Hurry Up Summer...

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

I am so ready for summer, I think summer and I should have a fling.  I need a break. It's funny when you have kids you really get to appreciate summer vacations again just like when you were a kid. I mean I still have to get up and go to work everyday but my kids don't. I don't have 3 other people I am responsible for getting out into the world and on their way everyday before I even eat a cheerio or face morning traffic. Halle-fucking-llujah!!!!

This summer I am going to make sure I ship the kids over to their  Dad's house a good bit more so he can be me and (yeah good luck with that)  I can be the me that I really want to be this summer. The me who is tan and relaxed and healthy and enjoying life with my fling. Cause I am so ready for summer vacation. I already decided that as soon as I find a suitable candidate on Tinder I'm having a summer fling with him too. Because who doesn't like a good fling or even better multiple flings... I think the pro's out weigh the cons like...

Flings involve a lot of sex...Pro

Fling sex involves getting naked...Major Con

But...In the summer we are tan... Pro

And...If you have to get naked better to do it with a tan...Pro

In the summer we day drink and outdoor drink more... Pro

Flings are better drunk... Pro

And summer involves a lot of Day drinking and weeknight drinking...Pro
(oops did I say that twice)

Which is conducive to keeping flings going strong... Pro

Flings don't allow you the time to get sick of each other... Pro

Gosh... that's a big one cause I get sick of folks really fast. Men especially are kind of annoying... like giant children.  I think maybe if I don't project big expectations and just think short term I might be more successful. I can commit to anything for 90 days. And I am ready to fully commit to summer. 

Last summer was so weird for me. I didn't think I was depressed but looking back I was kind of depressed. My divorce was just final. My kids were gone a lot which I enjoyed actually because I was depressed tired. So I wasted my whole summer laying around, sleeping, drinking wine... I honestly did nothing productive. This summer is going to be different dammit. I might still do all those things but I gonna make more of an effort to find someone to do it with. My fling that is... universe please get on it. And I am going to get the fuck outta my house! I  have proactively planned things which I did not do last year. (I actually just planned to lay around and eat cheese and drink wine so that's not totally true) This summer I have...Concerts (tickets bought) , 2 tennis teams... matches every Sat. & Sunday, some catering gigs, a fitness challenge I just committed to for 30 days. I am going to be busy... but with my stuff... not everybody else's for a change. Ok I will still have kids stuff but I'm putting mine on the same plane as theirs all summer long. And I am really looking forward to it. 

What are you looking forward to this summer? Memorial Day is in less than 2 weeks!!! WooHoo!!!

Sidebar: This pretty much describes my constant state of being lately. Thanks Louis!

When you have plenty of food to keep you well nourished, but you gluttonously want or desire more than you need. To "feel" hungry even though you ate today. As defined by Louis C.K. on March 29, 2014.
"I am first world hungry, I would <like> a donut." --Louis C.K.
by 1eyed Jack March 29, 2014

1 comment :