If Only My Parents Knew...About Puke & The Carwash

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Linking up with Miss Erin from Two Thirds Hazel  & Miss Rebecca from Mommy In Heels today for a little spilling of the guts. My parents might actually know this, in fact I am quite sure they knew a lot more than I gave them credit for. Since I am a parent now I can see that sometimes it's nice to sit back and laugh at your kid trying to get out of some colossal shit storm that they have created for themselves without you knowing about it. It's kind of funny the hoops we jump thru to keep our parents from finding out about our screw ups. At least I did, and that's ultimately the sign of a good parent... when you would do anything to keep from disappointing them, they are doing something right.

So let's get down to my story... its a short one. It has to do with a drunk guy, puke and a car wash. My older brother and I shared a car in high school... and it was my baby. For some reason I thought it was more mine than his... prolly cause it was kind of a chick car...  but it wasn't. It was a fire engine red Escort GT like this... oh lawd.....

So he takes the car out one night with his buddies. I think they went to a football game. Now everyone has that one friend in high school who drinks.... a lot more than anyone else and ours was Johnny K. I say ours because my bro and I were/are very close and only one year apart in school so there was over lap on the friends.  And all his guys friends dug me, but that's not the point, just an interesting tid bit of useless info.  But this was a guys night and I was mad that I was stuck at home and he was out in my our car. I think they went to  a football game. Any who Johnny K got really drunk and really sick on the ride home. As my brother is driving and yelling "don't puke in the car, open the door" JK lets loose and not only pukes all over the inside of the passenger door but himself as well. Now the car is trashed, Johnny K is a mess and the car stinks like beer vomit. What do you do? Hit the car wash... this kind of car wash... self serve.... (and it's fall in Michigan in an outdoor car wash... that shit is cold)


You drive in, open the passenger door, get your friend out and stand him up against the wall and proceed to power wash him and the inside of the passenger side of your car. Cause you can't go home with a pukey friend and a stinky car. Turns out the car wash doesn't really get the smell of anything out. So what's the solution? Cause when I got in  my car the next day I was furious and nauseous from the rank smell. My bro begged me not to tell and of course I was cool but we had to figure out a way to cover up the smell. I guess this was before Fe-breeze...Our solution... of course... smoke... and Lysol. Smoke our brains out. Because smoking in the car is not nearly as bad as drinking, right? So I/we smoked my/our brains out for about the next two months in an attempt to cover up the smell of puke. Brilliant logic of the teenage brain. I am sure my parents were like WTF did they do, and I'm sure they knew something but we thought we pulled one over. In the end we were punished by driving around in that puke fest ashtray car for about the next 6 mos.

That's about one of the best I got!

Please someone top that!


  1. Hahaha this is good. Thank god puke boy was wasted boy as well because that shit must have hurt and been cold as hell. I once puked out the window while someone was driving and it winded up all over the side of the car from the wind carrying it. Definitely had to go over the next day to clean it all off haha.

  2. HA! I love it. I never got a car til I bought one myself in college, but I remember trying to convince my mother that NO i had NOT been smoking at the prom afterparty. It was just the people AROUND me...and thats why my breath smelled like an ashtray. And then pretending not to smoke for the next 5 years. It was genius I tell you. Involved her roof at points and I was an adult then. But like I said in my post, that woman knew everything anyway.

  3. Ooooh yuck! I love that your brother power washed the poor kid! That's fantastic!

    Something similar happened to me in college... my best friend from growing up came to visit me in college and my friends and I wanted to show him around. So we took him to our favorite club and to a frat party. After our night of partying, I was up in the front of the car and my friend was in the backseat with one of my friends who was known to always be sloppy drunk. So when I all of a sudden heard a coughing sound followed by something hot and wet hitting me *shudder* I started yelling at my friend (the sloppy drunk) to stop throwing up (like even if she was like she could just turn it off) she then started yelling "it's NOT me!!" Turned out it was my friend we were trying to show around. He took my car to get detailed the next day and it came back as good as new. I don't know what they did to get the smell out but they did a great job ;-)

  4. Gross!! My best friend kept saying she was going to puke while I was driving her home on her 21st, and I stopped the car in the street in front of her house (I wouldn't even go up the driveway) and pushed her out. Well, I opened her door, undid her seatbelt, and let her fall out. I'm such a good friend.

  5. Hahaha. Oh my!! That is freaking disgusting. And covering up the smell with smoke? Double barf! That is hilarious!
    There are things I will NEVER tell my parents about, ha!