Not to brag, but I'm not married.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Booo-yahhhh. And the upside is I am really good at not being married. And not dating, I'm getting better and better at that too. I am pretty sure that talking about my dates on the blog prior to them happening is somehow putting some sort of literary cockblockery on me. I don't know what the deal is but something is puttin the hoodoo on my D4D plan. That's "dating for drinks" ladies and let's face it, most of the men thus far and/or here lately have been worth about one drink of my time. Is it wrong that I am measuring the value of my time in drinks? I think not. And before anyone starts judging me I am not dating solely for drinks like some hoebags out there who really just date for free meals. I shit you not, they do. I don't have time for dinner with strangers, but one drink???  I can carve out 10 or 15 min. for that all day long.

Turns out my date last night remembered at some point early in the day that he had a son, or had to pick up his son, or a kid of an ex... or some such thing. I sort of tuned out of the text after "I forgot I ... blah blah blah" and all I could think was "don't have balls". And buh-bye.

Turns out I really was in the mood for yoga pants and I didn't even know it so... win win muther fucker:) Just to be clear there is not ever a time I am not in the mood for yoga pants. And fish tacos. Which I made last night.

And believe you me, the irony of my date cancelling and me eating a delicious fish taco myself is not lost on me. Bah dum tsssssss.

So it's back to being off men for me cause clearly the universe is trying to tell me to lock it up. Except for my man friends cause they are my jam. They share their buckets of beer and feed me pizza rolls and tell me I'm pretty awesome for a chick.
And speaking of awesome chicks I have a total woman crush on J Lo. Did anyone see her on Idol last night??? She is effing perfection and I want every hairdo and outfit she owns. I loved what she had on last night because I die over fuscia. I have these pants and these shoes and I am going to try my damnedest to recreate my own version of this look. She so pretty.

Linking up with Ash for a  Happy Little Friday Ladies!!

The Grits Blog


  1. You will have to post the fish tacos recipe, because we love them at our house and I always mess them up.

  2. I did not see J.LO on Idol but I did here she'd let Ben and Diddy fucking drown if she had a raft and could only save one. So funny!!!

  3. I mean, I'm really good at feeding people Bagel Bites (made in the oven, duh) and also lots and lots (and lots) of boxed wine... sooooo, I mean, you wanna date or something?

  4. Yum, fish tacos! Sorry he bailed on ya. Whatevs. Pls post a photo when you copy JLo's outfit & hair :).

  5. Oh girl, there is NO problem with measuring your time in drinks. However, depending on who I have to deal with...that number just tends to go up...not down.

  6. What a turd. I'd rather spend time solo in my yoga pants too! haha

  7. ugh....well I mean clearly he missed out because those fish tacos look amaze and let's face it yoga pants always win in my book....can't we wear them to work?

  8. GIRL I swear J LO is the only chick that can pull off that kind outfit. GAH how does she do it?! AND how does she get her pony tail that voluminous!?

    1. P.S. - When I was single, I absolutely measured my times in drinks! HA So you are NOT alone there!