Humpday Confessions

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I confess....

I prefer no one in my office talk to me or ask me to do anything in the morning before I have my coffee and read my email. I want to kill them when they do. And God help you if you enter my cube.

In the wintertime I  only shower every other day. My skin gets so dry I feel like a lizard. And I am so lazy in the morning I want to sleep as long as possible.  If you see me wearing the ponytail, I'm on day two.

I really like Twitter but I don't 100% get it. How exactly do people get so many followers? Do they all pay for them? I'm not paying for that when I could have shoes... or makeup. And who has time to tweet all day long? And how are some people so damn funny? Please esplain it to me....

I am averaging a home cooked meal for my family about once maybe twice a week. The rest of the time it's cereal, toast, chef boyardee or Mac and cheese. But I do pack them all a big healthy lunch every day.

I hate laundry so much and I am always so behind on getting it put away, we pretty much live out of baskets and the dryer in our house. We are a no fold family and always wrinkled, but clean. Priorities. 

I am the most slack ass Girl Scout Cookie Mom that ever was. I laugh at all the other Mom's who take it seriously and make it a huge part of their lives. I prefer to go to the bar for a drink before attending the Mom meetings. Seriously. My best friend and I are doing it together for the second year in a row and I am pretty much making her do everything.  I did say I would come up with some cute accessories for them to wear at the cookie booth though. What do you guys think about this? The other Mom's will have a shit fit when they see this bahahahaha!


  1. i always forget about twitter. i'll go on it for a bit when im not busy and then forget i have it for like, 5 days. i recently discovered that a bunch of people followed me and had no idea :\

    re: dry skin: worst. i have that same problem. argan oil is my secret weapon :)

    Vodka and Soda

  2. I LOVE Twitter but I'm horrible at coming up with witty things to say in 140 characters or less. I find the more I Tweet and interact with other's the more people follow me.

  3. I don't shower every day in the winter either. I'm with you... my skin would just molt right off of me if I did. It's not like you get as sweaty/stinky in the winter anyway. And I do keep vaginal wipes on me just in case... I have SOME standards for crying out loud. ;P