inked or tatted up", I have 4 visible tattoos and they are not big but I do plan on getting more. I sort of feel like if you only have a few you might get more stupid questions because they stand out against the rest of your blank canvas. Whatever the case may be, it's irritating and sometimes rude. Now I like the teacher and I knew she was being nice but it's awkward. My tattoos do have meaning and some are very personal, just for me. I don't really  want to share my addictions, marriage troubles, life achievements with just everyone. Got it??  So if you don't have any tattoos I have put together a short list of things not to say to someone who does and my thoughts on why....

1. Did it hurt? - Really??? Pain is different for everyone and different parts of the body are more sensitive but a machine with a needle on it is being drug across your skin while it's injecting ink.... wait what was your question again? I personally can handle it pretty well and do feel the endorphins pretty quickly which makes me a little loopy, but still. #shithurts

2. What does it mean? - Aghhhhhh... I don't know I guess it means I like it so I fucking got it!! If it takes me more than a moment or two of hesitation please back peddle... it's personal. Unless you have time for my life story then sit down and pour yoself a glass o' wine broseph. Shit's about to get real. #word 

3. Do you have more? - Yes, you just can't see them. Maybe we can find an empty bathroom stall or broom closet or something and I can show you. Do you have a flash light and maybe a compact? Seriously folks if you can't see more don't ask. You might get way more than you bargained for. I once went out with a guy who had  a winky face south of the happy trail. Yes there. #Truestory.

4. Where are they? - See Number 3. 

5. I want one but my husband/wife would never let me. - Ok, so this is not a question but I hear it a lot. How should I respond to this? I'm sorry? What's your problem? Does he/she own your skin suit? If you want one man up and get you one. Cause #YOLO. 

6. In my line of work I could never have tattoos.  - Really? I don't believe you because lot's of people have tattoos and you don't even know it. And what exactly are you trying to say??

7. How did you decide what to get? I could never decide.  - This is like asking how you chose a name for your kid or your pin for your bank card. It may or may not be personal but it may also not be easily explained so just don't. My tattoos are all black so I like telling people I just like black things. This usually confuses them. #onceyougoblack

8. Do you plan on getting more? - Yes, I plan to cover most of my body. No... God No... never. Why do you want to know? What does it matter? #Nunya

9. Just don't get a sleeve or anything like that hahahaha.   - Shut Up. #shutty

10. I hear you can get them removed with laser now!!! - Thanks for the tip. I'll look into that Captain Obvious.

So that about concludes Amy's helpful life tips for the day. Except for one thing. My daughter's teacher whom I really like eluded to that fact that she had some of her own, just not visible. She said "the school system really frowns on it and well, you can certainly understand why." I immediately bristled a little and thought, no I can't understand that at all. I teach my kids not to judge people based on their appearance. Doesn't everyone do that? 

I see a blog post for another day as I ponder that one....

Till tomorrow, your fave inked Mom, 


  1. I've heard all of these things. Tattoos are personal. Let them be, world.

  2. LOL at the do you have more...hilarious! I always bumble around when people ask what they mean because it sounds dumb when I say it but it means a lot to me.

  3. Ughhhhh seriously why can't people keep all their annoying ass questions to themselves?

  4. My husband has two which when you look at him you'd never think he did and I probably asked him all these questions when we first started dating...but I definitely don't ask people I hardly know lol!

  5. i laugh at people who think so old school and equate tats with prison, bikers or gangs. my husband has 2 full sleeves and a shaved head and at first glance, people think he's some kind of criminal, esp when he's with kayla. then they see how affectionate and whipped he is by her (LOL) and they get this confused look on their face!

    and the whole "in my line of work, i could never get ink"...that drives me crazy. how does having a tat in any way dictate what type of employee you'd be??

  6. Dude, seriously. You hit the nail on every head. Twice. I am working on a lower sleeve on my arm, and I get questions ALL THE TIME! I have tattoos everywhere. The ones that are in Arabic are the ones I hate having to describe. AND the stupid "did it hurt???" No. It tickled. It was licked on by baby unicorns... and at the very end, it was sprinkled with pixie dust so it will never scab over or itch."

    Ugh, fuck off. (not you—them)

  7. How about everyone just mind their own business? #ILikeBlackThings hahahahaa

  8. Both of my tattoos are hidden but they are there. They are for me and no one else. I once knew i couldnt date a guy bc he judged me by them before he had even seen them. #douchcanoe