You're Kinda Dumb... But You May Be Onto Something

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Time for another installment of Adventures in Online "Dating" if I could even call it that at this point because it's not really resulting in many dates.I have stopped even telling you guys when I schedule a date because they seem to always fall thru. Or go horribly awry. I may have a lunch date on Friday for drinks, his idea not mine. Day-drinking workday I said "may".  But I am still learning new things every day, things that continue to shock and awe me. Are you ready??? Don't panic... I'm not posting pictures of any one's junk or jack off videos or anything like that but I could. Cause ya know that is part of interwebz dating for a lot of guys nowadays... way over-sharing way too early. Trust me, it's a real honest to goodness thing. Back to my latest revelation.

So guys are constantly hounding me to connect on social media early on in the "process" and up until recently I have resisted vehemently. My excuse is that I use social media for family, friends, blogging (acceptable strangers) not creepy stalkers who may or may not think I would make a good lamp shade. Ok, I know I am being overly dramatic here but there was a Craig's list killer. Well, that was actually a prostitution thing  but you know what I'm saying, people are fricking whack out there.

 But then I started thinking... dun dun dun... maybe I should try it. Maybe these guys had a point. Maybe you could get to know some stranger better by stalking there FaceBook and lurking their Instagram. Maybe I was thinking about this the wrong way, after all you can always block and delete if shit goes south. Right? So there was this one guy, let's call him.... "I speak one word sentences guy". Wait that's a bit long, let's just go with Word. Word is probably reading this right now because after relentless hounding on Kik of all things cause he couldn't even commit to a phone number, I said "Fuck It, let's go all in" and friended his ass all over the place. Don't judge me I was bored. I am sure he was elated and likely proceeded to spend the next several hours researching my entire life history via social media. And let me just say I have a lot of history. I am an active person, lots of friends, social stuff, parties, sporting events, travel...I do it all. And then I decided to go look at his FB page. To learn about him. This is what I found. As best I could conjure up via screen shots on my phone. (I'm blurring this out for privacy but I think you see what I'm getting at)

Page after page after page of the exact same thing. Selfies with ballcaps, Atalanta Braves and UGA Bulldog pics, stats,scores and memes. His wall was play by play action of every game, every night. Live FB'ing if you will... is that even a thing? He said Twitter was dumb so guess he wasn't live tweeting like a normal person. Page after page after page. So maybe I  learned a valuable lesson here. Maybe sharing on social media isn't that bad. It took me all of 2 seconds to learn we are not a match. Not that I was really thinking we were, he was just persistent and a little dense. He just wouldn't let up lol so I will admit it was an experiment for me to see how it would go down. The funny thing is another guy just asked me the other day about FB and I completely avoided the question cause in the back of my mind I was thinking "FB is just going to ruin it for me". 

So the moral of the story guys is if you are gonna connect on FB (or any social media outlet) with a girl you want to impress you should maybe consider Catfishing that profile thing up a little bit. At least add some bogus content to make it look like you have a life or friends or something!

Next up... adventures in Skype... not naked Skypeing cause apparently that's a thing too... just Skype regular. If I ever get the nerve up to actually do that. On second thought... lol

It's a jungle out there!


  1. Acceptable strangers! Haha! That's awesome! I think guys in general aren't as into facebooking as girls (with some exceptions). When I think of my husband's facebook, it's mostly just pictures I have tagged him in and a few things he's shared from other people...I think for him it's more of an "when I get extremely bored" thing, not an all day long must share everything thing like a lot of people (ahem, me). On the flip side, I'm way more boring in real life than I make it look on Facebook! :)

  2. When I was using online sites for dating, it seemed every time I used Facebook it did exactly was it says, "friended" them. After a while I stopped trying there. I actually preferred guys who didn't use social media. They live more in the moment than on their phones.

  3. oh my lord. that is hilarious! i dont know why, but it super bothers me when guys are really active on social media. my husband is on facebook, but he's not on it every day and never posts photos or anything. my ex used to post a selfie a day!

  4. I love dating stories. And talking about how people use social media.

    Nudie skype! I didn't know that was a thing.

  5. hahahaha I added a few guys i met online on fb but one turned creepy really quick so I blocked and deleted all of them!

  6. Hey Amy!! Omggg I love that show Catfish! I saw that episode with that guy in that GIF who was getting all up in that poor guys grill and the camera crews. Me and my bf where like ..wwttf..?? It really is crazy out there, and I give major kudos to all who go through the online process. Its true, if your going to connect with someone on your actual social accounts make an effort to be interesting or normal. Normal goes a looong way lol!!! GREAT post girl! XOXO

    I also follow you on GFC so I don't miss a post now! :)


  7. Bahahaha omg this is hilarious. But really, I agree with you! Although I'm not in the dating scene, I definitely think that seeing someone's social media pages would help you weed out the lost causes haha.

  8. OMG . . . who knew all the crazy shit that goes down with online dating these days . . . the movies make it seem so easy and magical. And while I hate the jokers you have to sift through in hopes of finding a suitable guy, I'd like to thank you for sharing it with us because seriously . . . it's good stuff! :-)

  9. Do guys really send jerk-off videos?! YOWZA! bahahahaha