Trust Me, You're Not That Busy

Thursday, March 10, 2016

I recently read something that really made me stop and think. It was in an Instagram post by Dallas Hartwig, co-founder of the Whole30, and he talked about glorifying busyness. Have you noticed how everyone on social media is just "insanely busy" all the time? Everyone is busy hustlin', killin it, gettin dat money, crushing it in the gym and serving it up as inspiration for the rest of us. And I will be the first to admit that I have bought into it to some degree. Although I am by nature a bit of a lazy fuck, I have found myself striving to be part of that busy it crowd, the fitspo's, the hustlers, the fitness freaks, the go getters...the ones who seem to never stop. Bloggers are totally guilty of this too... shoots, meetings, webinars, blah, blah, blah. But is that really a good thing? Is it a balanced life?

For example, I have a fancy planner and I take pride in looking at the pages fill up with meetings, appointments, outings, parties, obligations, etc. If it's blank I panic a little thinking I need to find things to do or make a list or something to fill in the gaps. But... I have never even considered scheduling my down time. In fact a couple weekends ago I planned (in my mind) a Sunday to watch Netflix or read and after a short time I started to feel immensely guilty. Which actually pissed me off to no end. I should be ok with laying around and doing nothing, everyone needs a break, I need a break! But I got up, got dressed, made some calls and met friends for tennis. Now that, in and of itself, is not bad, it's good. The point is I felt bad about doing nothing. Think about that for a minute. I don't ever feel bad about "doing things" for myself i.e. shopping, lunch out, a movie, a massage. I do however feel like I shouldn't be "doing nothing" at least not often. And frankly that's wrong, maybe even self destructive. I need time to do nothing. We all do.

Now I know a lot of people reading this will say "oh I already do that" and if so good for you. But really? A girl friend of mine quit my tennis team recently. She said life was just too busy which was "good and bad". How is it good when you are so over scheduled that you have to give up something you truly enjoy? Women and parents in general are notoriously guilty of this. I see it all the time. Kids are involved in so many sports and activities that parents are relegated to your basic taxi service during non-working hours. Don't even get me started on the fact that super busy kids with no down time are a source of pride for the modern parent. What exactly are we raising here? A new generation of hustlers who constantly need to be doing something. I disagree with that.

For the next few weeks I am going to schedule in my "do nothing time" when I open up my planner for the week. Do nothing to me doesn't mean sit and meditate and one hundo do not a thing... it means, read, Netflix, a movie, binge watch something, take a hot bath, catch some Z's. It means minimal effort and thought required, zone out time, go to la la land with zero fucks given. (As a blogger this makes me cringe because there will be nothing blog-able during this time whatsoever.) As a fan if the Snapchat this will be great because snap chat is all about the moments when you are not perfect or staged or done. I really like Snapchat by the way. As a fan of a more stress free life I think this will help me settle down a bit without popping a xanax, my anxiety has been back full force of late.

So what do you think? Are you overscheduled? Do you get what I mean about the constant need for everyone to shout from the rooftops how busy they are hustling? That life , when I am in it, makes me super stressed and it's hard to actually come down and rest but it can be addicting.

And just so we can leave this on a less serious note, the urban dictionary even has some terminology for what I am proposing we all do more of... kicking dicks...

Doing nothing.
Not doing anything useful.
This Iryna was just kicking dicks all day long instead of working.
by Jigurda12 February 29, 2016

Now Go Relax.


  1. Love this! I have no problem doing nothing but watching Netflix for a day. In fact, other than grocery shopping and meal prep....that is what my Sundays usually look like and I would not want it any other way! I need my down time.

  2. Downtime or self-care is something you will always find in my planner! Every week, even if it's only an hour or two and not a lot on the weekend.

    I hate when people are OMG so busy. We all have the same 24 hours. We all have a lot of shit to do. We all choose how to spend our time. I hate even more the parents who say you have no idea what it's like to be busy or tired if you don't have kids. Uh, go fuck yourself.

    And even though I don't have them, I'm VERY against scheduling every minute of a kid's time. When do they get to make up games or use their imagination in an unstructured setting? When do they get to race caterpillars or read books?

  3. Dead. I actually want to write a blog post now called Kicking Dicks and kind of spin-off of this....would you mind? I was just thinking about a similar topic but the dictionary term brought it full circle!
    I CRAVE the balance of busy/mindless in my life. Whether its around the home with home renovations or actual plans away from the house....if I spend a weekend day "doing something" I actually prefer to get some prep work done early then zone out. I am really hoping that's still possible post-kids too.

  4. First of all love the new design!! I was nodding my head in agreement over this post...I never really felt busy until I started blogging lol! Maybe I was but in a different way - it's something I've put on myself!! But I love my boring nights at home which are seriously not so boring to me! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

  5. oh hells no; i would never give up something i enjoy. in fact, i take some "me" time every day because i love me :D

  6. i am so guilty of not taking time and doing nothing. i feel like i will fall behind on the blogging game if i'm not constantly working and promoting, etc. i took to the mountains this week and here i am, on the computer. but just for comments. baby steps, hehe.

  7. Yes yes yes. I have been experiencing this on such a 10 lately. Over the past couple of weeks I have been really trying to just take 15 minutes of me time at least once a day. It's a helped tremendously with getting refocused and destressing.

  8. Love this! I hate being super busy but also feel like I thrive when I have stuff to do - such a catch 22. I will say I'm getting better about me time and that'a a huge mental help! I also think that life is super busy now with the kids and I'll be bored to tears in a few years when they are all gone so I try to remind myself to enjoy the moment! Great post!