Humpday Confessions

Happy Humpday Hookers let's get to the bidness at hand and hump Ryan's face together with Kathy...

I confess I secretly stalk a few people on Facebook who I am not friends with but they are stupid enough to have their pages wide open for all the world of stalkers like me to see. Just because we are not friends or I don't like you or you don't like me doesn't take away from the eensy bit of pleasure I get out of looking at the stoopid shit you say and do. I don't know why I do this, it's really dumb. But I can't stop, won't stop.

I confess I had my very first day-drinking-workday-date last Friday. I had 2 Jack and Diet Coke's and no lunch. I thought we were having lunch because he invited me for lunch and drinks... which I thought was odd but hey... it was Friday. When the waiter asked about our order he (my date) promptly picked up the menus and handed them back saying "we are just drinking". Through the course of our drinking date he offered up that one of the reasons for his divorce was that his ex-wife thought he drank too much.  I went back to work with a tiny buzz, very hungry and promptly deleted him from my phone.

I confess I really fucked up my fitness challenge over the weekend. And I feel bad, I ate some serious shit I shouldn't have eaten because I was so tired and busy and I didn't have a plan in place. I so want to kick myself in the ass for being so dumb! So when the coach from my fitness challenge asked us to post progress pics on our private facebook group page yesterday and no one did, I did, to punish myself. And still none of the other wimps did it.  FML... so I'm the only one who bared their pork choppery for all the group to see. Moving on.

I confess there are two people in my office having a highly inappropriate relationship and I straight up want to murder them. Not because what they are doing is wrong but because they are bringing it to work and they sit next to and behind me respectively. Stop fucking touching each other!!!! Oh yeah and maybe get some actual work done and stop acting like hormonal teenagers... we see you!!!

And I confess that sometimes I stay online dating just for the entertainment factor. I have been on and off for long enough to see some of the same people pop up over and over again. Like blogging friends, you get to know some of them not IRL. I bumped into one of those recently and I got the best laugh of the day.

Ba dum tsssss.....