Shit Men Say - Online Dating Edition

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Duh! Danae!

Well well well... muh prayers have been answered today cause I asked for a link up and these fine womens, Amanda & Danae brought it right to me... via my fave vodka soaked Kit Kat aka Kathy @ Vodka and Soda. My tiny Polish brain thanks you because it doesn't have to think... ouchy!!! Yee haw and hell yeah!!! And  let me just say that these two ladies must be a lot nicer than yours truly cause I would have put "stoopid", "effed up" or "sorry my brain is the size of a walnut" in front of  "Shit Men Say". But whatever, they are probably married and I'm not so... yeah. Uh huh, moving along... I decided to give you some of my most favorite things I have heard from the inferior sexes on the online dating sites. Here's a short list of just a few gems... enjoy. 

1. "Hey" - That's it. This is supposed to intrigue me into wanting to read their profile and sleep with date them. Sometimes they change it up with "Hi". No... thank... you. 

2. "You're hot/beautiful/pretty/sexy/gorgeous". Take your pick. Really??? Well hold on while I take my pants off!!! Again, I say thanks but whatever dude. Not very original. Back of the line loser. 

3.  "GO Gators/ War Eagle/ Roll Tide"  Or any other college team  for that matter. I have, in my screen name, the word Nole... indicating that I am a Seminole fan. A die hard in fact. Why would you lead by cheering for a team that I hate???  Because you are stoooopid... if you said GO Noles I'd be all like "hold on while I take off my pants".

4. "Would you consider dating a younger man?" Now this one is very common from all my little cubs. I am 43 so I am in fact could easily be considered a cougar.  But 20, 21, 22.... come on boys... that's just gross. Sorry... can't do it. I have Coach bags and Frye boots older than you!!!

5. " When are we going out? Here's my number, call me. 1-800- IMA-TARD" Wait what? Excuse me, did you just say me call you? I don't even know you. Believe it or not this happens all the time too. Here's how it works guys, I don't call you, you call me. And it's really annoying that you presume we are going anywhere. Don't do that. 

So ladies when you are thinking of all of the shit your men say count your lucky stars that you just have the one saying the shit. Us single gals have to deal with the masses of dumbasses!

Cheers B's!!!


  1. Oh the adventures in online dating! Can't wait to hopefully read more! Thanks for linking up!

  2. thanks for the shout-out, lady!! and btw, you're the hottest 43yr old. i thought you were in your late-20s based on your profile pic. meow!

    and the online dating is hilarious! i once was helping my friend screen for candidates for her to talk to and the amount of baloney on those online sites/messages they sent her were so funny and ridiculous and outrageous!.

    Vodka and Soda

  3. "Hold on while I take my pants off!" Bahahahaah! LOVE it! I feel like I need to make a fake online dating profile just so I can hear some more of the dumb shit guys say on there.
    Thanks for linking up with us!
    P.S. This bitch ain't married. :)

  4. OMG I freaking loved this...hilarious! I have coach bags and Frye boots older than you! (ouch!) My friends and I in college used to make fun of idiot men on dating profiles when we were bored.


  5. Hah! Very nice! There are so many idiotic men on dating sites. Annnnnd that's why they're STILL single.

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