Plenty of Fish In the Cesspool

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

So as I said yesterday that I was jumping back on the dating train. Well, its been just a few days of surfing the online pool of fish in the dried up creek bed and already I am seriously rethinking my decision. So far here are just a few of the comments, requests and questions I have gotten from potential suitors:

Could you send me a picture of your feet? 
Hell no.  

What is a blogger? What is a blog?
We can't be friends.

So what are you looking for?
What I said in my profile. READ man!

Where do you live? What is your height? What do you weigh?
On my profile. On my profile. One hundred and fuck you.

I know its late but why don't you come over? My friend and I are just hanging out. We can all hang out. 
GTFO... do I look like a hooker?

Would you like to go out to dinner this weekend?
Me: I have my kids this weekend.
Bring them along, we can do dinner and maybe a movie. 
Not sure if this is sweet/harmless/desperate or just creepy. No.

No one wants to go out or meet in real life. 
Me: True, I'm free this week. Let's get coffee. What night is good for you?
Followed by silence... crickets... after we talked for awhile and seemed to be hitting it off. Guess he got scurred!

And then there are the guys like this. Their profiles are full of everything they don't want and lists of things they can't stand. Ever heard of the law of attraction??? Oh and while ***your*** at it use spell check because you sir not only sound like an asshat but read like a moron. Yes... swear to Christ this is an actual profile by dontbefake39. Watch out for him ladies, he'll steal your heart!

Ask me..just seems that no one knows what they want anymore. One thing I can't stand is a superficial person. If your after money then get a job or a sugar daddy. (trust me I am looking for one/both) I'm not here to pay your bills. (really?) I have my own. 2nd....if you think your to good to reply or think your sh*t don't stink then im here to tell you otherwise.(you are? you're here to tell me my shit stinks? Awesome I thought it didn't) Ladies...please stop with the stupid duck lips pics (FU I do what I want)...not sexy at all! Also..if you wanna dress like a hoe and put pics on here looking all provocative and what not then say your looking for a Christian man and God is the center of your life then act like it and put some clothes on and maybe you won't get a bunch of pervs trying to take your panties off (and then I could get a charmer like you)...geez. I don't do drama or bullshit.(clearly, thanks for the heads up) If your still stuck on stupid (your ex) seperated or still married then don't waste my time. I'm not that old but old enough to know better. With that said...if I message you then im interested. Dont take my interest for granted. (I will jump for joy and never ever take your interest for granted oh great one) If I don't reply then im not interested. (thank you again I was not sure) I'm probably gonna take a lot of heat for this but honestly I don't care anymore. I like what I like just like everyone else so please. ..Fat girls leave me alone and don't bother please. I'm 6'3" 230 lbs. If you are over 160 lbs don't bother. If your over 40 and look 60...don't bother. (I can't figure out how you are still single, so dang sweet) This site is pretty annoying at times and I don't have time to play games. (Not even naked twister? shoot) If you know what you want then hit me up. (I want pizza, all day errry day) Don't waste my time and use me for dinner and a piece of ass. (ok just pizza then, no ass) I've got a heart and feelings just like everyone else so don't play on my heart and emotions cause if you do then im not such a nice person afterwards. (dun dun dunnnnnn) So with that said..good luck happy fishing...don't waste my time and I won't yours. Ps. ..I'm not an ***hole I'm just tired of bullsh*t and fake ass ppl. Word!

Hey... newsflash DONTBEFAKE39  - you are indeed an asshole, textbook version I think. Word.

If you have a nice man in your life count your blessing ladies. It's a petri dish out there. 


  1. Fat girls leave me alone! Ha ha. What a treat of a man. Geeze

  2. These are MY FAVORITE POSTS of yours! FAVORITE!!!! I have been with my hubby forever so I never got the chance to online date. I die laughing when I get to read shit like this. How does this asshole think this is okay to put out into the World? I wonder if he gets any chicks.

  3. wow what a peach. It's a wonder why he's on a dating site and hasn't been snatched up yet!

  4. Sad to say a lot of them are like that guy above. I can see why he is single, if you are that jaded then maybe it's time to take a break dude.

  5. never trust a man that uses your and you're wrong. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE!!!

  6. Hahahaha I don't miss online dating one bit, but I have to admit it is quite entertaining! It blows my mind what some people put on the internet, especially for potential love interests!

  7. He even put a weight limit.. 160 pounds.. so what if I am a skinny looking 165 because I am tall?? LOL!!

  8. Thank god they are at least providing entertainment because they certainly aren't getting dates!

  9. DOUCHE!

    At least it's entertainment for us when you share.

  10. he used "your" instead of "you're". that means he's an imbecile.

  11. I laughed so hard at this post. "one hundred and fuck you". Who asks for weight though... Also that douche canoe who posted that rant needs a dictionary ... stat. or spell check.