I Puffy Heart Felons!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

And D.J.'s and rappers and reality stars. I swore to God I wouldn't do it. That almost felt like something I've never said before. I got sucked into to another Bravo reality show thanks to the genius that is Andy Cohen. Southern Charm has captured my ... attention...  like a Kim K belfie. Dat ass... I mean come on... it's hard to look away!!! And this little peek into the lives of the rich and not so charming  "southern gentlemen" of Charleston is like that too. I want to not watch but I'm watching  because I want to see what really passes for a "true southern gentleman" in places where folks have more money than they have brain cells... possibly due to inbreeding... not sure. Shep and Thomas already admitted to being distantly related cousins of the Boykin clan, soooo just sayin. 

Let me just run it down for ya if you haven't been watching. 

First off there is Thomas J. Ravenal or "T-Rav" as his polo playing chums like to call him. T-Rav is a 50 year old former politician who got convicted for "possessing" a large amount of cocaine... hello felon. Now this is funny because if he weren't T-Rav he may have gotten an "intent to do something with" charge thrown in there too but... there is a bridge named after his father. I don't want to like him but I kinda do. He admits to being a little fucked up which makes me want to get drunk with him and hang out on a plantation or something. 

T-Rav also has a polo field and a penchant for 21 year old girls who sleep around.  Woo hoo let's ride!!! Wait a minute I'm way too old for him. Washed up at 43... le sigh. 

Next up... Jenna King. I know she's not a guy but she's kind of interesting like the guys on the show in that Jenna just don't give a fuck. She shaves her head and wears 6 inch Louboutins at home, a million dolla downtown Charleston landmark that is paid for by her 50 something year old boyfriend Lou who lives in New York. Go Jenna!!! You are my hero. Oh and according to last night's episode she never neglects the balls and she has a "crystal meth vagina". Can we trade places Jenna?

And then we have the cantankerous but precious Whitney Sudler-Smith. Here he is ringing the dinner bell (swear to Christ) for his servant to bring him and his Mommy a fried chicken dinner... FRIED CHICKEN. Oh no you did not Bravo.Whitney is a grown man with a douche-y hyphenated name who lives with his Mom. I'm not sure I need to say anything else but I will. He claims to like girls but I am 90% positive that 100% of the time he prefers penis. I feel that kinship with him.

And let's end it on a positive note. Meet Shepherd Rose aka "Shep" because what else would you call a guy like this. Idk maybe Schlep? Shep doesn't work. He surfs all day and does a lot of day drinking too. He claims to have never had a problem with the ladies but the only one he can get so far is the one T-Rav already knocked the bottom out of. Step it up Shep. Maybe it's your pants.  He always looks a little messy, borderline homeless actually but considering he lives in his parents house I guess this is somewhat true? He is a descendant of the Boykin family and they have a spaniel named after them. I see where he is kind of spaniel-ish. My dog is a hound be he does this all day long too. Like I said... livin the dream Shep. 

The other 2 cast members are pretty boring thus far so not really worthy of my colorful descriptions yet but there is always the reunion show... or Season 2.

Damn you Andy Cohen, you got me again!

I think I need a mint julep or something now. 

Here's to gettin into the cups!


  1. I feel so lost and confused. I have no idea what you're talking about LOL

  2. I haven't watched this show, I should totally check it out. Tyson's been watching Party Down South because it was filmed here, so embarrassing. Hahaha

    1. Bahahahaha I watched that show and kinda liked it.....I watch really bad tv though ;-)

  3. I haven't watched this. Not many girls can pull off a shaved head and look that good doing it though, that's for sure!

  4. I only gave it one episode....should I have committed to more? I couldn't get past the men....they irked me. I didn't know that part about Ms Jenna though....that girl is killing it. She has the most gorgeous eyes!

  5. I think I need to just have a little taste of this show.