So here's what.... Introducing the #DickWhistleOfTheDay

Monday, December 30, 2013

1. Dick whistle
Slang for an insult which indicates said person has a paper thin penis, causing a sharp whistling noise as they walk by.
Well folks, I'm inspired. And I'm gonna tell you why. I had thee worst date possibly like ever last Friday night. The good news is it was very short. Exactly long enough for me to chug one Blue Moon and hightail it outta there. But it was bad, soooo very bad that I am starting a new tradition here in crazy town and I am inviting you all to join in. As you may or may not know I am a Bravoholic, so I'm taking a page out of my guy Andy Cohen's playbook a la "Jackhole Of The Day" and starting my own version.... welcome to the first installment of  #DickWhistleOfTheDay. I have provided you with the technical definition of the term above but, in the spirit of the hash tag please feel free to apply it to anyone... person, place or thing that you think deserves the moniker.

So, back to the date from hell and the fine male specimen that is inspiring this post and will from this point on be known as KDW (king dick whistle) but his name is Brian. I am going to condense this and just give you the highlights in bullet form to keep it simple.

  • Our date was at 7, he got to the bar at 5, he was drunk when I arrived
  • He didn't talk, unless you consider one to two words at a time talking, I don't
  • When I asked about his kids he said he doesn't see them cause he got "fucked in his divorce"
  • He was at my eye level standing, so he lied about his height in his profile, by about 4 inches
  • He got up,said he had to go outside to call his Mom.... yes I said his MOM & left me sitting at the bar
  • He was outside smoking (another lie in his profile) talking on the phone to his Mom when I left

Those are just the highlights. And again, since I met him on a free dating website I guess the moral of the story is you get what you pay for. Freaks. But, still he made me feel like a complete idiot so in the spirit of helping my single sisters in GA I feel it is my duty to share with you a picture of Brian who lives in Braselton GA and works for HP in logistics which probably means tossing around boxes in a warehouse KDW.

Sorry for the poor quality. He sent me numerous photos which I deleted. Somehow I still had this one.I think you get the idea. He's a real prize ladies... don't say I didn't warn you. And yes, the person I had to crop out in the photo was .... his mother. Fuck me... how did I not see this coming.

You can stop laughing now and please join in the fun and hash tag your own #DickWhistleOfTheDay. Maybe one of you computer savvy folks can tell me how to make a linky tag thing! KDW might be over on Instagram and/or Twitter too today talking about his tiny paper thin whistling junk.... you never know!

On to the next one! 


  1. Wow! You weren't kidding when you said that was a bad date! That's like the bad date to end all bad dates. I mean, why doesn't he just date his mom?

  2. You should add the word Brave to the title of your blog! Sorry your date sucked but it made me chuckle!

  3. You should add the word Brave to the title of your blog! Sorry your date sucked but it made me chuckle!

  4. omg I literally thought my dad was the only person who ever said that word. it is his fave insult!

  5. New reader. You are hilarious and he's a serious loser!