What I Miss Wednesday - Pretzel Bread & Xanax

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

All I can think about for some reason today is Costco Labriola Pretzel Rolls. And I miss them, oh how I miss them. You see, I was at Costco a week or so ago and they were on my list. I don't buy them too often cause truly, I could eat the whole she-bag. But I had been really craving their particular kind of soft, dense, pretzelly goodness and I decided we hadn't done the deed in awhile as in "open mouth insert roll" so tonight was the night.  I shopped around, casually working my way back to the bakery, picking up essentials along the way... wine, cliff bars, bacon jerky, a tub of hummus, some stinky cheese, gummy vitamins and some chia seeds (just the bare necessities) knowing the whole while that soon I would be reunited with my beloved. 

I got to the bakery, it's big the Costco bakery so it took me a sec, and went right to the spot where my sweet little buns of pleasure live on a shelf. I had a spring in my step and a twinkle in my eye as I reached for my babies. And then I immediately pulled my hand back like it was on fire... I had touched a ... dun dun dunnnnnn.... Croissant. What the fuck was going on??? The room started spinning and all I could see around me was baked goods, all kinds of baked goods but no pretzel bread. Donuts, bagels, kaiser rolls, muffins... posers, wanna be's, imposters, fakes.... all of them. I collected myself enough to wave over the man in the bakery to inquire as to the whereabouts of the most mother effing fan fucking tastic bread on the planet. At which point he informed me that "Costco no longer carries pretzel bread, ma'am".  And my face must have went something like this...

When Daryl on The Walking Dead sees his brother Merle turned zombie 

and realizes he will have to kill him. Shit's gettin' real. Like no more pretzel bread real!!!
Because he took one look at me and said "that's the reaction I generally get from everyone". I'm so sorry for your loss... OK....he didn't really say that but I could see it in his eyes as I walked away. So I have put it all behind me now, it's been a few weeks and I am doing ok. I had my doc up my xanax a little and it is helping some. That and the wine, the wine always helps. But my son asked me this morning if we could go to Wendy's some time soon and I said I guess so why? (I'm not big on the fast food ya see) And then he handed me this....

And my heart skipped a beat and I closed my eyes and imagined handing the University of Florida (Gaytors) grad taking my order at Wendy's this...

If you don't see me on the flip side you know the Po-Po got me and I still got not pretzel bread love!

What do you mis??? 

Later Gaytor Haters!

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