A Douche Bag Update & A Three-some

on
Thursday, November 14, 2013

Alright enough with the serious posts. Well sort of. I haven't really given you guys a douche bag update in awhile so here it is. The reason I got on this whole child support tangent this week is that 11-28 marks six months since the date my divorce was final. That's 6 mos that ex-D.B. was legally responsible for child support that he has not paid. It is on 11-28 that ex-douche bag has to get all of his belongings out of my house or they legally become mine. Now the man couldn't tell you his own kids birthdays but sure as shit on a shingle he knows this one date. He offered to get everything he can carry of his out while I am out of town for Thanksgiving. I'm going to pause here and let that sink in....


Ummmm... that will happen about the same time I have a foursome with Madge, Brit & Christina. Whatever. He's Not coming into my house to move stuff out with a crew of day laborers that he picked up on the side of the road while I am 735 miles away visiting my parents. So... dumb dumb has made arrangements to come over on Sat. and the "packaging will commence", yes his email actually said that... at 9:00 a.m. He can't drag ass to his kids football game at 9:00 but he can come over here and ruin my Saturday at 9:00 a.m.?? Thanks a lot butt munch. I guess what is making me so mad is that he owes me sooooo much money in support and I am really struggling yet he is going to come take stuff, put it in storage and slowly sell it off piece by piece on Craig's List. So I am wondering how I can get my dog to pee and/or shit on all his stuff spontaneously for the next few days?
The decree does not say his stuff can't smell like dog shit when he gets it back. 
I'll be live tweeting the whole event on Saturday so be sure and follow me on Twitter. Just kidding. Or not.


In other more shitastic news I got invited ( is that the right word?) to my first ever (that I remember) three-some this week!!! Should I pause for effect again?   I have a guy friend maybe with some benefits and seriously he is a friend...  that I adore and can be totally frank with about anything. He's single too and has a little freaky side to him and we had a convo recently that I am pretty sure got completely misconstrued shots and that led to this ridiculous idea/proposition/offer. The upside is that the next time I am feeling all "nobody wants me" I can console myself with the fact that apparently two people do want me... simultaneously. Grrrreat! Of course I said thanks but no thanks with some no hesitation... I never say never but I really don't think that's my thing unless it was like Bradley Cooper and  Channing Tatum . I'd be pretty much ok with getting passed around by those two... but that's just me. But for now I am flying solo and/or maybe indulging in the occasional twosome,
that's my story and I'm stickin to it:)

Happy Hookin' Lovies!
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