You Want Me to Sleep Where???

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Someone recently told me that she likes my blog because my life seems a little like a soap opera. Ummmm yeah.... I have been saying that for years. I really couldn't make this shiz dip up!! Soooo... As the world turns, there's this guy (and if you're new here which most of you are you know posts that start this way are generally entertaining if nothing else). He has tickets to the AL vs. LSU football game. Not just tickets but sideline access, as in on da freaking field wit the #1 in the nation Alabama Crimson Tide football team. That means me hangin with Nick Saban and the boys.... don't I look all cute up in dere?

His nephew is a trainer and is on the field for every game so that means we can get on the field too. How cool is that??? Not to mention that the AL/LSU game is a ginormous rivalry and is always a redneck cousins/Cajun lovin freakfest party to end all parties. Just look at these two jackholes... I wanna touch see that in person.

Now Tuscaloosa is just a hop skip from Atlanta so we can just drive down for the day and avoid all the chaos in the town. Cause you know homeboy, being a guy, did not think this thru and book himself us a hotel room last year when all the other Crimson kissin cousins booked theirs. So post game we can just roll tide on 22's in my big SUV on back to the A-town... right? Wrong.
(Cause this is how I roll and dis bitch is paid fo.... in case I ever have to live in hurr)

Problema Numero 1- Game time 8:00 p.m. That means it won't be over till like 11:00. That's a really crappy time for a road trip back to Atlanta. I am old and this old lady don't like draggin ass anywhere at 11 p.m. that doesn't involve fireball shots and/or soft sheets and a fluffy pillow. And maybe something hard... or maybe not. But maybe.

Problema Deux - Southern Fried Freakfest Day Drinking. Now we all know there is no alcohol for sale at college football games but I gay-raun-teeee yours truly and company will make sure we pound a few dozen Bud Lights prior to entering the hallowed walls of Bryant-Denny Stadium. This also makes a post game road trip sound like a one way ticket to an Alabama slammer. I don't care if orange is the new black. Not happening.
But no worries... man-friend has come up with a most excellent plan as to our accommodations for the night. Remember my big baller SUV I mentioned earlier??? Yeah... uh-huh... that's where he thinks we should crash for the night. My VEHICLE... in case you didn't get that the first time. Because you know... the seats all fold down and we can fit an air mattress in there, crash and high tail it outta there in the a.m. Srsly...As in SLEEP in my CAR!?!? Whoa... Wha???  I  mean I'm not a high maintenance girl but this is pushing it. The wine in the cup holder almost sells it though... but I will not have plaid sheets. I draw the line there.
 The only other option is crashing in his nephew's apartment with nephew's roommates... and nephew's parents (his brother and sis-in -law) in town. Bear in mind I have never met any of these peeps. So basically I'm the new hooker who gets drunk and sleeps in her car with their brother/uncle. But a nice car, it's not like a bang van kinda thing and I would get to experience the whole AL football dynasty like from the sidelines... with Nick Saban. Or I bag the whole thing and make him take me to the SEC Championship here at the dome in Atlanta in December... which he also has tickets to. And I can sleep in a bed, somewhere in this town. But where's the soap opera badassery in that? And lezbihonest, my FOMO will prolly get the best of me. What would you do?
It looks kinda cozy doesn't it?

Roll Tide! Geaux Tigers!

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